


Best Mistake

by klaylope



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe, Angst, Arts, Best Friends, BoyxBoy, Haikyuu - Freeform, Iwaizumi - Freeform, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Office AU, Oikawa - Freeform, Tooru - Freeform, Yaoi, best mistake, daisuga - Freeform, haikyuufanfiction, hajime - Freeform, iwaoi - Freeform, oikage, oishijima
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:18:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 56,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8415277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klaylope/pseuds/klaylope
Summary: Hearts are muscles. They don't break like bones do. They get torn. And once they're torn apart, they are never the same again. Oikawa Tōru learns this the hard way. When his most trusted person in the world dealt a massive damage in his life, he was never the same again. All Rights Reserved 2016 © Freya Emmanuelle





	1. All Too Familiar Voice

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
> 
> This fanfiction was originally posted on Wattpad. 
> 
> *WP date  
> Date Started: March 25, 2016  
> Date Finished: April 23, 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Up until now, the past still haunts me. It has stayed with me through the years; it didn't let me move forward and go on with my life. I was wondering if, maybe, just maybe, I was one of Love's favorite victims - considering that he hasn't let me go just yet.
> 
> I hate him. I hate the person who put me through this, who drowned me into this deep abyss. Not a day has passed that I haven't been thinking of him. Because despite leaving me hanging, I know deep inside that I still love him. He will always have a place in my heart - a spot he never gave importance, a spot he left. A spot that now lies bare without his presence and has become an empty void, subconsciously, deeply and undeniably waiting for him to fill these empty spaces again.
> 
> I am Oikawa Tōru and this is my story. I still remember what he used to say to me: "If loving you was a mistake, it's probably the best mistake I have ever made, and I wouldn't mind committing it over and over again."
> 
> I am Oikawa Tōru. And my best mistake will be the death of me.
> 
> •••
> 
> Copyreader/Editor: ErensHeichou
> 
> All Rights Reserved 2016 © Freya Emmanuelle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story originally posted on Wattpad.

The bright yet comfortable rays of the setting sun brushed through Oikawa's chocolate-brown locks as he gently nuzzled the side of his head against the car's window.

He couldn't help but notice the pleasing sceneries he passed by as he listened to his favorite playlist on his iTouch.

It was a very long and quiet drive to the venue, and Oikawa was just sitting at ease in the back seat, while his trusted driver drove him.

Despite having one ear pod plugged in his left ear, Oikawa could still hear the loud beating of his heart. It grew louder and faster knowing that he's inching closer to his destination.

His mind wandered as he stared aimlessly outside. Oikawa was cut off from his train of thoughts when he heard his phone ring.

He let out an annoyed huff as he groped for it inside his suit's compartment. Kageyama Tobio's name flashed on the screen. He slid it right and answered the call.

"Where are you?" A stern voice greeted him, sending chills down Oikawa's spine. He bit his lower lip as he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I'm on my way Tobio." He replied nonchalantly.

Though Oikawa is very familiar with Kageyama's calm and collected demeanor, he sure knew that he was starting to get in the young lad's nerves. "Oh c'mon Oi! You already missed the wedding ceremonies! Being on time in the reception is the least you could do!"

Oikawa's eyes fluttered close as he heaved a deep sigh. "Is he there?" He gulped as he asked, not knowing if he's ready for Kageyama's answer or not.

"Of course he is." He stated matter-of-factly. "Don't tell me he's the reason the thought of ditching Suga and Daichi's wedding crossed your mind."

Oikawa just pursed his lips, knowing that arguing with Kageyama right now would be pointless. He is right after all.

"I'm already at the entrance! I have to hang up! Bye!" He exclaimed hastily as he dropped the call. Oikawa smiled at his driver genuinely as he opened the door for him.

He immediately gripped the laced box beside him and stepped outside. Taking a deep breath as he eyed the beach.

It was as if his heart was in a race, it beat erratically as he grew uncomfortable with the feeling. The gush of wind from the cold sea breeze making things much worse.

His feet brought him inside the reception area by the shores, his head hung low. He kicked practically every pebble he passed, trying to distract himself from the unpleasant, yet imminent meeting, which, with just the right amount of misfortune, which he undeniably had, was bound to happen.

"Oikawa!" A deep, yet youthful voice made him look up, and he headed to the direction from which the voice came, and to where the owner of the voice was standing.

"Kunimi," he hissed as his lips curved into a smile, pleased with the sight of his former teammate. At Kunimi's back were two young lads: one raven-haired boy flashing a stoic look and a vibrant looking guy, beaming at him while brushing his bright orange locks.

"Finally! You're here!" Shōyō exclaimed lowering his vodka martini in the table as he approached Oikawa.

"Hi there shrimpy!" Oikawa beamed, averting his gaze from Hinata to Kageyama. "What's with that look? I'm already here, Tobio-chan!"

"You jerk!" Kageyama smacked his left shoulder eliciting a wince of pain from Oikawa. "You're still mean as ever!" Oi retorted.

"I thought you'd never come!" Kunimi grunted, arching his brow and crossing his arms in front of him.

Oikawa chuckled nervously as he spoke, "I thought so, too."

"But hey, I couldn't miss Daichi and Suga's wedding! Speaking of, where are they?"

"There!" Hinata pointed at the two and Oikawa immediately excused himself as he headed towards them.

A soothing genre of music from the orchestra enveloped the atmosphere and the guests started dancing, crowding the centermost part of the bay.

Oikawa just chuckled as he snapped his fingers to the beat, not losing sight of the newly-wedded couple.

"Hey, lovebirds!" Oikawa greeted, catching the attention of the two, who acknowledged his presence warmly.

"Captain! Nice to see you!" Daichi happily exclaimed as he enveloped Oikawa into a brotherly hug.

"Nice to see you too, Captain!"

"I thought you'd never come, Oi." The soft-spoken Sugawara sighed in relief.

"Of course I'd come! It's your big day! Congratulations you two!" He squealed like a three-year old child as he extended his present to the couple.

"Congratulations as well on your game yesterday! You're still conditioned as ever! Fifty excellent sets in a three-set match? Just another day in the office for Oikawa Tōru." Daichi lauded as Oikawa chuckled heartily.

"I'm so glad that you're still living up to the 'Great King' moniker! You are really making us setters proud!" Sugawara stated, earning a series of chuckles from Daichi and Oikawa.

"Excuse me sir! Milk bread for Oikawa Tōru!" A jolly dark-toned young man wearing a fancy waiter's outfit butted in with a plate of milk bread on his serving tray, much to Oikawa's delight.

"Wow!" Oikawa exclaimed. "You two were surely expecting me! Even including my favorite meal in the menu!"

Daichi and Sugawara exchanged uneasy looks as Oikawa munched on his milk bread happily.

"Oi! That's not on the menu." Daichi confided. "Maybe there's someone who ordered it for you."

Oikawa's brows arched as he pouted his lips. "Who would order a milk bread especially for me at your wedding?" He asked the two disbelievingly as they shrugged their shoulders and chuckled.

"Hi." A deep voice coming from behind swooped in, making Oikawa's eyes widen. He didn't realize that he already dropped the milk bread he was holding which was now covered in the fine white sands of the beach.

The beating of his heart lurched into a stop. He felt everything around him freeze. The deep and calm voice was immediately recognized by his senses.

He didn't need to turn around to know who the owner of the voice was. He knew, and he knew because it was the very same voice that was with him through all the highs and lows in his life.

It was his constant source of strength. And after three years, he didn't know that the very same voice would still have the same effect on him as it did at the very beginning.

Oikawa's jaw clenched, and his fists balled up so tightly that he was sure his nails would leave imprints on his palms. And with all the hatred he felt for him for the last three years, he spat out his name like poison.

_"Iwaizumi Hajime."_


	2. Raging Nerves and Unsettling Jitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi and Oikawa play their last game in middle school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, and the next few ones will be flashbacks.

Oikawa's eyes squinted as he adjusted to the blinding spotlights situated at the arena's ceilings.

The noise was surely deafening and he couldn't help his gaze pacing hastily around the arena. Not a single chair was left unoccupied in the bleachers. It was a sea of dark blue and white in the left part and the colors of the opposing team dominated the right.

It was a series of kaleidoscopic events. Fans were cheering and jeering their hearts out, the sport has really reached the limelight with each generation of players setting up the stage for the upcoming ones.

Volleyball is a team sport with six players playing inside the court. But with the atmosphere enveloping the arena's premises, both teams felt like they have found their seventh man in their respective crowds.

The umpire blew his whistle, making Oikawa cringe faintly. It signaled the start of his eight-second allowance to figure out where he's going to put and what kind of serve he's going to make.

Oikawa heaved a deep breath, his surrounding slowed in motion as he scouted the six players on the other side of the court.

 _Where?_ He whispered to himself as his gaze met Daichi Sawamura. _Of course not!_ He mentally admonished as he chuckled at his own silliness. True enough, he can't give his serve - no matter how powerful it is - to Daichi, he has always been a steady defensive player for his team.

When you serve, always give it to the weakest link and in this case, it's not Sawamura.

The match between Kitagawa Daiichi and Izumitate Junior High is extended to a five-setter. Each team pushing the other to the brink of defeat, but not one of them thought of ever holding back.

A championship would mean a prize for the seniors as they move on to High School, and Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Daichi, and Ikejiri all knew this.

Since it's the final set, it's a race to fifteen points. But the scoreboard reads 14-14. A deuce. One team has to lead the other by two to bag the championship for themselves.

Oikawa was ready to toss the ball high enough for his signature jump serve, his peripheral vision caught the glimpse of a dark-haired boy. His disheveled locks fitting his looks perfectly.

Iwaizumi Hajime smiled at his best friend reassuringly, it was a smile that calmed down Oikawa's raging nerves and unsettling jitters. The moment Iwaizumi smiled at him, Oikawa knew everything will be alright.

Oikawa swung his arms backward and lunged directly at the ball, arching his back for maximum power, using his left hand as pointer and guide for him to make the perfect serve.

He grunted through gritted teeth as he looked at the opposing team's libero passing his powerful serve flawlessly.

The other team was able to execute a nice play, but Kitagawa Daiichi's defensive ace kept Izumitate from scoring.

The ball was high up and Oikawa positioned himself for the set. He eyed Iwaizumi, and it was as if their hearts spoke to each other, no verbal language was needed, their strong bond and connection spoke for themselves.

Oikawa tossed the ball up high and Iwaizumi went for the kill. But the blockers read him very well, his attack was converted into the other team's point courtesy of the defensive end.

A look of frustration was plastered on Oikawa's face. His heartbeat more frantic than before. The other team is now at championship point.

"Sorry Iwa-chan. Was the toss high enough?" Oikawa muttered softly as he hung his head low.

"No Shittykawa! I just messed up my timing, I picked up the ball late that's why I was under it, making it harder for me to penetrate the block. The toss was good as always, but in the next play, give me a B-quick!" Iwaizumi instructed, pumping his fists due to sheer excitement.

Oikawa stared at his best friend in awe, admiring the tenacity and the confidence oozing from Iwaizumi. "We'll get that point back Oi, we got this!" Iwa's hand landed on his left shoulder and Oikawa couldn't help but look at it as he flushed bright red.

"Yeah, we can." He replied calmly as he shrugged the unwanted thoughts away.

Sawamura was on deck serving and luckily, it was a safe serve which the libero received easily.

Iwaizumi hid himself behind the sophomore who's going in for a quick. He ran past him as the ball landed on Oikawa's palm and jumped right behind him, achieving the B-quick he asked a while ago.

The arena erupted as the scoreboard hit deuce again. Iwaizumi lunged directly at the chocolote-haired lad and lauded his toss.

Oikawa chuckled nervously as he shifted his weight on both his legs, trying to balance himself while Iwaizumi was on top of him.

"Let's score some more, Oi!" Iwa exclaimed encouragingly, much to Oikawa's delight.

Iwaizumi noticed that Oikawa was quivering while he was up front waiting for his teammate to serve. He knew there's a lot of pressure in Oikawa's sleeves right now, and the sight of him uncomfortable made him feel the same as well.

He grabbed Oikawa's hand in a comforting manner and squeezed it gently, calming him down for the nth time. He saw Oikawa flush bright red and he found it cute.

 _No need to worry. We'll finish this together._ He thought, never letting go of Oikawa's hand and his gaze.

The next few minutes passed by so fast that Oikawa lost track of what was happening. The next thing he knew, white confetti showered in the arena like a swarm of butterflies. The loud beating of the drums brought by the cheering squad echoed louder and louder as each second passed by.

His face landed on Iwaizumi's chest as his best friend enveloped him in a tight hug. It sure was what he needed after everything they've been through to get here.

They've done it. They won the championship. They defeated Izumitate in the finals.

"We did it Shittykawa! We did it!" Tears brimmed Iwa's eyes as he chuckled heartily, still not letting go of Oikawa.

"Iwa-chan! Oikawa! Senpais! Thank you!" Their underclassmen approached the two seniors and lowered their heads out of gratitude and respect.

"No, thank you!" The two exclaimed in unison and the team gathered for a huddle.

They were greeted by lots of supporters in their way out of the arena and into their shuttle. Extending their greetings to them for being the champions.

Iwaizumi hastily sat down the window-side, leaving Oikawa pouting. "Iwa-chan! I want to sit by the window!"

Oikawa's whine elicited a chuckle from him, "No Oi, I was here first!" He said firmly but in a joking manner.

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa squealed like a baby and Iwaizumi chuckled even more. He stood up in defeat, giving space to Oikawa as he sat by the window.

"I really can't resist your baby antics. You're like my baby!" Iwaizumi exclaimed making Oikawa flush bright red.

He sure can't understand his best friend. This is probably one of the rare events where he displays his soft facade. Iwaizumi was always mean to him, but nonetheless, he deeply cared for Oikawa.

"No, I'm not a baby!" Oikawa rolled his eyes at him and Iwaizumi scooted closer, Oikawa can now smell his perfume, still clinging to him after the grueling match.

"Sometimes you are. Sometimes you become my baby." He teased and Oikawa wasn't sure if he gave emphasis on the 'my baby' part or not.

Being this close to Iwaizumi made Oikawa feel something unusual. He felt giddy and an exhilarating feeling swooped inside. He couldn't understand what it was, he couldn't formulate and put it into words. But he is sure that he was happy. So happy.

They were interrupted when Iwaizumi's phone beeped. It was a message from his mom, and he opened it immediately.

 _"Congratulations son! You did it! Bring Oikawa with you here at home! His parents are here, we need to celebrate!"_ Iwaizumi read the message softly but audible enough for Oikawa to hear.

"Yehey!" The boy on his left squealed and he eyed him stoically. "Stop being so cute!" Iwaizumi hissed and Oikawa's eyes widened, much to the delight of Iwaizumi.

Him being caught off guard and left dumbfounded was Iwaizumi's guilty pleasure. It's very rare to see him like that, because he was always messy and annoying.

The ride was long and quiet inside the shuttle and Iwaizumi unconsciously rested his head on Oikawa's shoulder. A smile crept up on his face as he saw his best friend, sleeping soundly by his side.


	3. The Best in Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two suddenly got emotional when they thought they're gonna go separate ways in High School.

Oikawa shut his eyes and covered both his ears with his hands - his actions were brought upon by the loud clanging in the room.

His eyes widened as he saw the shards of glass scattered all over the floor. "Oikawa-kun? Are you all right there, Honey?" Iwaizumi's mom asked with a hint of concern in her voice.

"Yes Iwaizumi-san, I'm perfectly fine. I just broke a wine glass here. Sorry!" He assured her as he stooped down and began to gather the fragments in his hand.

"You should be more careful next time dear!" He heard his mom shout from the dining area and Oikawa just chuckled at his own clumsiness.

"Shit!" He cussed under his breath as he squeezed his index finger, staring blankly at the cut one of the fragments made.

He heard footsteps heading towards the kitchen until in peripheral vision, he caught the sight of his best friend, standing right behind him.

Iwaizumi bent down to Oikawa's level and gently grabbed his wounded finger. "Let me see." He hissed as he looked at Oikawa's cut, a look of concern written all over his face.

Oikawa was caught off guard when Iwaizumi sipped the little amount of blood coming from the cut. "You should be more careful next time," he reprimanded. His stern voice sending chills down Oikawa's spine.

"Why are you so clumsy?" Iwaizumi arched his brows as his met Oikawa's gaze, the latter was just staring back at him, unable to utter a single word.

Iwaizumi reached for the first aid kit in his far-left, taking out wads of cotton and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. Oikawa grimaced at the sight of the alcohol and started whining like a child.

"Iwa-chan! No alcohol!" Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at Oikawa's expense as he moistened a ball of cotton with the liquid. "Iwa!" Oikawa squealed again in a pleading manner, earning a glare from the boy in front of him.

Iwaizumi dabbed and brushed the cotton gently against the wound, tears already threatened to fall from Oikawa's hazel eyes. "You blow! You blow!" Oikawa sniffed as his vision became blurry with his tears.

"Okay, okay geez!" Iwa let out a huff of annoyance as he agreed to Oikawa's request. "Quit whining like a baby. It's very irritating!"

"You're so mean!" Oikawa retorted, wiping the tears away with his other hand. "You're so mean! Nye nye!" Iwa mocked, as he earned a disappointed look from Oikawa.

Iwaizumi helped Oikawa stand up as he finished cleaning up the mess he made a while ago. Oikawa just stared at him blankly, unable to hide the shock and the eerie feeling he felt due to Iwaizumi's unexpectedly sweet actions.

"C'mon, let's finish dinner." Oikawa followed his best friend back to the dining area where they found their parents still conversing on various topics.

"Took you long enough." Oikawa's father joshed, a smug look on his face. Oikawa and Iwaizumi sat across each other as they finished the food left on their plates.

"So, what are your plans for High School Iwaizumi-kun?" Oikawa's mother asked.

"I plan to go to Aobajōsai, Oikawa-san!" The young lad beamed, showing feelings of excitement.

"Wow! That's another powerhouse school!" Oikawa's mom squealed. "So you'll be going separate ways for the first time eh?" She added, averting her gaze from Iwaizumi to her son.

Iwaizumi's eyes widened at her statement as he eyed his best friend, his look asking for confirmation.

"Oikawa here is thinking of going to Shiratorizawa! He passed the test he took last week and their volleyball club is already expecting his services." Oikawa's father stated.

Oikawa saw Iwaizumi as he hung his head low, a look of disappointment plastered on his face. "Mom, Dad I-I still have to think about it. I'm not sure yet." Oikawa replied, not taking his gaze off the young boy across him.

Iwaizumi's expression remain unchanged. It looked like he was trying to internalize and process everything he just heard. "That's sad. I thought you guys will be together 'till college." Iwa's mom divulged, patting Iwaizumi's back in a comforting manner.

"E-Excuse me for a second." Iwaizumi spoke softly but it was audible enough for all of them to hear.

His feet led him to the pool side - moonlight illuminated its waters, making it sparkle a little bit. He sat along its rim and dipped his feet in the lukewarm waters.

Iwaizumi felt a pang in his chest. The thought of him and Oikawa separating for the first time was just too much to take in. He had always been his confidant. He saw him grow into the guy that he is right now.

He was with him through all their ups and downs and frankly, Iwaizumi cared for him more than he cared for himself. He did almost everything with him - with Oikawa by his side. He protected him from his bullies way back, he was a big brother to him. In fact, he treated him as more than that.

It couldn't be denied that Oikawa got most of the benefits in their friendship, but to hell with that. He didn't care. He loved what they had. He loved every single bit of it.

He loved protecting Oikawa. Keeping him safe and sound all the time became Iwaizumi's habit through the years aside from playing volleyball. Oikawa's happiness equates to his' anyway.

He had this strong connection with him, and not just because they've known each other since practically the dawn of time, but because they had a common ground; they were very passionate about the sport they loved.

The thought of them separating for the first time made him very sentimental. It would mean that he'd lose the one person he has always looked out for. It was equivalent of losing a part of himself.

Oikawa may be annoying given his childish antics, but boy, those childish antics were Iwaizumi's happy pill. They would always lift his mood during his bad days. He may look annoyed and irritated on the outside, but deep inside, his feelings would tell him otherwise.

"You didn't finish dinner." Oikawa's soft voice sent tingling sensations to him. The chocolate-haired guy sat beside him and stared aimlessly at the night sky. "It's so beautiful." He remarked, earning a faint chuckle from Iwaizumi.

"It sure is!"

Silence enveloped them and provided them a quiet, comforting atmosphere. Neither of them mustered a single word. They were just listening to each other's heartbeats, their skin pressed against each other.

They could hear the wind blowing, and the chirping sounds emanating from the crickets around them.

"So..." Iwaizumi stopped midway through his sentence, trying to find the right words to say, "...g-good luck in Shiratorizawa! You'll make their team even more formidable."

Oikawa chuckled heartily, earning dagger looks from his best friend. "I'm not going there Iwa-chan! Don't be silly!"

"What? What do you mean you're not going? You'll bolster their roster! You'll easily emerge as champions! That's your dream!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

"That's _our_ dream." Oikawa corrected, giving emphasis on the word 'our'. "Any championship that isn't shared with you is worth nothing to me, Iwa-chan. I want _u_ s to be champions, not just me, and I want _us_ to fulfill _our_ dreams, _together...like we always do._ "

Iwaizumi didn't know whether he should feel happy or disappointed with what he just heard. "Your mom said–"

"I don't care what mom said. I just know that I'm not going there." Oikawa said with finality.

"W-Why?"

 _"Because you're not going there with me."_ He confided. An expression of both shock and disbelief struck Iwaizumi's face.

"I want to be with you. I want to be on the same side of the court as you. I just want that, and nothing else." Oikawa smiled as he looked at Iwaizumi, his face still disoriented.

"W-What are you saying you dumbass? Of course you'll go there! It's not everyday that a big opportunity like this knocks on your door! Turning down the offer would be absurd!" Iwaizumi exclaimed through gritted teeth, his expression softened when he saw Oikawa's disappointed and sad look.

"D-Don't you want to be with me in High School, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked, heaving a deep sigh as he waited patiently for his answer.

"Of course I want to be with you..." Iwaizumi stared at his reflection in the water. "...but what's best for you is always the top priority, Oi!"

_"Playing with you is what's best for me Iwa-chan. You bring out the best in me. I realized that earlier, when I almost messed up, but your gesture calmed me."_

"What gesture?" Iwaizumi's expression was blank. His best friend shook his head in disbelief as he let out a huff of annoyance.

"The gesture!" Oikawa rolled his eyes which irritated Iwa. "Could you be more vague?" He retaliated with a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

"W-When you h-held my..." Oikawa stopped midway, indecisive as to whether he should finish his sentence or leave Iwaizumi hanging.

"When I held your what?!" Iwaizumi groaned, growing impatient. "Geez Shittykawa! You need to learn to finish your sentences!"

"When you held my hand you idiot!" Oikawa glared at him, making Iwaizumi cringe. "Since when did you become slow at picking up? Don't make me say it because it's so..."

"It's so what?" Iwaizumi was still oblivious as ever.

"AWKWARD!" Oikawa exclaimed as he nudged Iwa's arm.

"Oh," was all Iwaizumi could muster at the moment.

"I almost lost my sanity back there! But thanks to that little gesture of yours, I was able to regain composure! You see, being with you is what's best for me, Iwa-chan. Please don't fail to realize that." Oikawa sighed, leaving Iwa staring at him in awe.

Iwaizumi tucked a few longer strands of Oikawa's hair behind his ear. "Don't waste a big opportunity, Oi."

 _"I wouldn't label something as an opportunity especially if it keeps me away from you."_ Oikawa said subconsciously, making Iwaizumi pull him into a tight hug.

"You made me so happy tonight!" Iwaizumi confided as he broke free from the hug. Oikawa's red face changed his delighted expression immediately into a puzzled one, "Why are you blushing? It's so gay!"

"Eh? You're the one who went all sentimental just because you thought we'd be going our separate ways in high school. Who's gay now, Hajime?" Oikawa joshed.

"Shut up, Crappykawa!" He retorted, earning a chuckle from his best friend. They shared a few good laughs by the pool-side and eventually they lost track of time. They always had the best times in their lives when they were together.

 _"You know, sometimes I think that there's something going on between those two; something deeper, something beyond their friendship."_ Oikawa's mother remarked as she and Iwaizumi's mom both watched the two from a distance.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right!" Iwaizumi's mom agreed. The two of them laughed at the thought as they headed back inside the house.


	4. Team Outing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the team's victory outing, and something unfortunate happened in the end.

"No, you can't Kunimi! This seat is reserved for Oikawa!" Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at the rookie for the nth time that day. The freshman was convincing Iwaizumi to let him sit beside him for fifteen minutes already.

"Oikawa senpai is probably not coming! It's thirty minutes past 9:00, and we're supposed to be here by 8:30. He's an hour late already!" Kunimi twiddled with his fingers and stared aimlessly at his feet, as if there was something interesting down there.

Iwaizumi pursed his lips at the thought as his eyes fluttered close in frustration. _Where the hell is that idiot?!_ He thought, slightly massaging his temples.

"Iwaizumi-senpai! Please let me sit beside you!" Kunimi's voice faltered as tears brimmed his chinky eyes. The sight made Iwaizumi feel guilty, but he was adamant that Oikawa is coming and that the seat beside him should only be reserved for him.

"For the last time, Kunimi: no!" Iwaizumi snapped, making Kunimi cringe a little bit. "Oikawa is coming, and he's sitting beside me!"

The freshman just sighed in defeat as he trudged his way towards the end of the shuttle, sitting beside Kageyama Tobio, another first year student in Kitagawa Daiichi.

"What happened back there?" Kageyama asked as he eyed Kunimi, who was embarrassed in front of his teammates a while ago.

"Iwaizumi-san won't let me sit beside him. He still thinks Oikawa-senpai is coming." Kunimi replied in a faint voice, but it was still audible enough for Kageyama to hear.

Kageyama scratched his nape as he arched his brows at Kunimi, "Why don't you want to sit at the back anyway? Do you have a problem with me?!"

Kunimi's eyes widened as he shook his head vehemently, "No! It's nothing like that Kageyama-kun, I just get dizzy when I sit at the far-end of the shuttle. I might throw up on the way."

Kageyama's expression was distorted at the thought of Kunimi throwing up. He immediately stood up and shouted at Iwaizumi from the back, "Oi! Iwaizumi-senpai! Please let Kunimi sit at the front. He says he gets dizzy when he sits at the back and might throw up!"

Indistinct chatters filled the atmosphere of the shuttle, repulse was evident in all of their faces because of what Kageyama said.

"Fine! You two, transfer here! Oikawa and I are sitting in the back!" Iwaizumi grabbed his backpack as he headed towards the back of the shuttle. He was already cursing Oikawa mentally as of the moment.

"Is everyone here? We're about to leave in a few minutes!" A tall yet slouchy guy entered their ride. He was already in his tank top and Hawaiian shorts.

Kitagawa Daiichi's team manager took out his notebook and started checking the team's attendance. "Oikawa Tōru? Is Oikawa Tōru here?"

"Not yet sensei..." Iwaizumi replied through gritted teeth as he rested his head on the headrest.

"What do you mean 'not yet' Iwaizumi-kun? It's almost 10:00, if he's not here in fifteen minutes, we're leaving him!" The manager exclaimed firmly, making Iwaizumi jump off his seat.

"Fifteen minutes you say, Sensei?" He asked, and the slouchy man nodded his head in response.

Iwaizumi ran as fast as he could off the shuttle and headed out of the campus. _It's a weekday, Oikawa's probably in his apartment right now, and not in their house._ He thought to himself as he focused his attention on the road.

Oikawa's apartment was six blocks away from the school and Iwaizumi arrived there in a jiffy. He took the key from under the doormat and hastily shoved it inside the keyhole, unlocking the door, and headed upstairs to where Oikawa's room was.

Iwaizumi barged in without even knocking and what he saw enraged him more. Oikawa was still in his nighties and under his duvet, sleeping.

Iwaizumi fumed red as he dove into the bed, strangling Oikawa, finally waking him up. "HOW COULD YOU NOT WAKE UP EARLY, YOU IDIOT?!" Iwaizumi snapped as Oikawa tried to get Iwa off of him.

"I-Iwa-chan...I-I can't..." Oikawa was having difficulties in finishing his sentence as Iwaizumi's well-toned arms tightened around his neck.

Iwaizumi finally loosened his arms around Oikawa as the chocolate-haired lad started to turn faint purple. Both of them were panting and catching their breaths already.

"ARE YOU GOING TO KILL ME?!" Oikawa exclaimed as Iwaizumi threw dagger looks at him.

"You're lucky I didn't." He replied coolly as he stood up and placed his arms on his waist. "Why are you still in bed, Shittykawa?"

"So? Why should I be out of bed early, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa cocked his brow as he crossed his arms in front of him, but his expression softened when he saw Iwaizumi glare at him madly.

"It's the team's outing today, you idiot!" Iwaizumi grabbed the pillow nearest to him and threw it to Oikawa, which he was able to evade.

"Oh..." Oikawa's brows arched as he thought deeply, "...that's today?"

"Yes, you idiot!" Iwaizumi threw his signature dagger looks at Oikawa, who seemed very much affected by it. If looks could kill, Oikawa would have been dead by the moment.

"Give me a moment. I'll just pack my things and take a shower." Oikawa said calmly, as he searched for some beach attires.

"No! You freshen up, I'll pack your clothes, and be quick!" Iwaizumi exclaimed as he reached for Oikawa's favorite backpack on top of the cabinet.

Oikawa was glued on his feet as a wide smile crept up his face, feeling ecstatic at what he just heard. "You'd seriously pack for me, Iwa-chan?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes, so you better hurry!" Iwaizumi checked his wrist-watch, and let out a huff of annoyance. "We only have seven minutes left to catch the shuttle. They'll leave us if we don't get there in seven minutes."

"Yes, sir." Oikawa rushed to the bathroom and took a quick shower. He was humming a mellow tone and enjoying his bath when he heard Iwaizumi shout from the other room, telling him to shower faster.

Oikawa changed into clean clothes and went downstairs where he found Iwa sitting impatiently on the couch. "Let's go!" The spiky-haired guy exclaimed as Oikawa grabbed the bag of chips nearest to him.

The two made it on time and climbed aboard the shuttle, going to their seats in the back. Oikawa was clearly enjoying the view while Iwaizumi was busy playing his favorite game on his phone; Oikawa noticed this after a short while and he nudged his arm faintly.

"Can I play?" He asked politely and Iwaizumi remained silent, eyes still focused on his phone. "Iwa-chan!"

"Don't talk to me." He emphasized every word he uttered, which annoyed Oikawa a bit.

"I'm sorry that I forgot about all of this." Oikawa pouted, playing with a few strands of his hair. Iwaizumi chose to ignore him, which made him gloomy for the rest of the trip.

They arrived at their destination and the whole team shrieked in delight. Most of them scrambled out of the shuttle and into the bay.

The second-year players, the team's troublemakers were already submerged in the cool waters. Some of them were playing, and some were paying close attention to the girls in their summer bikinis. They looked like psychotic perverts as a matter of fact.

The first years, namely Kageyama, Kunimi and Kindaichi were just observing the place and appreciating the ambience and the fine weather they had for the day.

"Let's go, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa shrieked as he pulled Iwaizumi by his wrist, his eyes still glued on his phone.

Oikawa felt a little bit of disappointment when Iwaizumi took his hand from his grip, giving him cold glares. "Don't touch me Tōru!"

Oikawa figured that he might be serious about this 'silent treatment' thing because Iwaizumi rarely calls him by his first name. He sighed as his eyes became watery.

"Oy! Team! Place your stuff in your respective rooms. I already checked us in!" The team manager shouted from afar, and the volleyball team rushed into the beach house, except for the second-years who had to change into dry clothes first.

"Iwaizumi-kun! Since you and Oikawa-kun are the seniors, you two get a separate room, the room smaller than ours, the rest of us will be staying together in the bigger one." The team manager beamed as he gave the key to Iwaizumi who was a bit hesitant in accepting it.

Oikawa who overheard the conversation smiled. The smile faltered however when he saw Iwaizumi who looked disappointed.

"Can't I stay with you guys? Oikawa will be fine in the other room." Iwaizumi replied nonchalantly as he averted his gaze from their manager to Oikawa, who was twiddling with his fingers, pretending that he didn't hear a thing he just said.

"No, the decision's final and irrevocable." The team manager said with finality, as he turned his attention to the rest of the team.

Iwaizumi headed upstairs with Oikawa following close behind. There was an eerie silence between the two of them, not one of them uttering a single word.

 _Iwa-chan is just so mean! He picked me at my house personally just to give me this silent treatment. He's just so mean!_ Oikawa thought to himself, swallowing the lump forming in his throat and trying his very best not to shed a single tear.

He was busy thinking what he did wrong that he tripped on one of the steps and fell forward, knocking Iwaizumi who was in front of him.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Iwaizumi fumed red, engulfed in rage, as he pushed Oikawa aside.

"Gomenasai! Iwa-chan! I'm too clumsy!" Oikawa's eyes fluttered to a close as he quivered in fear.

"J-Just be careful next time." Iwaizumi, who was caught off guard at the sight of Oikawa shaking, just shrugged his anger away and continued to trudge his way up to their room.

"Iwa-chan, do you have sunblock?" Oikawa asked nicely, as he looked at Iwaizumi, who was placing his stuff inside the closet.

"Why would I bring sunblock?" Iwaizumi asked nonchalantly and Oikawa realized that Iwaizumi can be very stupid sometimes.

"To protect your skin from the sun?" He replied, a hint of sarcasm evident in his tone.

"I said no! I don't have sunblock!"

"Why are you so mean? Why are you not talking to me?" Oikawa pouted like a child, as Iwaizumi started to change into his beach clothes.

"H-Hey! Don't strip in front of me!" Oikawa remarked, covering his eyes with both his hands.

"You're a guy! Stop reacting like a sissy!" Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at him for the nth time and Oikawa started with his childish antics again.

"Why are you so mean?" He asked one more time.

"Why do you talk so much?" Iwaizumi trudged his way to the door and outside the beach house. He dove into the sea himself and had fun with his other teammates.

Oikawa was left at the shorelines, playing with the sands.

The day went by fast for the recently crowned champions of the Junior League. A week had passed since they bagged their championship, but the thought of it still hasn't sunk in for most of them.

The day went by with Iwaizumi not talking to Oikawa, despite the latter's efforts to reach out to the other boy.

It was already dark outside and the team decided to build a bonfire, sing camping songs from their camping experiences and share a few good jokes and stories with each other. Oikawa, on the other hand, was very sad as he stared blankly at his marshmallows, which almost melted because of their close contact with the heat.

A few moments later, he stood up and dusted the specks of sand off his shorts. He went to Iwaizumi's side who noticed his presence and started giving him mean looks.

"What?!" Iwaizumi snapped, irritated by Oikawa's presence. "Let's go get some ice cream!"

"Why don't you go get ice cream yourself?" Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and Oikawa hung his head low.

"Can you at least come with me?" Oikawa spoke softly, but it was audible enough for Iwaizumi to hear. He scratched his nape as he patiently waited for Iwaizumi's answer.

"You can do it. You're big already." He said nonchalantly, and Oikawa was left with no choice but to go by himself.

He turned the knob and opened the door of the freezer room. He let out a faint _'woah'_ when he found out how big and cold it was inside.

It was his first time in a freezer room and he couldn't help but feel giddy. He grabbed a few pints of ice cream. All their expenses will be shouldered by the school as a reward for them, anyway.

Oikawa's jaw dropped at the sight of the door knob knocked off its place. It was lying on the floor and Oikawa immediately dropped the pints and grabbed the knob, trying to attach it again.

His actions were to no avail and he started panicking. He is trapped inside a spacious room, for Pete's sake, and the temperature probably dropping to zero degrees.

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!" Oikawa started screaming in panic, but it seems that no one from the staff was in the vicinity.

He continued to shout for help until he finally gave up. His whole body shuddered as the cold started to bother him.


	5. Words Left Unspoken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi is starting to acknowledge the feelings he has for Oikawa.

Iwaizumi smiled as he watched his teammates have fun. Playing with them was surely an emotional rollercoaster. After two years of being on the losing end, they've finally won a championship.

Iwaizumi could still recall their last match in great detail. He could still feel the feeling of fulfillment whenever he scored or whenever he saw someone from his team step up.

Iwaizumi could still recall how shaky he felt while executing  his serves. He could still recall the jittery feeling of being under pressure.

He could still recall how pumped up they were whenever their crowd cheers. He can still recall every huddle, every time out, and every pre-game ritual they had.

It was as if the championship match had happened yesterday.

A smile crept up his face as he relished every single moment of that match. It was grueling, it was very challenging - but it was worth it.

Iwaizumi opened the bag of chips next to him and realized it was the one Oikawa brought earlier. His face immediately distorted when Oikawa's presence was nowhere to be felt. He hadn't come back yet, and Iwaizumi started to grow weary.

"Iwaizumi-senpai!" Iwaizumi came back to his senses when Kindaichi called for his attention. "I was wondering if you could grab a can of soda for me inside the cooler," the first-year student asked politely.

"Thanks." Kindaichi flashed a huge grin at his senior as he opened the soda can, causing it to emit a hissing sound. He was quite enjoying the night with his fellow freshmen Kunimi and Kageyama. The three of them were talking about last week's championship and other stuff that had something to do with volleyball.

Iwaizumi pursed his lips as his mind began to wander again. His heartbeat started to beat frantically, an eerie feeling swooping inside of him. He couldn't put a finger on it but he knew there was something wrong happening at the moment.

His thoughts were cut off when their team manager sat beside him. He was wearing a hot pink summer hat, and a pair of sunnies on, even though it was already night time.

"Are you enjoying all of this, Hajime?" The team manager asked in his flirty voice, his hand caressing Iwaizumi's leg. Iwa looked at the hand touching him with a disdainful expression. He never liked the presence of their gay-ish and perverted manager.

"Uh...yeah!" Iwaizumi replied awkwardly as he swallowed the lump forming in his throat, cold sweats starting to drip from his body.

"So..." The manager let out a faint chuckle, as he ran his fingers in circles on Iwa's legs; his actions gave Iwaizumi chills because he knew he was already harassed, "...I guess you didn't want to share a room with Oikawa, right? What if I just share the separate room with you?"

Iwaizumi's eyes widened as he quickly got up to his feet, "I-I prefer Oikawa, sensei. Excuse me!"

He trudged his way back to the beach house when he heard their manager shout from the back, "Where are you going Hajime?!"

"I'm just going to get Oikawa!" He replied, as he mentally cursed himself and the team manager. He knew he should've left the moment he arrived.

Iwaizumi didn't know where he was going, so he just allowed his feet to take him anywhere inside the beach house until he remembered what he said. _Right, I have to get that idiot! He's been gone for too long!_ He said to himself as he approached the blonde receptionist, who flashed a flirty and demure smile.

 _Why is there always someone trying to flirt with me everywhere I go?_ He rolled his eyes at the thought and tried to look polite in front of the receptionist.

"Can I ask where can I get some ice creams here?" He tried to sound courteous but the irritating feeling failed him.

"It's at the end of the lobby, sir. Just go left and you'll find the freezer rooms," the blonde girl replied, and Iwaizumi quickly followed the directions she said.

"Oikawa, you bastard!" He tried to call for him when he was already in front of the freezer room. "Oikawa!"

Iwaizumi grabbed the knob when he didn't hear any response, only to find out it was locked. "Hey, Shittykawa! Are you there? Answer me!"

Iwaizumi started to feel cold as he grew weary. He could already hear his heartbeat as each second passed by without hearing any response from Oikawa. He didn't know if the chocolate-haired guy was just playing some joke on him, or he could be in trouble.

"Oikawa! Answer me! It's not funny anymore!" He shouted one more time as he scooted closer to the door, leaning his left ear on it.

"I-Iwa-chan...h-help!" His eyes widened in shock when he heard a faint voice, the owner of which was probably Oikawa.

"OH CRAP!" Iwaizumi cussed when he realized his best friend has been locked inside for quite some time now. He started to panic, all ideas abandoning him. He had a light bulb moment when the janitor passed by with a mop on his hands.

Without asking permission, he grabbed the mop from him, his actions startling the beach house personnel, and making him scratch the back of his head. With all his might, Iwaizumi yanked the knob off the door and quickly opened the freezer room. An expression of both shock and anxiety struck the janitor's and his face.

Oikawa's whole body shuddered, and he was as pale as snow, lying almost lifeless on the floor. Iwaizumi quickly bent down to his level and grabbed both his hands, rubbing them against his and warming them with his breath. "O-Oi! Stay with me!" He said to him faintly, as he averted his gaze from Oikawa to the janitor who was still glued to one spot, looking at them with anguish.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?! GO GET SOME HELP!" Iwaizumi snapped, startling the janitor as he scampered on his way to get some assistance.

"Oi! You better not pass out, you idiot!" Iwaizumi enveloped his arms around him, squeezing himself tightly to Oikawa, sending off some body heat. "Shit!" He started to grow impatient and wanted to get help himself, but he couldn't just leave his best friend freezing to death.

"I'm sorry! I should've come with you!" He was already feeling remorse, and his heartbeat went even more ballistic than earlier.

"Iwa-chan..." Oikawa called out and Iwaizumi looked at him tenderly,  concern evident in his eyes. Oikawa smiled at him, as his eyes started to flutter close.

"Why are you smiling you idiot?!" Iwaizumi arched his brow as he gently slapped Oikawa's cheeks. "Hey! Don't pass out!"

"Grrr!" Iwaizumi groaned, as he carried Oikawa gently in his arms, exiting the room and heading towards the reception area, where he saw paramedics also coming their way.

"Help him!" He shouted as the resort's medical assistants took Oikawa from him, placing him on the stretcher.

The whole team entered the main building, all looking worried for their senpai. "What happened?" Their coach approached and asked Iwaizumi, who was still mad at what happened to Oikawa.

"He got locked in the freezer room for a couple of minutes, Coach." He replied through gritted teeth as his jaws clenched, balling his fists tightly.

"WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?!" He snapped at the staff, who were all gathered in the main lobby after what happened. "NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU HEARD HIM SCREAMING FOR HELP?! WHAT KIND OF WORKERS ARE YOU?!" Iwaizumi finally lost his temper as tears started to brim his eyes.

"S-Sorry, sir, it will never happen again." The receptionist started to quiver as her voice broke midway.

Their coach tried to calm Iwaizumi down, but his actions were to no avail when the young boy's expression remained unchanged. His teammates and manager saw how angry he was as well, so all of them maintained a safe distance from him.

"If something happens to him, I'm going to talk to the owner of this resort and tell him how irresponsible his employees were!" Iwaizumi pointed his finger at all of them, sounding authoritative. The crew apologized one more time to the team and their coach as they continued on to their respective duties.

Iwaizumi ran his hands down his face, cupping it in sheer frustration as he sat down on one of the couches. He saw his coach talking to the receptionist, asking pardon for the scandal. _Crap! This wouldn't have happened to him if I was there._ He thought, mentally cursing himself. He came back to his senses when he felt a hand pat his shoulder. He turned his head to the side and saw Kageyama Tobio, smiling at him in hopes of comforting his senior.

"He'll be fine, Senpai." Iwaizumi uttered a soft 'thanks' as Kageyama went back to his teammates, sitting at the long couch with their manager.

After a few minutes, he decided to go to the infirmary where Oikawa was, and the nurse told him that Oikawa will be spending the night in there. Iwaizumi went to their room, freshened up and changed into clean clothes before heading to the infirmary again, deciding to stay by Oikawa's side until he wakes up.

**•••**

"Ugh!" Oikawa let out a soft grunt as his hand landed on his head. It was pounding really hard and the pain was really tormenting. He tried to recall what happened last night and remembered how his head felt like it was freezing.

The thought of last night made Oikawa quiver a little bit, but his nerves calmed down when he felt a hand squeezing with his own. He turned to his left and saw Iwaizumi's fingers intertwined with his - he was still in a deep slumber with only his head resting on Oikawa's bed and the rest of his body situated uncomfortably on a stool.

Oikawa smiled subconsciously at the sight of his best friend by his side. He didn't remember much of what happened last night, but he was able to recall himself being wrapped in Iwa's arms and Iwa scolding the staff, while he was carried in the stretcher.

Oikawa felt a peculiar feeling washing over him, feeling his cheeks heat up after recalling those incidents. There was a tingling sensation inside his stomach, as if butterflies were swarming in there.

Iwaizumi grunted a little bit, his voice husky and hoarse which Oikawa found very attractive. He couldn't elaborate what he was feeling as of the moment, but he knew it was a very nice feeling. He had been feeling this for quite a while now; since the finals match last week, to be exact.

He has known Iwaizumi since God knows when, but it was only these days that he felt so drawn to him, not that they weren't inseparable before, but Oikawa knew this was something new. Oikawa knew this was something different, and Oikawa knew this was something on a whole new level.

Is he sexually attracted to him? Is he starting to develop feelings of dalliance for him? Oikawa really didn't bother answering those questions. He was just so happy, so happy that there was someone like Iwaizumi Hajime in his life.

Oikawa came back to his senses when Iwaizumi moved a bit. He was still squinting his eyes, adjusting to the light that streamed into the room. "Good morning." He flashed a sweet and genuine smile at Oikawa who seemed to be really happy because of it.

"Good morning, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa squealed, but his giddiness was cut short when his head throbbed again. His face grimaced and Iwaizumi scooted closer to him, they were already sharing the bed this time.

"Are you okay, Oi?" Iwaizumi asked, a hint of concern in his voice. He draped his arm around Oikawa's shoulder as he held his chin with his other hand. "Sorry, Oi," tears threatened Iwaizumi's eyes as he looked at Oikawa with a soft expression on his face.

"F-For what, I-Iwa-Chan?" Oikawa asked, clueless of what Iwaizumi was saying.

"I should've come with you. You wouldn't be in this situation right now if it wasn't for me." Iwaizumi sniffed, as he gently caressed Oikawa's cheeks. His weird and unusual actions made Oikawa flush bright red.

"I-I thought I was going to lose you!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, as he sealed Oikawa's lips with a kiss. Oikawa wasn't able to react at first, because it all happened so fast, so suddenly. Oikawa didn't know the base of Iwaizumi's actions. But nonetheless, he slowly closed his eyes as he relished the feeling their sudden and unexpected kiss evoked.


	6. All I Know For Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi confessed. Oikawa reciprocated.

"Oikawa-senpai! Are you okay now?" Oikawa beamed at Kunimi as he patted his head lightly. The first-year student scampered his way towards them the moment Oikawa and Iwaizumi entered the lounge.

"Yes, Kunimi!" Oikawa replied, flashing his sincerest smile at him.

He crossed his arm in front of him and managed to smile at everyone on the team. It was cold inside the lounge and he started to shiver faintly, his sleeveless shirt clearly making his case worse.

Iwaizumi didn't fail to notice this, so he took off his sweater and handed it to Oikawa. "Here..." Iwaizumi mustered in a soft, yet audible voice, "... you can have this."

Oikawa met Iwaizumi's gaze, and he could tell that the former was quite indecisive as to whether he should take it or not. "What about you, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa stared aimlessly at his feet, as if there was something interesting down there.

"I'm good. You need it more, afterall. My shirt will do." He smiled warmly, and it took seconds before Oikawa was convinced to wear it.

Iwaizumi's sweater was cozy, and the warmth it provided made Oikawa feel at ease. A sweet scent - probably Iwaizumi's - clung to it, causing Oikawa to smile.

His eyes caught the sight of their team's coaching staff smiling at him, all of them were glad that Oikawa seemed to be fine already.

He made his way to the buffet table, and Iwaizumi followed close behind. Oikawa filled his plate with the food and immediately went to the table at the far right.

Iwaizumi couldn't help but feel sad with what's going on between them as of the moment. After the sudden and unexpected kiss inside the infirmary, Oikawa seemed to distance himself a bit - not that he's blaming him, he just didn't expect him to react that way. Iwaizumi was carried away by the happiness he felt when Oi was feeling good again, explaining his actions and the kiss.

He was quite reluctant as to whether he should follow Oikawa and join him at the table, or just join his other teammates. After a few seconds of weighing his options, he finally decided to sit with Oikawa, causing his best friend to slow down his pace as he ate.

"H-Hey Oi, about the–" Iwaizumi was cut off from his sentence when Oikawa interfered.

"You should really try the sushi Iwa-chan, it's so great. The agedashi tōfu, your favorite, is tasty as well!"

Iwaizumi faked a smile as he stared blankly at his plate, it was as if he suddenly lost his appetite despite how inviting the food at the resort looked.

 _Great. Now he's avoiding the topic. I just wanna say that I'm sorry and that I didn't mean it._ Iwaizumi thought to himself, as he pursed his lips in disappointment.

Oikawa continued to munch happily as Iwaizumi stared at him, barely touching his food.

He wasn't used to Oikawa giving him the 'silent treatment'. He was always the cheerful one, and the one to blabber on and on, on a variety of topics - some of them made sense, but most of them didn't. Apparently, Iwaizumi was getting a dose of his own medicine.

"Oikawa..." He hissed, but the chocolate-haired boy paid him no attention. "Oikawa!" He snapped, causing Oikawa to look at him with a startled expression. "Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Uhh...because I'm eating?" Oikawa replied dumbly, his right hand scratching his nape. "I can't talk with my mouth full of food, that's not proper."

"Wow! So we're talking about 'proper' now!" Iwaizumi chuckled heartily at his statement, but his chuckles faltered when he saw Oikawa looking at him with a blank expression. Oikawa noticed his disappointment so he faked a smile at him and chose to ignore the lad sitting across him.

"Oi," Iwaizumi reached for Oikawa's hand on top of the table and squeezed it lightly. His gesture shocked Oikawa a bit, but he was quick enough to mask it.

Oikawa met Iwaizumi's gaze. He had a sad expression displayed on his face. Oikawa felt uncomfortable under Iwaizumi's stare. His look was piercing and penetrating the deepest parts of his soul. It elicited an eccentric feeling within him. Oikawa was lost in the moment, lost in Iwaizumi's stare. It had a beautiful shade of green, his eyes were mesmerizing, they were expressive and Oikawa could almost see the whole universe in them.

"About the–"

"Iwa-chan..." Oikawa stopped midway, trying to find the right words to say, "...let's just enjoy our stay here and not think of anything else."

Oikawa felt disappointed with what he said. Was he a bit hard on his best friend? He wanted to take it all back but what's been said cannot be undone.

He felt a twinge of pain in his chest when he saw Iwaizumi as he hung his head low. Oikawa can tell from his expression that he was deeply saddened with what he heard. The sunlight coming from the window revealed the tears that were threatening to fall from Iwaizumi's eyes.

"Iwa-chan, look!" Oikawa's mood brightened as he pointed outside. The lounge's walls were made of glass, making everything visible from the inside.

"They're playing volleyball," a smile crept up on Iwaizumi's face when he saw two little boys - probably around age four - playing volleyball outside; clearly enjoying the sands.

"It reminded me of us when we were young," Oikawa smiled, a feeling of nostalgia swooping over him.

Iwaizumi couldn't help but stare at him as he reminisced their childhood memories, a wistful and excessively sentimental yearning to go back to those days got to him as well.

"Playing volleyball would often start our day. Our parents couldn't do anything about it, because we were just so inclined to it." Oikawa sighed dreamily, which Iwaizumi found cute.

"I couldn't agree more." Iwaizumi replied, as the two of them continued watching the kids from their table.

The day went well for both of them, and for the team. They were sun-kissed all day, enjoying themselves by the beach. Iwaizumi was still bothered by the awkwardness between him and Oikawa, but nevertheless, he could feel both their efforts to reach out to each other despite what happened to them early that morning.

The team had already finished their dinner and were chilling by the bay just like last night. They were eating marshmallows nonstop, except for Oikawa who was sitting from a distance, his eyes fixated on the night skies.

Oikawa loved the feeling of the waves touching his feet as he admired the stars glistening in the sky. He found them relaxing and comforting.

Oikawa's fingers brushed through the fine sands. He was starting to connect the stars to one another, forming constellations of his own, like he always did as a child.

He was cut off from his thoughts when he heard footsteps heading towards his direction. Oikawa already knew who it was and he heaved a deep sigh. He was just not ready to talk to him yet.

Oikawa was still confused. His heart beat frantically. It almost felt like it was about to break free from his rib cage and come out of his chest.

He was puzzled. He didn't know what to feel. Oikawa was trying extra hard to forget what happened; he tried to distract himself the whole day, but his attempts were all in vain.

Oikawa bit his lower lip, and he was quite sure he could still taste Iwaizumi on it. The sweet flavor lingered on it up to this point. He couldn't help but flush bright red.

Oikawa knew what he's feeling for Iwaizumi wasn't normal anymore. It was far from being normal, as a matter of fact. He hate to admit it, but he knew, he knew what this meant.

"Oi," he turned his head sideways as he saw his favorite person in the world. Iwaizumi flashed a melancholic smile as he looked away.

"Can I talk to you now?" He sounded desperate. He was pleading and Oikawa has never felt guilt this much in his whole life, as he did in that moment alone.

"About what?"

Iwaizumi shook his head in disbelief at Oikawa's obliviousness. "About what happened between the two of us earlier."

"Oh," was all Oikawa could ever say, as he was left with no words to utter.

"You know, Oi..." Iwaizumi looked at him dearly, and Oikawa knew this would be a long and emotional talk, "...I would be lying to myself if I say I didn't like it."

Oikawa's eyes grew wide, and he was caught flabbergasted with Iwaizumi's sudden confession. "I-I'm sorry, Oi. I wish I could take it back."

"N-No. I liked it too, Iwa-chan." He said subconsciously, as he swallowed a huge lump forming inside his throat.

"Really?" Iwaizumi almost couldn't believe what Oikawa had said, but the boy smiled at him sincerely, and he knew he meant every word of it.

Iwaizumi was feeling euphoric. His worries and anxieties suddenly got washed away after hearing those words. _I liked it too, Iwa-chan._ It played over and over again inside his head, like a track on loop.

"You've been confusing me lately, Iwa-chan." Oikawa confided, and now it was Iwaizumi's time to be caught off guard. "You've been making me feel weird, happy, sad, incomplete, angry, and worried at the same time. I don't even know if it's possible to feel that many emotions at once. You're the first to make me feel this way."

Oikawa smiled at Iwaizumi as he groped for his hand, and locked it with his. "At first, I couldn't put a finger on it, but as days passed by and every time I see you, I'm starting to comprehend this feeling inside of me."

"Oikawa..." Iwaizumi was teary-eyed. Oikawa was always the annoying and giddy type, not the sentimental and serious one.

Oikawa pressed his index finger against his lips, giving him the sign to shut his mouth and just listen to him.

"I don't know how, I don't know when, I just know that one day, I woke up and I started feeling this way. I started to look at you differently. I have denied it and tried to suppress these feelings, but the more I held them back, the more they grew." Oikawa didn't sound like Oikawa at all. He was never open about his feelings, even to Iwaizumi himself.

"W-What are you trying to say, Oi?" Iwaizumi's heart throbbed faster and faster. His hands grew cold, but that was compensated by the warmth of Oikawa's hand pressed against them, nonetheless.

"I'm trying to say that I think I'm in love with you, Hajime. I know that after this, you'll distance yourself from me, and I know you'll feel awkward, you'll probably start to perceive me differently. But I just want you to know that I'm happy that I had the courage to say all of these things to you. I know you'll never look at me the way I look at you. We're both guys and we both know these feelings are doomed - we just can't be." Oikawa faked a smile as he let go of Iwaizumi. He knew beforehand that the moment he confessed, their friendship would be over.

"Saying all these right now is such a big risk, it might and it will cost me our friendship. It will cost me you. However, it's a risk I was willing to take. Thank you for listening, Iwa-chan. Goodbye." Oikawa flashed another smile as he got up his feet. He finally let go of the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. He started to walk away, but was stopped in his motion when he felt a hand grab his.

"We're both guys, and maybe we can't be, but to hell with that. I love you, too, and that's all I know for now!" Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa closer to him and sealed his lips with another kiss. They both relished the moment and parted for air. They were both panting and catching their breath, but they enjoyed every second of their kiss - this time for real.

Fireworks started to illuminate the skies and it was a sight to behold. Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa's hand and interlocked Oikawa's fingers with his.

_Both of them couldn't be any happier than at that point in their lives._


	7. Love and Pure Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things escalated too quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW 18+ (may skip if uncomfortable).

The door slammed open, emitting a loud thud that echoed through the hallway. Iwaizumi closed the door behind him as he pinned Oikawa against the wall, smiling devilishly at him.

He leaned closer to him, his lips almost touching Oikawa's ear. "What do you say, love? Shall we get this started?" Iwaizumi teased in a gentle manner, as he tried to sound sexy - an attempt in which he undeniably succeeded.

Oikawa swallowed the lump forming in his throat, as his body started to sweat uncontrollably. He could fill a bucket in a jiffy with the amount of saline fluid he released. "P-Please," he hissed, trying his best to sound composed and relaxed but his voice failed him.

Iwaizumi chuckled faintly, as he snuggled Oikawa's earlobes with his nose. Iwaizumi felt Oikawa quiver a little bit, and he seemed to enjoy this tense facade his best friend was putting up; he gently bit his earlobes and started to whisper sweet nothings to him.

It wasn't long before Iwaziumi planted soft and tingling kisses on Oikawa's neck, knowing it was the weakest part of Oikawa's body, making him moan and bite his lower lip, almost losing his sanity with what Iwaizumi is doing.

"Do you want this, Oi?" Iwaizumi joshed, slightly licking Oikawa's neck, making him bolt up a bit.

"Y-Yes, Iwa-chan, please." Oikawa was almost losing his breath as his eyes fluttered to a close, his heart rate was getting out of hand, and he could almost tell that it's trying to jump out of his chest.

Iwaizumi let go of Oikawa's wrists, which were a tad sore and Oikawa knew that there would be an imprint of Iwa's hand on them, due to his tight grip.

Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around Oikawa's waist, pulling him closer, and pressing their bodies tighter, as he sealed their lips with a deep and passionate kiss.

Oikawa's hands wandered around Iwaizumi's body. He tugged the hem of his shirt lightly and started undressing his lover. His hands explored Iwaizumi's bare upper body, finding his arms and started caressing them, enjoying Iwaizumi's well-toned triceps and biceps.

The two of them parted for air. They looked at each other while catching their breaths and smiled.

Oikawa loved the way the moonlight coming through the window caught Iwaizumi's eyes, making him all the more attractive. To say that he was captivated by the boy in front of him would be an understatement.

Iwaizumi cupped Oikawa's face one more time as he bit his lips hard, causing the latter to wince in pain and Iwaizumi couldn't help but chuckle at his expense.

"You hurt me, Iwa-chan."

"I didn't..." Iwaizumi was quick to retort, "...not yet." He flashed a meaningful smile, and Oikawa knew what he meant by 'not yet'.

Iwaizumi sealed their lips with a kiss one more time, and this time, his tongue explored inside Oikawa's mouth. Iwaizumi slowly reached for the back of his thighs and picked him up gently, carrying him in bridal style.

He slammed Oikawa onto the bed and towered over him, flashing another devilish grin, as his hands gripped the neckline of Oikawa's sleeveless shirt, ripping the whole of it in a split second.

"This is my favorite shirt, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa pursed his lips in sheer disappointment.

Iwaizumi stooped down, his face leveling Oikawa's. "I'll buy you another one," he hissed, as his lips found their way to Oikawa's collar bone. He started to nibble at it, eliciting a moan from the boy underneath him.

The two of them started baring each other fully and Oikawa couldn't help but gawk at Iwaizumi's huge, stiff, and aching member.

Oikawa showed signs of aggressiveness as he pushed Iwaizumi down forcefully. It was now his time to climb on top of him. Oikawa lowered his face to Iwaizumi's broad chest and started planting soft kisses on it.

His kisses trailed lower and lower until he reached his middle portion. Oikawa's eyes were fixated on Iwa's, as he licked his well-toned abdomen. He ran his tongue in circles, teasing Iwaizumi more.

Oikawa continued to lower himself until he was face to face with Iwaizumi's shaft. He stared at it for a couple of moments, as if measuring its size, it was so big for fuck's sake, it was even bigger than his.

Oikawa spat on it, and using his left hand, started to rub it in an up and down motion. Iwaizumi's eyes fluttered to close. He enjoyed what Oikawa was doing, and considered Oikawa's hand a miracle when the pleasure level his body was undergoing went sky high.

Oikawa took the huge member inside his mouth, his tongue moving in a rapid circular motion from the inside, as he licked its head.

"Holy fuck..." Iwaizumi was already feeling euphoric when he squeezed Oikawa's hair, guiding his head with his hand, as Oikawa sucked Iwaizumi's cock.

Oikawa, on the other hand, has been gagging for quite a while now, as Iwaizumi's shaft reached deep down his throat. He was far from taking the whole of it inside his mouth, considering its size.

A warm gush of thick liquid came out of it after a few minutes and Oikawa indulged himself in Iwaizumi's semen.

He licked Iwaizumi's dick clean, as he saw the smug look on Iwa's face. Iwaizumi immediately leveled himself with Oikawa as he made him lie on his stomach.

He was tracing Oikawa's back muscles with his nose as he positioned his member in Oikawa's entrance, slowly pushing inside him.

"Fuck..." Oikawa's nails buried in the mattress, as he gripped the sheets tightly, his eyes brimming with tears - he was feeling the pain, yet he felt ecstatic at the same time.

"Y-You're so tight!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, as soon as he inserted his whole member inside Oikawa. They stayed still in that position for a little while, Iwaizumi allowed Oikawa to get used to his size. His aching member was throbbing because of Oikawa's tightness.

"Hajime..." Oikawa's voice faltered as he gripped the sheets tightly, tears started to stream from his eyes as Iwaizumi started thrusting inside him.

"Scream my name, Oi," Iwiazumi breathed on Oikawa's nape, and it was probably the sexiest thing Oikawa had heard in his whole life.

"Hajime!" He was already losing his sanity as Iwaizumi pounded deeper and deeper. With each and every thrust, the pain was compensated by the tingling pleasure Oikawa felt with Iwaizumi's kisses.

Iwaizumi was moving smoothly and gently, wanting Oikawa to feel that he was making real love to him and not just having plain sex. Iwaizumi was nibbling at the other's earlobes, as his hands intertwined Oikawa's. The shuddering boy under him calmed a bit when Iwaizumi squeezed his hand in hopes to calm him down.

It wasn't long before Iwaizumi released his second load inside Oikawa, and soon the bottom joined him. It was probably the best night of their lives. Iwaizumi was still on top of him, both were catching their breath.

"Was I bit rough on our first time?" Iwaizumi asked in a husky tone, his nose snuggling Oikawa's left ear.

"No, you were too sweet and gentle, in fact." Oikawa smiled, still far up on cloud nine.

"What do you mean 'too sweet and gentle'? You want it rough next time, eh?" Iwaizumi chuckled, and Oikawa's eyes broadened in shock.

"T-There's a next time, Iwa-chan?" He asked in disbelief, earning a series of chuckle from Iwaizumi.

"We'll see." Iwaizumi smiled, as he planted small kisses on Oikawa's back. Oikawa loved the feeling of Iwaizumi's lips against his skin; it gives him chills, an eerie feeling, as if a swarm of butterflies were going wild in his stomach.

"I love you, Tōru." Iwaizumi remarked as he wrapped his arms around Oikawa's waist. Oikawa's face broke into a huge grin, as he bit his lower lip.

"I love you too, Hajime." He replied, meaning every word he just uttered.

Iwaizumi was still stiff inside him and it wasn't long before he started thrusting inside Oikawa again. "Ready for round two?"

"Geez, I guess I won't be able to walk properly tomorrow." Oikawa snickered, and the two of them spent the whole night together, in each other's arms.


	8. Troubled Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time flew so fast, and it's already their last year in High School. The relationship was intact, but now something is bothering Iwaizumi.

Days became weeks, weeks became months, and months became years. Time flew so fast that Iwaizumi and Oikawa lost track of it.

They were now playing in their third and final year at Aoba Jōsai, and both of them were very keen on defeating Shiratorizawa this time, after being on the losing end for the past two years.

But before they got another chance to topple Spring High-Miyagi Representative Playoffs' frontrunners, they still had to face Karasuno in the semi-final match the next day.

Oikawa rubbed his eyes gently with his hands, as he adjusted to the brightness inside the room. The curtains were already rolled up, allowing the sunlight to pass through the windows.

He tossed himself to the side, only to find out that Iwaizumi had gotten out of bed already. Oikawa looked at their mini-clock sitting on top of the bedside table, the time reading 5:39 a.m., causing him to arch his brows.

Iwa-chan is never up this early. Where could he be? He thought, as he dragged himself out of bed and into the restroom. Oikawa washed his face with cold water, as he squeezed some toothpaste on his toothbrush.

"Iwa-chan! We're running out of toothpaste! We should hit the grocery store today!" He exclaimed while he was brushing his teeth, making his words indistinct.

Oikawa shook his head faintly, figuring Iwaizumi couldn't possibly hear him all the way from the restroom.

The two of them, since they attended Aobajōsai, decided to live together in the same apartment; an idea to which both their parents happily agreed. They kept things to themselves however, including their real score.

Oikawa got out of the comfort room, and was disappointed when he didn't find Iwaizumi inside. He quickly went downstairs, still searching for his 'best friend'.

He heard sizzling noises from the kitchen and quickly went there. Oikawa's lips broke into a huge grin when he found Iwaizumi, half-naked with only his boxers and a light blue apron on. He was busy cooking that he didn't even notice Oikawa come in.

Oikawa was already drooling at the sight of him, as he made his way to the table and sat on one of the chairs.

Iwaizumi turned his head when he heard footsteps and smiled. "I made breakfast for us." He said smugly. Oikawa, with the kind of expression he was wearing, looked like a proud housewife happy to see her husband cook for the first time.

Iwaizumi laid everything on the plate, as Oikawa got up to his feet and made coffee for the both of them. Iwaizumi liked his coffee strong, while he liked it creamy - they sure had loads of differences, but these differences made their relationship work perfectly for the past few years.

Oikawa shrieked, almost dropping the cups in his hands when he saw the food Iwaizumi prepared. Bacons, eggs, pancakes, a bowl of whipped cream, and of course, his favorite - milk bread, were all laid out on the table.

"You made all of these, Iwa-chan?" He asked, his tone almost disbelievingly, the food on the table clearly enticing his appetite. "I'm so proud of you, Baby!"

"Don't call me that, Shittykawa!" Iwaizumi was quick to retort, his expense making Oikawa's perky mood die a little bit. "You know I hate endearments."

"But why?" Oikawa pouted, twiddling with his fingers, as he fidgeted in his seat. "It sounds cute."

"Just don't." Iwaizumi said firmly, and Oikawa sighed in defeat. He was in high spirits again when he started munching on the food, his eyes widening at how good it tasted.

"Thish ish sho good, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed indistinctly, his mouth stuffed with Iwaizumi's cooking.

"Don't talk when your mouth is full, dumbass!" Iwaizumi faked his irritated expression, when in fact, he found it very cute of Oikawa to do that.

Oikawa was halfway through his breakfast when he noticed that Iwaizumi had barely touched his food. He also had this hunch that Iwaizumi was looking at him the whole time, while he was eating.

"Is something bothering you, Iwa-chan?" He asked with a hint of concern in his voice. Iwaizumi smiled but Oikawa knew he was faking it. Just by looking at his eyes, he knew something was up.

"Nothing, I-I just can't believe we made it work. Y-You know, our relationship. W-We never made things official, but we both know we're 'something', right?" Iwaizumi was stuttering the whole time, having difficulties in finishing his sentence.

Oikawa found this very cute, as he stood up and leaned closer to him, giving him a small peck on his lips.

"Just eat, Iwa-chan." Oikawa giggled, as Iwaizumi flashed a fake smile again. He has been feeling guilty for a month now, for not being completely honest with Oikawa.

He wanted to tell him, but Iwaizumi's fears clouded his courage. He was afraid to lose him, he didn't want to lose him.

•••

"Iwa-chan, your spikes are too low, they're not going over the net. Is something wrong? Is it my tosses?" Oikawa squeezed Iwaizumi's shoulder lightly, as the boy grew frustrated with his performance in the training.

Iwaizumi wasn't able to answer him, as Matsukawa Issei butted in, "Iwaizumi-san, Irihata-sensei wants to talk to you." Iwaizumi rolled his eyes as he headed towards his coach, Iwaizumi knew Matsukawa's unruly hair was nothing but a bearer of bad news.

"What's happening with your boyfriend, Oikawa?" Hanamaki scratched his nape, as he approached the two.

Oikawa's face distorted immediately, and he let out a nervous laugh as he smacked Hanamaki hard, "Iwa-chan's not my boyfriend, silly!"

"I'll tell him that you said that." Hanamaki snickered as he high-fived Matsukawa. They were surely enjoying the bemused expression on their captain's face.

"N-No! Don't tell him that!" Oikawa curled his fists tightly, as he tried to look intimidating in front of the two.

"And why not?"

"Because I'll be giving you extra drills." Oikawa's expression screamed with too much confidence, and it was now Hanamaki and Matsukawa's time to look frightened.

The two just scratched the back of their heads as they continued shagging the balls flying over the net, which was brought upon by the other members' free spiking drill.

Oikawa was watching how Iwaizumi was scolded and he decided to interfere.

"Yes, Tōru?" Their coach cocked a brow, as Oikawa caught his attention, as well as Iwaizumi's.

"It's my fault, Sensei. My sets are a little bit off today. Iwaizumi was doing fine." Oikawa squeezed Iwa's hand, as he flashed him a sincere smile.

"Nice try, but you're not fooling anyone here, Tōru. Hajime, if you don't regain your focus in today's training, I might sit you out the whole game tomorrow." Their coach proclaimed grimly, as the two of them bowed their heads before going back to training.

"Iwa-chan ar–" Oikawa wasn't able to finish his sentence as Iwaizumi interfered.

"I said I'm fine, Shittykawa!"

Iwaizumi stormed his way to get some balls out of the cart, and throwing them to Oikawa, asking for tosses.

Oikawa gave him a flawless toss, as Iwaizumi attacked from zone two. He clobbered the ball so hard that it hit Kunimi - who was fooling around with Kindaichi - right in the face.

It knocked him unconscious for a short while and the team mobbed around him. "Gomenasai, Kunimi-san!" Iwaizumi bent down to his level, as he helped him stand up.

"Don't mind, Iwaizumi-senpai." Kunimi hissed faintly, as Yahaba escorted him to the bleachers, where the paramedics were.

"You can always tell me whenever you're ready, I'm here to listen." Oikawa whispered to Iwaizumi, as the captain diverted his attention to his other teammates, deciding to leave Iwaizumi alone to sort things out within him.

The concerned look on Oikawa's face even made him feel even guiltier. Iwaizumi started to loathe himself for being a coward. He knew Oikawa would find out someday, but before that day comes, he wanted to make Oikawa know that he means the world to him. He wanted him to know how much he loved him.

•••

Iwaizumi was still in the locker rooms, half-naked, clad only in a towel around his waist, water still dripping from the strands of his disheveled hair.

"Mom, do I really have to do this?" He was talking to his mom over the phone, as he heaved a deep sigh. A look of frustration registered on his face.

"Yes, dear, tomorrow night after your game, we'll be having dinner with them. So we can also talk about the–" Iwaizumi's mom was cut off when he interfered.

"Stop right there! I don't want to hear that!" Iwaizumi spat the words out like poison, as he heard his mother sigh on the other line.

"I'm sorry that you have to do this, son, but we really need them, they're our business' last chance." She sounded almost pleading, and Iwaizumi felt guilty with the way he has been answering her.

He massaged his temple with his free hand, brushing his hand through his hair and running it down his face.

"What if I-I..." He heard his mom hang up and he couldn't get any more frustrated, "...I'm in love with someone else?" Iwaizumi finished his sentence nonetheless, and slammed his phone hard on the wall, letting out a frustrated scream.

"Iwa-chan..." His eyes widened as he saw Oikawa come out of the shower room. He didn't know he was still there.

"Hi..." The mixed emotions Iwaizumi was feeling made him feel like his whole system was dysfunctional. He didn't know what to feel. He wanted to breakdown, but his feet led him to what he really needed.

Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around Oikawa, hugging him tightly. Oikawa was confused as Hell with Iwaizumi's weird demeanor, but returned the hug nonetheless.

They stayed that way for quite some time, until Iwaizumi sealed their lips with a kiss. It was long and deep but Oikawa pulled back after a while and smirked, "We don't want to get intimate here, inside the locker rooms, do we?"

Iwaizumi let out a faint laugh as he smacked Oikawa's bare chest, "Go get your clothes, and let's grab some lunch, I'm hungry already."

Oikawa laughed as he obliged to Iwaizumi's request, the two of them changing into clean clothes.


	9. The Fallen Powerhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fallen powerhouse served Aoba Josai their end.
> 
> "How can I be the ace when I couldn't even make that point?"

The Spring High-Miyagi Prefecture Representative Playoffs' Semi-Final match between Karasuno and Seijoh was well underway. The former leads the match by a set to love. If the boys in orange and black jerseys get their hands on this set as well, that would mean the end of the match and a ticket to the finals.

"It's the scaredy-cat pinch server from that Wakunan match, again!" The crowd began to murmur as the officials blew the whistle, indicating a substitution for Team Karasuno.

"Yamaguchi! Get ten points!" Hinata pumped his fists in excitement, as he patted Yamaguchi on his shoulders.

"But that would end the match."

"I'd forgive you." Hinata smirked, and Yamaguchi found a little motivation from his teammate.

Eight seconds. A server has eight seconds to think the whole serve through. _You went to Coach Ukai on your own, and that makes you a whole different player already._ Makoto Shimada's words played and replayed inside Yamaguchi's head over and over again.

He heaved a deep breath, as he made his serve, his heart still pounding inside his chest, hopeful for a positive outcome.

"Out!" Shinji Watari, Seijoh's libero called out but Yamaguchi's serve took an unexpected fall onto the line on the last millisecond, registering a no touch ace and a point for Karasuno.

"NICE ONE, YAMAGUCHI!" Karasuno's six commended their newly-fielded teammate, as Yamaguchi started to build confidence in his serves.

Yamaguchi racked up points with his serve until Seijoh figured out a way to stop his jump floats. Oikawa tossed the ball up high to Zone 6 where Iwaizumi went for the kill.

Yamaguchi was able to keep the ball in play when he received it with his body. His save paved way to Tsukkishima, who swiped the ball past Oikawa's fingertips. The crowd cheered and Oikawa gave Tsukki a dirty look, as the tension started to build between the two.

Their coach called for time out, as they talked things over. True enough, a serve is a solitary play in which you are given the chance to score on your own, and Yamaguchi displayed and used that weapon all throughout the tournament. All Seijoh's concern at the moment is to put an end to it, as another service ace was registered, courtesy of a net drop.

"Let's calm down!" Oikawa exclaimed in a jolly manner, as he opened his arms wide, causing his teammates to look at him in disbelief.

"I am calm." Iwa replied nonchalantly, as Makki and Issei agreed. "We'll get the next one. That serve was hard to stop."

"You guys are so great, you're making your captain blush!" Oikawa squealed, earning a smirk from Iwaizumi, as they settled inside the course.

Karasuno kept pushing through, as Asahi scored with an off-the-block hit from Oikawa. The ace from the other side answered back with a back row attack, finally ending Yamaguchi's serving reign.

"Next time, I'll get ten points." Yamaguchi hissed, as Hinata and Nishinoya looked at him in awe.

A series of point exchanges, courtesy of Asahi and Iwaizumi's showdown, made the match really tight. Iwaizumi noticed that Kindaichi was not his usual self, so he approached him nicely and said, "Your movements are stiff, Kindaichi." The senior whispered what seemed out of the blue to the first-year player, who grimaced.

"Stop thinking about unnecessary things. You have to focus your mind on the ball in front of you." Iwa smiled, calming Kindaichi's jittery nerves.

The fight between the two teams was a thriller, and there was no guarantee who'd be bagging the set until the very end. Seijoh finally had a breather, establishing a run of their own, and zooming past Karasuno in the scoreboard, leading them by two, and pocketing the second set 28-26.

 _Difficult opponents. Troublesome opponents. They were supposed to be beneath us. But apparently, we're fated to play to the fullest._ Oikawa thought, as his gaze met Daichi's, Karasuno's skipper. Both teams knew that at that point of the match, they have to give it their all.

**•••**

"I'm sure you're sick of hearing this, but make sure you serve strong. It can't be helped if their #10 scores some points. Limit his path and pick up the ball." Oikawa and the others huddled around their coach for some final instructions. They needed his wisdom and and his words as they went into the final set of the match.

"Right!" They answered in unison, as the screeching sound of the whistle enveloped the arena's atmosphere. It's time for the two teams to go head-to-head, and go all out in the third and final set. The set where they finally settle things against one another.

After getting the first point of the set, Oikawa trudged his way towards the deck as he prepared to serve. He directed it to Asahi, who was in position but the trajectory and speed of Oikawa's serve ruined his well-established platform.

The receive went long and was about to cross over the net when Kyotani went for the kill, the single block from Tanaka couldn't do anything about the attack.

"Good. It looks like Mad Dog-chan's engine is still warmed up." Oikawa snickered, as he looked at the intimidating recruit.

Oikawa unleashed another powerful serve, but Daichi was there to stop its momentum, giving Kageyama the ball and establishing a great connection with Tanaka Ryū, whose attack went off the hands of Kentaro Kyotani, ending Oikawa's serving streak.

"Mad Dog-chan!" Oikawa called out, as their libero made the perfect pass off Tsukkishima's serve. Kyotani answered back with the same attack, hitting the ball off Tanaka's block attempt.

Seijoh has all the goods to win the match against their now archenemies - an ace with proper technique and consummate skills in Iwaizumi, and an heir apparent to the said ace, being Kyotani. Plus, they had Oikawa's deadly serves that could rack up points. Karasuno knew that if they could counter all of those, winning against Seijoh wouldn't be an impossible feat.

The final set was also close, yet no one established a significant, or a comfortable lead just yet.

Karasuno has been targeting Kyotani with their serves, preventing his attacks. Seijoh's prized recruit struggled in the final set, as his attacks were read well by the opposing team. Frustration started to build up inside him, finally losing his composure along with his court presence.

After a string of errors made by Kyotani, their coach finally decided to switch him out, making him madder as he trudged his way to the bench.

"Hurry up and pull yourself together. We don't have anything left after this." The bench players' faces grimaced when Yahaba started reprimanding Kyotani. Not a single person, aside from Iwaizumi has ever dared to talk to him that way.

"Shut up. Like I care!"

"Yahaba, don't push him too much." Matsukawa reminded, before going on the court.

"Sorry, but no." Yahaba responded.

"You let the opponent provoke you, got pissed off, and then fizzled out." Yahaba balled his fists into a tight grip. "Talk about lame."

Kyotani finally turned to face him, a startled expression all over his face.

"You had the nerve to come back, and then go right into a match. You were chosen, so you better do your job right." Yahaba tried to keep calm, but Kyotani's stoic expression made him grab the shorter boy by his uniform and pin him against the wall.

"If you track dirt onto our senpais' stage, I'll never forgive you!" He exclaimed through gritted teeth, making Kyotani swallow the lump forming inside his throat.

Their coach saw the intense moment in the sidelines, and figured that his second-year player finally talked some sense into Kyotani. He quickly switched his players and put Kyotani back into the game - _now that the double-edged sword had been sharpened into a single-edged killer._

"Mad-Dog Chan!" With full trust and confidence, Oikawa tossed the ball into the open, allowing his teammate to regain his winning attitude.

 _Oikawa's a sadist_. Sugawara thought to himself, as the blue-chip recruit unleashed a powerful cut-shot attack that even Daichi was unable to handle.

"We have to use Hinata better." Kageyama clenched his jaws as the two teams exchanged courts, indicating that they've reached the latter part of the set.

Karasuno's morale was slowly diminishing, as Oikawa created plays they've never seen before. He's been tossing less to Iwaizumi, who was heavily guarded by the other team.

Kageyama finally utilized Hinata, allowing them to caught up to Seijoh. Hinata's been adjusting and adding variations to his attack - like the consecutive feint-slide hits - much to the shock of Aobajōsai.

Seijoh, being the more mature and experienced team, found a loophole in Karasuno's movements, making them the first to reach the twentieth mark.

Yamaguchi was fielded in again for Hinata when they were able to answer back.

"Yamaguchi..." Tsukki approached, holding a ball in his hand, "...get a nice serve in."

Yamaguchi was all pumped up as he tossed the ball and executed a jump float. The server was targeting Kyotani, who had a hard time deciding whether the ball would go in or out of bounds.

Last minute contact was made, touching his fingertips, and unable to control it, but Iwaizumi covered for him, killing Yamaguchi's hopes of another service ace.

Watari sent the ball over, giving Karasuno the luxury of executing a synchronized attack. From an ace to an ace, Asahi's attack was dug up by Iwaizumi, causing uproar in the audience.

Kageyama was one step late in getting Makki's feint attack, allowing the latter to register a point on the scoreboard for Seijoh, and thus, ending Yamaguchi's reign in the service area.

It was a relief for Iwaizumi and his team, as Makki scampered his way outside the court's perimeters for the serve.

 _When I was a kid, I only did spikes because they were fun, but now, I can truly say that I'm glad I learned the bliss of receiving an opponent's perfect hit._ Iwaizumi was focused more than ever, as the match was almost coming to an end; he could feel the tension rising between the two teams.

The scoreboard reads 23-24, with Seijoh leading by a point. Sugawara was fielded in for the serve, but Iwaizumi was able to pass it to Oikawa perfectly.

Seijoh executed a combination play, but it was well read and deflected by Hinata's block, forcing another deuce in the final set.

Sugawara continued to serve for the team, targeting Iwaizumi to prevent his attacks. With a little help of the net, Seijoh's attack was reduced in terms of momentum and the ball was free-falling into Karasuno's donut hole in the middle of the court.

Sugawara fastened his pace and dug the ball up, connecting with Kageyama, who prepares for the toss. Karasuno's attackers were all in motion as Seijoh expected another synchronized attack from them.

Kageyama disguised the toss very well as he dumped it on the other side. Oikawa attempted to get to it, but it was an attempt in which he utterly failed.

"You little brats!" Oikawa exclaimed, as the memory of Ushiwaka staring at him from the other side of the net played inside his mind.

"Damn! That pisses me off!" Iwaizumi trudged his way to the huddle as their coach called for timeout. Karasuno was now at match point, a point away from making a great upset.

The thirty-second huddle ended as they made their way back to the court. Both teams never want to hold back, and they didn't, giving up not presenting itself as an option at that point.

 _Six who are strong, are stronger._ Oikawa thought, as Asahi attacked from the back row. The volley was kept in play by Hanamaki, but the ball was off.

Oikawa ran after it on the sidelines, his index finger pointing at Iwaizumi, who was startled by the gesture.

 _He's still making a toss?_ Iwaizumi asked himself, as Oikawa made contact with the ball.

Iwaizumi was reminded of their last match in Kitagawa Daiichi, where their hearts spoke to one another, not a single word was uttered but their connection made them understand what the other meant.

A low, fast set was coming his way as Oikawa fell on his bad knee, knocking the chairs as he tripped over.

Iwaizumi swung his arms backwards as he took off, arching his back for maximum power, and ready to hit the ball with all his might.

Instinctively, Daichi moved his feet to Zone 3, anticipating the ball and receiving Iwaizumi's spike perfectly.

"Crap!" Iwaizumi cussed under his breath as he prepared for the worst.

"Give it to me!" Hinata started running in front, asking for the ball as Kageyama was about to make contact.

"Come at me with your ultimate weapon, Tobio." Oikawa hissed, as he positioned himself, ready to receive Hinata's attack.

Seijoh established a high three-man block in front of Hinata, but the orange-haired lad was able to find a spot, swiping it off of Kindaichi's fingers.

Oikawa was there, but the deflect from the block changed the ball's course, and it slipped off his hands, with nobody covering for it.

The whistle blew and the arena erupted, as Karasuno successfully toppled one of Miyagi's powerhouse teams.

The guys donning the light blue and white jersey fell to their knees, tears streaming from their eyes, as the season ended for them.

After a dramatic scene between the team, they finally went to their home crowd to greet the people in the stands.

Iwaizumi felt his whole world fall apart as he followed his team. Tears started to overwhelm his eyes, as the memory of the last point he could've made replayed in his mind.

_How can I be the ace when I couldn't even make that point?!_

His teammates patted his back as they passed by him, allowing their vanquished senior to process everything that happened.


	10. Always Did, Always Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi met her. She made him realize that he was nothing without him.

"When the bus comes, will you load our stuff? I'm gonna go get everyone else." Oikawa's hand landed on his hips, as he gave instructions to one of his teammates.

The dark-haired lad nodded his head in response and Oikawa headed straight to the dugout.

He had only made a few steps when he stopped dead in his tracks; a startled look registered on his face, but he was quick to mask it up, replacing it with a stoic one.

A very tall guy - probably around 189 cm - with a large physique, sporting his maroon and white-tinted varsity jacket blocked Oikawa's path. The rays of the setting sun brushed through his olive locks, his intimidating features emphasized even more by the sunlight.

The guy's aura screamed of regality and confidence. He has this forbearing facade that you wouldn't wanna mess with. His resting bitch face would surely scare the hell out of everyone - but this wasn't the case for Oikawa.

Oikawa's lips broke into a huge grin, his brows arched as he tried to mock the guy in front of him. Wakatoshi Ushijima curled his fists tightly as he threw his dagger looks at Oikawa.

The two remained silent for a while, examining each other. Not a single word was uttered until Oikawa cocked his brows, as if asking Ushijima what his concern was.

Ushijima didn't bother to talk to him, and Oikawa deemed that exchanging mean looks with the guy in front of him would be a waste of time. He finally passed through him but froze in his tracks when Ushijima started to speak up.

"This is a warning, Oikawa." Oikawa scoffed at the look of derision probably registered on Ushijima's face. "Don't choose the wrong path again."

The deep and stern voice of Ushijima was starting to get on Oikawa's nerves. He gritted his teeth as he thought of running away, but decided that what Ushijima might say would be interesting.

"You chose the wrong path. There was a place where you could have realized your true potential. Because of your worthless pride, you didn't choose it." Ushijima declared, making Oikawa realize that the one wrong decision he made a few years ago cost him his dreams of a championship.

Oikawa was already vexed, but he was able to keep his cool nonetheless. He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "So, you're trying to tell me that I should have gone to Shiratorizawa instead of Seijoh, right? No team is guaranteed victory."

"If nothing else, I can say that my team is the strongest one here." Ushijima retorted with full conviction, making Oikawa turn around and face him.

Oikawa stared at him with a blank expression as his eyes grew wide. He was a little bit slow in processing everything Ushijima said.

"Wow! I see you're still laughably confident!" Oikawa divulged with a scornful expression. His lips broke into a wide smile, the kind of smile that would insult anyone who got to see it.

"Worthless pride, huh?" Oikawa emphasized every word he uttered, his voice was soft, yet audible enough for Ushijima to hear. "That's true."

"Listen to me, Ushijima." Oikawa went from being insulting to being too serious, making Ushijima fume in rage as his eyebrows arched in anger.

He was listening intently to what Oikawa had to say. He clenched his fists even tighter, so tight that there would probably be imprints left there later. "I never thought my decision was wrong, and my volleyball career hasn't ended at all. Don't you ever forget my worthless pride."

"Oh and yeah..." Oikawa smiled as his mood brightened up, stirring confusion within Ushijima, "...if you keep all of your attention on me, you're going to get stabbed from the direction you least expect."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ushijima asked, his expression asking Oikawa for some enlightenment.

Oikawa let out a faint snicker. He looked outside where he caught the sight of Kageyama, who was fooling around with his team. "My junior isn't smart, and isn't even close to my level yet. But now that he's not by himself, he's strong."

Oikawa smirked once more as he turned his back against him, pocketing his hands, as he started walking away from the scene. _"When crows flock, they might even kill a huge, white eagle."_

Ushijima was left flabbergasted as his gaze was still fixated on Oikawa's retreating figure. Oikawa was walking away with a triumphant look on his face, knowing that he successfully reminded Ushijima to prepare his team for the worst.

He was about to reach the dugout when he saw Iwaizumi, his shoulders were still hung low and he wasn't even looking his way.

"Iwa-chan..." Oikawa whispered, catching the other boy's attention. Iwaizumi smiled, but Oikawa was smart enough to know that it was a fake.

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi tried to look away as tears started welling around his eyes again. Oikawa felt a twinge of pain as he looked at his best friend, oblivious of what to do to make him feel better.

"I want to tell you that I might come home late tonight. My mom is picking me up for dinner. I hope you understand." Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa dearly, clearly asking his approval.

Despite feeling sad with what he heard, Oikawa managed to smile as he gave Iwaizumi an encouraging nod. "Of course, Iwa-chan."

"Lock the doors, and eat well even though we're both devastated by the outcome of today's match. Go to bed early but don't forget to wash your face and brush your teeth before doing so. And lastly–" Iwaizumi was cut off by Oikawa from his unending reminders as the brunette raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?"

"Again, lock the doors. I won't be around 'till 9:00, so I need you to take care of yourself for me. I have my spare key with me, anyway." Iwaizumi smiled as he shook his head in embarrassment. He knew that he was playing the 'protective and caring boyfriend' card again and it was making him uncomfortable, knowing that Oikawa might tease him for that.

"Are you my mom, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa pouted and Iwaizumi rolled his eyes in disbelief, quickly thinking of something witty to retort with.

 _"No, but I'm your daddy in bed."_ He winked at Oikawa, who was taken aback with what he said. Oikawa blushed furiously as he twiddled with his fingers. Iwaizumi couldn't help but laugh boisterously at his expense. He had never seen Oikawa this red before.

"Baka!" Oikawa scratched the back of his head, still unable to look at Iwaizumi directly, drowning in mortification.

"Catch you later, love!" Iwaizumi laughed hard again, as Oikawa flushed an even darker shade of scarlet red. His laughs faltered as soon as he reached the exit of the arena, where a silver BMW was waiting for him - their family car.

"Let's go dear, they're probably waiting for us already." His mom got out of the car. She was clad in a body-hugging pink dress decorated in laces. Iwaizumi sighed once more as he looked at their team shuttle, its engine revved up, making its way out of the venue.

**•••**

Iwaizumi and his family hopped out of the car as they arrived at a fancy restaurant probably a few blocks away from the arena. He let out a frustrated sigh as he felt a hand squeezing his left arm. Iwaizumi looked over his shoulders and he saw his mom, smiling warmly at him. She had a sad expression registered on her face - it was an expression of guilt.

His father zoomed past them and they followed close behind. They were greeted by the staff as they entered and the cold atmosphere coursing inside the restaurant. It made Iwaizumi all the more nervous.

He saw his father smile at him as he and his mother went to the farthest end of the room. It took him a matter of seconds to follow them. Every step he took, his heart beat faster and faster. The thought of running away even crossed his mind, but Iwaizumi didn't want to disappoint his parents, so he just dragged himself to where they were.

Iwaizumi saw an old looking rich man smiling at him, and he flashed a fake smile in return as he sat beside his parents. Iwaizumi felt uncomfortable under the rich man's gaze, he was clearly scrutinizing every bit of him.

The man was clad in a jet black tux, he had a briefcase sitting idly beside him, and just by looking at him, Iwaizumi could tell that he was highly respected and by many. Iwaizumi knew many business tycoons in Japan, and he couldn't be mistaken with the old man in front of them.

Shichiro Shimizu, owner of Shimizu Telecom Company - one of Tokyo's biggest.

"He's a fine looking young man." The wrinkles on the old man's face started to show off as his lips contorted into a smile. Iwaizumi mouthed a simple 'thanks' as he twiddled with his fingers under the table.

"Where is she, Sir?" Iwaizumi's father asked, as the old man perked up.

"She's in the rest room, she'll be back in a bit."

Iwaizumi started fidgeting in his seat as his thoughts trailed off. He didn't bother listening to the old man and his parents' conversation, as he spaced out. Iwaizumi couldn't hide the nervousness he felt as of the moment. It overshadowed the bleakness he felt after losing against Karasuno earlier.

He was still thinking about various things, but mainly about Oikawa. The thought of him made Iwaizumi fish for his phone inside his jacket's pocket, he quickly typed a message and sent it to him.

 _"Are you home already? Please eat well and don't forget everything I said. Take care of yourself while I'm not there. I love you, you piece of shit."_ Iwaizumi smiled as he read the message again, then put his phone back into his pocket.

He looked up and saw a beautiful, young girl sat beside the old man. The girl hung her head low, and Iwaizumi could tell that even the girl didn't like the idea of this whole thing. Her features were impeccable, and the streaks of auburn in her hair made Iwaizumi smile subconsciously. She was playing with the tips of her curls in more ways than one, avoiding the stares of Iwaizumi and his family.

"This is my daughter, Akane Shimizu." The old man introduced, and the young woman flashed a smile at them. As if on cue, their order arrived and they began to eat. The adults were clearly enjoying their meal while the two of them barely touched what was on their plate.

"So, we should really talk about the arranged marriage now." Iwaizumi cussed under his breath, as the old man broached the topic. He saw the vivid looking young woman squeeze her father's arm, as she looked at him with a gloomy expression; tears threatened to fall from her eyes as the man flashed a stoic expression.

"Shimizu-san, I think we should just discuss this ourselves and let the children go, for they seem very uncomfortable with the topic." Iwaizumi's father insinuated as the old man narrowed his eyes at him.

"But don't you think it's best if they listen? It's their wedding. What if they don't like the ideas we have regarding it?"

"Well, they don't have much of a choice. The wedding's happening in three weeks, anyway. Two days after their graduation from high school." Iwa's father smiled, as he tried to sound convincing.

The old man sighed in defeat as he let his daughter go with Iwaizumi, asking him to take care of her while he's not around. Iwa decided to take her into the restaurant's mini bar, which was in a separate room in the far-left of the diner.

Iwaizumi assisted the girl as she sat on one of the high stools in the lounge. She was scanning the place filled with party-goers dancing to the beat of the music. The room was dim and their only way of seeing through the crowded hall was the dancing disco lights.

"H-Hi, I'm Akane." The young girl shyly introduced herself as she shook Iwaizumi's hand. "I believe I didn't catch your name yet."

"Iwaizumi Hajime." Iwaizumi's lips formed into a smile.

"I'm so sorry for all of this." Akane smiled, a look of sadness encompassing in her eyes. "I didn't want this either, believe me."

"At least we're on the same page." Iwaizumi propped his left arm on the counter top, resting his face on it. "I just agreed to all of this because my parents said we needed your father to save our dying company."

"My dad forced me to agree to this whole thing because he thinks it's a good idea to merge with your family's company, and he wanted to establish a branch here in Miyagi." Akane let out a frustrated sigh as she met Iwaizumi's gaze.

"Are you with someone right now?" Iwaizumi asked as Akane nodded her head faintly in response.

"Well, not really because I already broke up with him earlier." Tears started welling up around her eyes again as Iwaizumi gave her a brotherly hug. "How about you?"

"Yes, I am with someone, but my parents know nothing of it." He replied through gritted teeth, gripping the shot glass tightly in front of him, as he drank the scotch.

"What's your girlfriend's name?" Akane asked and Iwaizumi flustered, his expense earning a faint chuckle from the lady beside him.

"It's really not a girlfriend." Iwaizumi replied and it took Akane a matter of seconds before processing the whole thing.

"You're...gay?" She asked almost disbelievingly and Iwaizumi shook his head in a vehement manner.

"No, he is." He sternly said as Akane snickered.

"Pffft! What's the difference?"

"Shut up. I'm not gay." Iwaizumi exclaimed firmly as Akane raised both her hands in defeat.

"Okay, no one's gay here, take a chill pill dude!" Akane stifled her laugh but was unable to contain it as she bursted out laughing. Iwaizumi just chuckled at her cute antics as he sighed in frustration.

"What was his reaction when he found out about this?" Akane asked, and Iwaizumi felt like a bucket full of ice cold water was just poured over him. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he clenched his jaw tightly. "He doesn't know about this yet. I wish I had the courage to tell him like you did, but I'm so afraid to lose him. I can't lose him."

Akane didn't know how to comfort him so she just patted his shoulders as she smiled.

"I mean, I can already picture him walking out of my life, and I can't stand that. Tell me, Akane, _how do you look at the person you love and tell yourself that it's time to walk away?_ "

Silence enveloped the atmosphere between the two, and they just remained silent for a couple of seconds until Akane thought of another topic to distract the both of them. They indulged themselves in alcohol, hoping that booze fade the pain away. The thought of them arranged in marriage was just too much for them to take, knowing that they really couldn't do anything about it.

The lights were already out when Iwaizumi arrived, he dragged himself upstairs, where Oikawa and their room was. He smiled as he saw him sleeping soundly in their bed.

Iwaizumi brushed his teeth to remove the reek of alcohol, and washed his face before changing into clean clothes. He carefully got into bed, and as he played with Oikawa's hair, he looked at him intently as he slept.

 _"I hope you find a little forgiveness in your heart for me. I love you, Oi, I always did and I always will."_ Iwaizumi planted a small kiss on the tip of Oikawa's nose. He hugged him tight as he silently cried himself to sleep.


	11. His Greatest Downfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stopped living, he just existed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last flashback chapter. NSFW 18+

Oikawa woke up when he felt something heavy on top of him. His face contorted into a frown as he felt a prickling sensation from down under. Oikawa brushed away the chocolate-brown locks that covered his eyes, and he moaned uncontrollably, gripping the sheets, as he finally realized what's happening.

"Iwa-chan..." Oikawa started to sweat as he raised his head in agony, "...a sleeping assault, I hate you!" He grunted, as Iwaizumi pounded in and out of his bum-hole. Iwaizumi planted small kisses on Oikawa's nape as his left hand groped under the sheets, until he found Oikawa's cock and started stroking it.

"Quite a sleeper, love." Iwaizumi smiled as his right hand gripped the bed's headboard, his motion grew faster and faster, eliciting soft whimpers from the bottom. "I've been inside you for five minutes already, and you just woke up." Oikawa didn't know what to feel as he let out a faint chuckle, still lost in the moment.

"Hajime~" Oikawa wailed, trying his very best to keep his sanity intact. The bed was already shaking, and it was brought upon by Iwaizumi's rough and fast movements. The bottom kept whining as the friction increased between his hole and Iwa's stiff member, wounding Oikawa's anus and as little amount of blood stained their immaculately white sheets.

Iwaizumi stopped moving when Oikawa's phone rang, both of them uttered a soft curse as Oikawa reached for it, sliding it right as he saw that it was his mother calling. "Hello? Mom? Oooh~" Oikawa's palm landed instantly on his mouth, covering it as his heart started beating loud. Not only that he let out a moan while his mom was on the line, but it sounded too sexual - the kind of moan that someone would make when making love.

Oikawa turned his head sideways as he looked at Iwaizumi with a scornful expression. He purred out a devilish grin as he grabbed Oikawa's waist and started moving inside him again. "Tōru?" His mom's voice faltered and he could almost tell that she's quivering on the other side of the line. "Is everything all right there, honey?"

"Yes, mom!" Oikawa exclaimed, as he placed his phone away from him and cussed under his breath. "Everything's fine mom." Oikawa added as he looked at Iwaizumi who was biting his lip in pleasure. "Hajime! Stop!" Oikawa mouthed but his expense just earned a faint snicker from Iwaizumi, who completely ignored his request.

Oikawa bit his lips, stifling his moans as he started to sweat buckets. His mom was still on the line, trying to cheer him up for yesterday's loss. Oikawa didn't pay attention to what she was saying anyway, as he buried his face on the pillow, unable to suppress his moans, so it came out as muffled sounds.

"Tōru? Are you there, honey?" Oikawa's mom sounded even more worried and Oikawa immediately brought his phone closer to his mouth as he responded, "Yes mom! I'm perfectly ~ fineee!" The last word came out wrong again, and this time Oikawa's mother snapped.

"What the Hell is going on there young man? Why do i hear creaking sounds from your bed?" Oikawa gulped as he pinched Iwaizumi's right arm. The top propped both his hands on either side of the bed for support, imprisoning Oikawa between them.

"Mom I-I just have to hang up! E-Everything's fine here don't worry, my tummy is just churning and I think I need to go to the bathroom." Oikawa dropped the call almost immediately as he arched his brows and sneered at Iwaizumi.

"You jerk!" He scoffed, snapping Iwaizumi off his reverie who seemed to be enjoying Oikawa's tight bum-hole. "Sorry, I can't help it." He pounded even faster as he brushed his hand through his disheveled locks, wetting his chapped lips as he slapped Oikawa's butt cheeks hard.

"Ow!" Oikawa winced, as his lips broke into a huge grin. It wasn't long before Iwaizumi pulled his shaft out of his butt and started stroking it, shooting his load on top of Oikawa's ass. He wiped it off with his fingers as he slowly inserted himself back in, puzzling Oikawa - Iwaizumi sure had a good night sleep, resulting in him having a lot of energy for the day.

"Suck." Iwaizumi brought his cum-smothered fingers in front of Oikawa's face, sounding authoritative as the bottom was left with no choice but to accommodate Iwa's wet fingers inside his mouth. The fingers tickled his throat and it tasted like Iwaizumi's sourish semen.

Iwaizumi's thoughts trailed off as he made love to his best friend. The feelings of anxiety and depression caused him trouble dozing off last night, contrary to what Oikawa thought. The betrothal and everything was just too much for him to digest, and tears started falling from his eyes as he enjoyed every second that they made love.

_Enjoying their current intimacy and what could be their last._

**•••**

Oikawa closed the door behind him, feeling reinvigorated after his lukewarm bath. A towel was wrapped around his waist, water still dripping from his body and his perfectly coiffed hair. Oikawa felt the need to freshen up right after their early morning sex.

"Happy third anniversary, Crappykawa!" He took a step back as he felt his heart lurch inside his chest when Iwaizumi popped up in front of him out of nowhere. Oikawa's eyes glistened with tears as Iwaizumi flashed a copious grin, a huge rectangular present wrapped in a cute gift wrapper in his hand.

"Is this for me?" Oikawa asked, almost disbelievingly as he grabbed the gift and folded Iwaizumi into a hug.

"Of course it's yours, Shittykawa!" Iwaizumi patted his head lightly, making Oikawa's brown locks unruly, as he returned the hug. They stayed still in that position as Iwaizumi's eyes welled up with tears again, luckily, he was able to hold them back and keep them from falling.

Iwaizumi heard Oikawa sniff, causing him to break free from the hug. He saw Oikawa pouting, tears streaming from his deep brown eyes. Iwaizumi cupped his face as he wiped his tears away, "Why are you crying?" He asked in a soft voice as Oikawa hugged him again.

"I got you nothing, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa whined like a child as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his palm, causing Iwaizumi to laugh heartily at his expense. "It doesn't matter. I just hope you'll like my gift for you, afterall, I spent days making that."

Oikawa shrieked in excitement as he tore the gift wrapper into shreds. His mouth fell agape as he looked at Iwaizumi with tears edging his eyes. It was a portrait of him, hand-painted beautifully by his boyfriend. Oikawa wasn't at all surprised with how beautiful the painting in front of him was. He was well aware that Iwaizumi had the hands of an artist, and aside from volleyball this is how he spend his leisure time.

"I knew you were up to something," Oikawa blurted out in between his sobs as he eyed the cute trash can beside their bed. It was filled with empty gouache bottles - probably the ones Iwaizumi used in painting. "You know what..." Oikawa flashed a sweet smile as he tilted his head to the side, "...I should just make breakfast for the both of us. I feel so terrible for not getting you something for our third anniversary, so that's the least I could do."

A smug smirk registered on Iwaizumi's face as he raised both his hands, telling Oikawa that he is not in anyway rejecting his offer. The two of them trudged their way downstairs, fingers interlocked with one another - one was feeling elated, and the other was troubled, his thoughts trailing off yet again.

Oikawa cooked breakfast for two as Iwaizumi sat on one of the chairs, looking at him with a sad expression on his face. He propped his elbows up on top of the table, placing his chin on his open palm as he heaved a deep sigh.

Memories from last night swooped inside him and he couldn't help but feel anxious because he was so sure he heard cameras clicking and the press buzzing around them, considering the fact that he was with one of the hottest and richest bachelorettes in Japan.

Iwaizumi's memories were limited to that as he lost his sobriety afterwards. He was kinda glad that he didn't get any hangovers when he woke up.

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa snapped his fingers in front of Iwaizumi, who was spacing out, cutting him off his reverie as he faked a smile. "Are you okay?" Oikawa asked, sounding concerned, as he served the food on their table.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Iwaizumi replied nonchalantly as he grabbed a pair of chopsticks and ate Oikawa's beef noodle soup.

"Iwa-chan, could you please turn on the TV?" Oikawa's lips broke into a huge grin as Iwaizumi grabbed the remote sitting idly on one of the shelves, and _powered the television on._

 _"Wedding bells are finally ringing for Seijoh's ace and vice-captain, Iwaizumi Hajime, and the heiress of Shimizu Telecom Lines Inc., Akane Shimizu, as the two got engaged last night at a fancy restaurant near Miyagi's coast. Coming off a loss in their game against Karasuno High School, it is believed that Iwaizumi Hajime proposed to his girlfriend, to which the sultry heiress gave him her sweet 'yes'. Though little is known of their relationship, our broadcasting team was able to get the statement of Mr. Shichiro Shimizu the –"_ He felt his whole body froze as he pressed the power button, turning off the TV. Iwaizumi's eyes grew wide, as he swallowed the lump forming inside his throat. Miyagi Today's banner story featured the engagement that took place last night and Iwaizumi didn't know how to react to his current situation. His eyes fluttered shut, clenching his jaw, as he prepared for the worst.

"I-I-Iwa-chan?" Iwaizumi looked over his shoulders as Oikawa's voice broke. He was staring at Iwaizumi with a quizzical look, his expression begging for some enlightenment.

Oikawa felt his eyes sting as tears started to brim his hazel orbs. He was still looking at Iwaizumi, who couldn't even look at him in the eye, as he patiently waited for some answers. "T-Tell me that wasn't true." Oikawa didn't want to believe what he just heard. He didn't want to believe that _his_ Iwa-chan would do something so cruel. That's right, _his_. He didn't want to find out that someone he held so dear had belonged to someone else all along.

"Oi, let me explain." Iwaizumi reached for Oikawa's hand, but the latter was quick enough to withdraw it, a look of unrestrained fury was written all over his face.

"It's true then?"

"Yes, but–" Iwaizumi was cut off from his sentence as Oikawa trudged his way upstairs, not knowing what to feel as he processed every ounce of information he learned bit by bit.

"Oi, wait!" Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa by the arm, who flinched as he looked at him with a scornful expression on his face. Oikawa's brows furrowed, his eyes already bloodshot from all the tears he shed.

"DON'T TOUCH ME, HAJIME!" Oikawa squalled, his fine streaks of chocolate-brown locks were now disheveled as he grabbed his head in sheer frustration. Iwaizumi had never seen him like this before, and he hated himself for being the first one to get on this side of Oikawa. He cupped his face with his palm as tears started to fall from his eyes nonstop, giving Oikawa some space as he floundered his way upstairs.

Oikawa slammed the door behind him as he fell onto his knees, gritting his teeth as he broke down into tears. He cried to himself for a couple of minutes, until he felt numb from head to toe, his throat was still sore and his eyes puffy - _he looked like some kind of a homeless man who hadn't eaten in ages._

Oikawa, gathering all the sanity he had left, grabbed his maroon suitcase inside the oak cabinet and dug into his pile clothes, segregating his and Iwaizumi's since they didn't really have a habit of separating their apparels, for their clothes were around the same size, suiting the both of them.

"Oi, please hear me out." Oikawa didn't even notice Iwaizumi enter the room as he stuffed all his things inside the bag. He let out a deep breath for emotional release as he tried to calm himself.

"It was arranged marriage, believe me." Iwaizumi tried.

Oikawa turned to face the bargaining boy, as his stoic expression collapsed into a frown.

"An arranged marriage to which you agreed. Nice!" He responded in the calmest way possible as he rolled his eyes at Iwaizumi, who shook his head in a vehement manner.

"No, it's not like that. I was compelled bec–"

Oikawa sneered mockingly, cutting Iwaizumi off, "So you can't decide on your own now?"

"It's for my family's fucking business, Oi. The Shimizus are our only hope in saving the company our ancestors worked so hard for. It's all crumbling down now and this arranged marriage is the only way." Iwaizumi hated every single word he just uttered. He kept cursing himself at the back of his mind as he stared aimlessly at the wooden floor.

"Oh, I can't compete with that. I don't have lots of money to save your dying company, unlike them. _I only have my love and fidelity to offer, which aren't enough._ " Oikawa tried to fake a smile, as Iwaizumi's show of cowardice enraged him even more.

"How long have you been keeping this whole thing from me?" Oikawa crossed his arms in front of his chest, his foot tapping uncontrollably on the wooden floor, growing more and more impatient as each second passed.

"A month." Iwaizumi replied softly, but it was audible enough for Oikawa to hear. His answer pained Oikawa a lot more. He couldn't seem to accept the fact that the love of his life has been lying to him for a month already, and that Iwaizumi hadn't been his for just as long. That's a month of love gone to waste, destroyed, emotions and time he would never get back.

"Of all the things you could've done to me Hajime, you chose the worst, the most painful, which is breaking my heart." Oikawa's hazel eyes welled with tears again as he curled his fists into themselves. "I actually thought we were completely honest with each other, but it turns out that you've been keeping foul things from me this whole time."

"Oikawa, I'd choose you over them! Come with me, we could run away this instance! Away from the–"

"ENOUGH ALREADY, HAJIME!" Iwaizumi's cheek stung as Oikawa's hand landed on it, giving him a hard slap - one he utterly deserved. _"You already chose them over me when you agreed to this whole ordeal."_

"I loathe you, Hajime! I loathe you!" Oikawa exclaimed as his eyelids shut close. He felt Iwaizumi's arms drape around him, pulling him into a tight hug. He wanted to protest, but Oikawa knew he didn't have the strength to do so. His knees were quivering, his whole body shaking, his heart aching as his nostrils caught Iwaizumi's scent.

"I love you, Oi! I always did, and I always will!" Iwaizumi planted a soft kiss on Oikawa's forehead before the latter pushed him away. "Oi, I'm sorry. I was afraid to lose you! I didn't want to lose you!"

"Oh yeah? Congratulations, because you just did!" Oikawa knew that it was time to walk away, he knew that it was about time that he exited the picture. And with all the strength and courage he had left, he flashed a fake smile at Iwaizumi and said, "I hope one day I might have the opportunity to have the same positive impact on someone's life as you have had in mine. I will always remember you in a good light. Your name will forever be etched in this feeble heart of mine. I will never forget you, not after the scar you left, not after you shattered my heart into pieces. _I'm sorry if I wasn't good enough, Iwa-chan."_

Oikawa turned his back against Iwaizumi, curling his fists into a tight grip as he felt his heart tear into pieces. Deep inside, he hoped that he would stop him from walking away, he hoped that Iwa would beg him to stay, but Oikawa knew he'd be making a fool out of himself again if he holds on to that. Those kind of scenes happen only in dramas or tv shows, and sadly, they weren't in one — _because this is reality_.

The rest was history. From that day on, Oikawa Tōru lost his jovial and free-spirited self. He lost his happy-go-lucky demeanor, he lost every fun bit of him. It's as if Oikawa Tōru stopped breathing, it's as if Oikawa Tōru had been deprived of every good thing in life. Oikawa's world, which was filled with vibrant and vivid colors suddenly became sulky and bleak; the total opposite of what it was before. _Every single bit of the old Oikawa Tōru was chalked to oblivion._

_From that day forward, Oikawa Tōru stopped living; he just existed._


	12. What Once Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wants him back, but for the other, he wasn't worth the fight anymore.

_"Iwaizumi Hajime."_

Three years - it has been three years since that name came out of Oikawa's lips. The cold breeze coming from the open sea pierced through both layers of Oikawa's clothing, sending chills down his spine.

Sugawara and Daichi exchanged unsettled looks as they looked at the man standing behind Oikawa. They didn't know what to do, or how to react until Sugawara decided to pull his husband aside, and excusing themselves to tend to the other visitors.

The painful memories from three years ago swooped over Oikawa. He gritted his teeth as he listened to the sound of his heart - the sound of his heart getting torn again into shreds for the first time in three years.

Oikawa took off his glasses, wiping its lens with a clean piece of cloth. Everything became blurry with tears as the painful memories from the past got to him again.

"Oi," Iwaizumi called once more as his heart beat frantically. His hands were still inside his pockets as he looked at the familiar stance in front of him. Iwaizumi brushed his fingers through his tousled hair as he swallowed the lump forming inside his throat when Oikawa turned to face him.

Oikawa cocked a brow as he adjusted his glasses, crossing his arms in front of him, and he shifted his weight uncomfortably. The brunette tilted his head to the side as his lips broke into a bogus smile. "Iwaizumi Hajime, what a pleasant surprise!"

"Can we talk?" Iwaizumi's expression softened as Oikawa let out a faint snicker. He looked at Iwaizumi in disbelief, cupping his chin with his fingers.

"I believe that we have nothing to talk about." Oikawa smiled sourly as he walked towards his ex-lover, he stopped when his face leveled his and whispered into his ears. "It was so nice seeing you again, Hajime. Thank you for the painful reminder of the past."

"Are you alright Oikawa-san?" Nishinoya asked when he came across Oikawa, who seemed to be zoning out. The brunette ignored his inquiry as he smiled at the short guy in front of him. Nothing had changed when it came to Nishinoya's appearance. Tiny tufts of hair bleached with a dirty blond hue still cascaded over his forehead. His hairstyle was still the same back in high school, ruffling his locks upward. And Oikawa noticed that Nishinoya hadn't grown an inch over the years, the thought making Oikawa chuckle inwardly.

"A-Are you alright, Oikawa-san?" Nishinoya pouted as he cupped his chin with his two fingers. Oikawa gave him a nod in response and he petted his hair, tangling it, before walking past the multi-awarded libero. Nishinoya's brows furrowed as he ruffled his hair upward, his eyes fixated on Oikawa's retreating figure.

The sea smelled like a sail of which billows had caught up water, salt and the cold sun. It had a simple smell, the sea, but at the same time it smelled immense and unique, so much that Oikawa hesitated to dissect the odors into fishy, salty, watery, seaweed-y, fresh-airy, and so on.

Oikawa lifted his head up as his eyelids fluttered shut. The skies were already crimson red as the sun descended through the sky, towards the horizon, and Oikawa couldn't help but marvel at the breathtaking sight. Unbeknownst to him, tears started to stream from his hazel orbs as he stared aimlessly into the open seas.

Oikawa was quite sure that he expected this to happen. The thought of this day has been haunting him ever since he left. Oikawa was sure as hell that he looked like a complete idiot in front of Iwaizumi, he prepared himself for this day, and he couldn't believe that he was limited to just three sentences earlier. He was supposed to say more, his thoughts was supposed to say more, but Oikawa realized that what happened earlier was much better. He didn't want to ruin Sugawara and Daichi's special day, anyway.

His lips broke into a smug smile as he grabbed a glass of Sauvignon Blanc, as one of the waiters passed by. Oikawa gripped the wine glass tight in his hands as he took a fine sip of the drink. Oikawa's cheeks flared at how strong it was, but the booze surely assuaged the heavy feeling on his chest, washing down all the pain he was feeling along with the beverage.

Oikawa finally met him again after three years.

_The man who made his heart do somersaults whenever he caught a glimpse of him, and the man who shattered him into pieces, all the same._

Oikawa thought that he was all set for this day to come. He thought that he wouldn't feel a single pang in his chest when his gaze met Iwaizumi's. He thought that he would be able to look at him in the eye, and with a smug expression on his face, he would say: "I made it, I survived. I survived three long years which felt like forever without you by my side. I'm finally healed, Hajime. What I once thought was a permanent scar, has finally mended. I'm finally whole again."

Oikawa heaved a deep sigh as he left the wine glass on top the high table nearest to him. His vision sought Suga and Daichi, but he decided to just send them a message saying he already left.

The skies were already dark and the lights flickered on as Oikawa made his way out of the venue. His feet brought him directly to the parking lot, where his trusted driver left his car for him.

**•••**

The skies made rumbling sounds, and it wasn't long enough until rain water started to pour. The rain gave off that fresh, earthy smell as it hit the ground. The scent assaulted Oikawa's nostrils, causing his lips to twitch. He quickened his pace as he groped around for his keys inside his pocket. His other hand was on top of his head, shielding it from the rain.

"Shit!" Oikawa let out a firm cuss as he dropped his keys, emitting a faint chinking sound as they hit the ground. Oikawa couldn't see a thing with his glasses bleary, with the raindrops and the parking lot being dimly lit.

Oikawa was already soaking wet as he let out an annoyed huff, still unable to find his keys that fell to the ground. He noticed that he wasn't getting any wetter, and if the rain stopped pouring over him. He looked around and saw that it was still raining, he could still hear its unpleasant noise as it touched the earth.

"Hey," the brunette nearly jumped, aghast as he turned around, his fists balled into a tight grip, ready to punch the unknown person who was behind him.

He lowered his defenses when he realized it was Iwaizumi, holding an umbrella in his left hand as he kept them shielded from the rain.

Oikawa's expression turned grim as he turned his back against him and continued searching for his keys again. "Here," Iwaizumi opened his palm as Oikawa slowly turned his head to the side, grabbing the keys from his open hand and unlocking his car door.

"Oi, let's talk, please." Iwaizumi's voice broke as tears started edging his eyes. Oikawa completely ignored his request as he revved up the car's engine, preparing to drive out of the venue.

"Please, Oi! Talk to me!" Oikawa bitterly pressed the horn repeatedly as Iwaizumi blocked his path, propping his hands on top of the headlights.

"What do you want to talk about Hajime?!" Oikawa finally gave in as he slammed the car's door behind him, his heart beat going ballistic as he bravely faced Iwaizumi with a stoic expression on his face.

"I just wanted to say sorry, for everything." Iwaizumi bit his lower lip as raindrops mixed with his tears on his face. He looked at Oikawa, who flashed his resting bitch face, seeming uninterested with what Iwaizumi has to say.

Iwaizumi dropped his usual forbearing facade and showed Oikawa how broken he was without him. He grabbed Oikawa by the arm, as the brunette tried to get inside his car again. Oikawa quickly retrieved his hand from Iwaizumi's grip as he smiled sourly, "Apology accepted."

Oikawa huffed away the few streaks of chocolate-brown locks cascading over his forehead. He revved up the engine once more as he drove out of the parking lot, but Iwaizumi was keeping up with him, chattering indistinct things as he continued knocking at the car's windows.

Iwaizumi's pleads came out as muffled screams to Oikawa, they seemed almost distant because of the rain. But one line made him step on the break almost immediately, bringing his car into a halt. "I want you back, Oi! Please come back to me!" Iwaizumi quivered as Oikawa mindlessly stepped out of his car, staring at Iwaizumi as tears threatened to fall from his eyes as well.

"W-What...did you say?" Oikawa asked in a hushed tone, but it was audible enough for Iwaizumi to hear. Anger started to build up inside him as he clenched his fists tightly.

"I want you back." Iwaizumi hissed, as a punch knocked him off his feet, he wiped the blood coming off his wounded lips as he looked bleakly at Oikawa, who was towering over him.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME NOW!" Oikawa punched Iwa's chest repeatedly as soon as the latter got to his feet. All the emotions, all the pain, all the heartaches Oikawa experienced weakened him as Iwaizumi gripped his wrists tightly and pulled him tight for an embrace.

Oikawa cried on Iwa's chest as his ex-lover tightened his hug around him. He wanted to struggle, he wanted to break loose, but Oikawa knew he didn't have the strength to do so.

"I want you back, Oi. I want to let you know that we got divorced. I immediately went looking for you. I went to your house, but your parents never told me where you were. Believe me, Oi, I tried to find you, but I guess destiny didn't want me to locate you, not until today." Iwaizumi explained in between his sobs as he planted a small kiss on Oikawa's head.

With all the strength he had left, Oikawa pushed Iwaizumi away as he pointed his fingers at him, his face filled with rage and unrestrained fury. "AND HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE EVERYTHING? HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE THE FACT THAT I WAS HURT? THAT I WAS BROKEN? HOW?!"

"You don't know how hard it was, Hajime. You don't know how hard it was without you by my side. You were my air, and losing you wasn't easy. You were as pleasant as the smell of freshly cut grass. You were sweet and compelling like a sip of fine champagne. I stopped dreaming Hajime, I stopped living, because you know what?"

"W-What?" Iwaizumi's lips trembled as thunder roared from the skies. He clasped his hands tightly, unsure as to whether he is prepared to hear Oikawa's answer.

"How could I possibly dream again when every dream that I had was with you? You were always involved in one way or another. I was such a fool to believe that we'd fulfill them together, because right when we were halfway there, you gave up on those dreams. I left because I was hurt, I left because I thought you were different, I LEFT BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE DIFFERENT!" Oikawa's whole body shuddered as he fell on his knees, remembering the excruciating pain he felt when he decided to remove Iwaizumi from his life completely - _an attempt in which he miserably failed._

"I would always tell myself: _don't block it out, don't cut so it stops, don't drink yourself numb. Just sit and let it all rip you apart. And then get up and keep breathing. One breath at a time, one day at a time. Wake up, and be shredded. Cry for a while, it's fine. Then stop crying and go about your day. You're not okay, but you're alive, and you will be okay, someday._ "

Iwaizumi's eyes broadened, his whole body quavered, he never knew until now how much damage he caused in Oikawa's life. The sight of him in tears was too much for Iwaizumi to take, he felt like his system was shutting down. "P-Please give me another chance to prove myself to you Oi. Let me mend your broken heart."

"Enough. Please don't hurt me again Hajime. You have no idea what I've been through after that day. I was nothing but a lifeless vessel that stopped living. I just existed. I'm done being your cheap umbrella. One that's pulled out from the back of your closet on a rainy day. All you do is use me to get you through your storms and then shove me back again when your sun comes out. I want someone who realizes my worth, someone who values me over anything else, and someone who wouldn't treat me like I'm an option." Oikawa remembered all the countless nights he cried himself to sleep, all the times he prayed to die just to get him out of his misery. It was painful, and Oikawa didn't want to experience that again.

"J-Just one chance, Oi, one more chance. Let me inside your world again, give me the opportunity to make you believe in love again, please." Iwaizumi's voice faltered when he gripped Oikawa's hands tightly, he brought them close to his lips and kissed them. He could hear their hearts beating despite of the heavy rain, he could feel their longing for each other.

Iwaizumi smiled sadly as he patiently waited for Oikawa's answer. "No," Oikawa firmly said. "I'm quite sure I don't want to take a trip down memory lane. No, I'm not looking back to rewrite our story's past, I already gave up on you three years ago. Even if you try to win me back, I won't give in. I may love you still, but I'm not coming back. Just give up Hajime, stop wasting your time."

"But why? Do you think I'll stop now? What makes you think that I'm giving up on you, now that I know that you still love me?" Iwaizumi's eyes were very expressive, Oikawa loved the way they shined under the dim light of the post. He could almost see the whole universe in those green orbs, but the longer he stared, the universe within them was replaced with his hatred for him. His rage, and the pain Iwaizumi made him feel. Oikawa seemed distracted for a moment, but he snapped into reality and answered Iwaizumi's inquiry.

_"Because you're not worth the fight anymore."_

Oikawa trudged his way back to his car, starting up the engine once more, as he drove away from the place, leaving Iwaizumi behind.

He cried as his thoughts wandered as he drove. _He cried as he remembered, what once was. He cried as he remembered, what they once had._


	13. Unexpected Task

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa is tasked to interview an enigmatic businessman.
> 
> "Mr. Phoenix will see you now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey.

Oikawa scowled with frustration as he stood in front of the mirror, looking at himself. His eyes were still puffy and red, traces of tears were still evident in his hazel orbs. He sighed inwardly at his appearance as he fixed his tie, prepping himself for another day of work.

He grabbed his glasses, which were sitting idly on top of his bedside table and his vision went from a tad pixelated to high definition. Oikawa fished for his phone inside his pocket as he heard it beep.

It was a message from Ushijima. He immediately opened it and his face collapsed into a frown at the text: _"Oi, we need you to come here as fast as you can. You were chosen to fill in Suga's place for the interview today."_

Oikawa cussed mentally as he rolled his eyes in exasperation. G _reat! Suga and Daichi's on their honeymoon and of all the people in Artmart, I was the one chosen to fill his place for that goddamn interview._ He thought.

A day after their wedding, Oikawa already expected his two officemates to be M.I.A., but he never thought he'd get that task in lieu of his good friend. Oikawa discarded Ushijima's message as he immediately sent one to his team manager, informing him of the unfortunate turn of events. _"Sensei, I won't make it to practice today. I have office works and some urgent errands to run."_

Oikawa sighed as he pressed the 'send' button. He was supposed to attend training the whole afternoon, but because of the interview, Oikawa was forced to ditch it. Aside from being a national team player, Oikawa worked as the Executive Director of ArtMart Tokyo where he's colleagues with his high school foes - Wakatoshi Ushijima, Sugawara Koushi, Kageyama Tobio, and Daichi Sawamura.

He grabbed the briefcase sitting idly on top of his bed as Oikawa left his condo unit, closing the door behind him. He patiently waited for the elevator to open as he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, straightening the faint creases the action created.

The elevator emitted a deep chiming sound as it opened. The brunette hastily went inside as he pressed the button which would drop him off the building's parking lot.

He faked a smile as soon as his driver greeted him when he reached the carpark. The middle-aged man escorted him as they headed to Oikawa's top of the line black Mazda CX - 5, starting its engine and driving out of the establishment without wasting much time.

Oikawa checked his wrist watch as he laid back on his seat, resting his head on the headrest. Oikawa heaved a deep breath as the thought of his sudden errand crossed his mind. Not that he's blaming Sugawara for missing it, he just hoped that maybe Ushijima would have scheduled it on some other day - when Suga's already around to be exact. He thought of calling him to suggest his idea, but knowing Ushijima, he wouldn't agree to Oikawa's request.

Oikawa distracted himself with the copious buildings in Tokyo. They were a sight to behold because each building was built to perfection. Oikawa's OCD suddenly kicked in and he couldn't be more satisfied with their design's symmetrical equilibrium.

Oikawa continued to marvel at the buildings and the crowded streets of Tokyo despite this time of the day. He didn't even notice when his driver slowed his car to a halt when they arrived at ArtMart Tokyo's main entrance. Oikawa headed directly to Ushijima's office, not even bothering to knock as he flashed a blank expression at the man, who sat indolently on his swivel chair.

"It's good that you're already here, our client is probably waiting for you right now. Here's everything you need." Ushijima handed him an envelope, to which Oikawa was quite indecisive toward; whether to take it or not. Ushijima cocked a brow and the brunette huffed, taking the envelope with minimal force. "Inside is the address of their global enterprise's headquarters and the questions Sugawara prepared."

Oikawa rummaged through the brown envelope as he checked if everything's in place. He pursed his lips as his eyebrows furrowed, tilting his head to the side as his fingers cupped his chin, "Who am I going to interview, by the way?"

"The CEO of Yusuf's ArtPortal Inc." Ushijima nonchalantly replied, as he placed his cigarette on the ashtray. Oikawa had to roll his eyes at him, running his left hand down his face.

"I know that. What I meant by my question is what's his name?"

"I don't know. He's a low profiled businessman, no one knows his real name except for the people in his inner circle. All I know is that he goes by the pseudo-name Phoenix." Oikawa batted his eyes as he let out a soft grunt. He was growing fascinated by the Phoenix's background, and he sure can't wait to meet him in the flesh.

"I also want to tell you that sealing off the deal and getting them to work with us will be up to you as well. You must take full responsibility of Suga's task now, since he and Daichi won't be back until the end of the month." Oikawa's eyes grew wide as his face contorted into a frown at what he just heard. "WHAT?! No way! What about the–"

"The company already sorted that out, we already talked to the national team's coaching staff and sponsors. They really couldn't do much about it since ArtMart is your first priority, that is stated in the contract you signed before we gave you the permission to commit to the team." Ushijima snickered and Oikawa's face flared in fury, as he clenched his jaw. He was ready to take on Ushijima anytime, but he tried to keep his cool and remain calm.

"But–"

"No buts. Geez, Oi, you're still so dedicated to volleyball." He chuckled, "I already gave up on that thing three years ago. Off you go, now. It's still a forty minute drive from here, and we don't wanna get caught in traffic, do we?" Ushijima's lips broke into a huge grin as he flailed his right hand, shooing Oikawa out of his office.

"I hate you." Oikawa hissed, earning a slight chuckle from the olive-haired man.

"But I love you, Tōru!" Ushijima replied in a jest, making Oikawa flush bright red.

Oikawa mentally cussed as he stamped his way out of Ushijima's office and headed straight to the ground floor, where his ride was waiting. _So much for being the COO of this company! That guy is just so full of himself_. He thought as he nuzzled his head against the car window.

**•••**

The roads were clear as they set off to the enigmatic Mr. Phoenix's global enterprise. It took them the whole forty-minute drive to reach their destination. Oikawa's mouth fell agape as he marveled at the huge thirty-story office building, all curved glass and steel, an architect's utilitarian fantasy, with the company's name written discreetly in steel over the glass on the front doors.

It was a quarter to seven when Oikawa arrived, greatly relieved that he was not late as he walked into the enormous - and frankly intimidating - glass, steel, and beige sandstone lobby.

Behind the solid sandstone desk, a very attractive, groomed young woman with shining green locks smiled pleasantly at him. She was wearing the sharpest charcoal suit jacket and white shirt Oikawa had ever seen. She looked immaculate from a viewer's perspective.

"I'm here to see Mr. Phoenix, I have an interview with him. Oikawa Tōru for Sugawara Kōshi."

"Excuse me one moment, Oikawa-san." She arches her eyebrow slightly as Oikawa stood self-consciously before her. He was beginning to wish that he dressed in a much more formal attire rather than his off-white long sleeves and a pair of slacks.  Oikawa tucked one of the escaped tendrils of his chestnut hair behind his ear as he shifted his weight on one leg.

"Sugawara-san is expected. Please sign in here, Oikawa-san. You'll want the second to the last elevator on the left, press for the thirtieth floor." The lady smiled kindly at him, amused no doubt, as he signed in.

The receptionist handed Oikawa a security pass that had the word 'visitor' very firmly stamped on the front. He couldn't help but smirk.

Oikawa uttered a soft 'thanks' as he walked over to the bank of elevators past the two security men who were both far more smartly dressed than he is, in their well-cut black suits.

The elevator whisked him with terminal velocity to the thirtieth floor. The doors slid open, and Oikawa found himself in another huge lobby. He was confronted by another desk of sandstone and another green-haired young woman dressed impeccably in black and white, who rose to greet him.

 _What's with green-haired ladies in this company? Is it one of their requirements for application?_ He asked himself as the woman beamed. " Oikawa-san, could you wait here, please? She points to a seated area of gray leather chairs.

Behind the leather chairs was a spacious glass-walled meeting room with an equally spacious dark wood table and at least twenty matching chairs around it. Beyond that, there was a floor-to-ceiling window with a view of the Tokyo skyline, which looked out through the city. It's a stunning vista and Oikawa was momentarily paralyzed by the view.

Oikawa sat down, fished the questions from his satchel and go through them, inwardly cursing Sugawara and Ushijima for not providing him a brief biography. He knows nothing about this man - no one does - and his nerves resurfaced, making him fidget. Oikawa was never comfortable with one-on-one interviews, preferring the anonymity of a group discussion where he can just sit inconspicuously at the back of the room.

Oikawa's gaze surveyed the place. The place itself screamed of the owner's affluence and wealth, Oikawa felt more nervous than he did beforehand. The room smelled like it has been sprayed by the sweet fragrance of rose petals coated with warm milk, it was pleasant to the nostrils - but not to Oikawa; he found it rather irritating.

On the walls were beautiful hand-painted artworks encompassed within 5-meter gold and silver steel frames. _What bothered Oikawa most was that, the style and technique behind the murals seemed too familiar to him, like it was made by someone he'd known for a very long time._

Oikawa shrugged the unnecessary thoughts away as he patiently waited for his cue. Judging from the building, which is too showy and modern, Oikawa figured that Phoenix was probably in his forties by now: fit, tanned, and fair-haired, maybe bleached with green highlights to match the rest of the personnel. Oikawa laughed inwardly at his thought.

Another elegant, primly dressed green-haired woman came out of a large door to the left. _Seriously? Another green-haired lady?_ Oikawa dismissed the thought as the latest green-haired lady asked, "Oikawa-san?"

"Yes." He croaked, and cleared his throat. "Yes." He repeated, sounding more confident.

_"Mr. Phoenix will see you now."_


	14. The Phoenix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa was shocked to find out who "The Phoenix" was.

Gathering up his satchel, Oikawa passed through the heavy, tinted glass doors, his knees trembling as his heart beat frantically. He suddenly got even more self-conscious with how he looked, which was something quite unusual, because Oikawa was always oozing with confidence - plus, he didn't actually care about what other people had to say about his choice of clothes.

Oikawa was greeted by a spacious room with glass windows overlooking the city on his right, and a black wall, heavily covered with wallpaper that had an elegant pattern on the left. Oikawa's mouth fell agape. Despite having been in the building for a while, he was still astounded by how huge Mr. Phoenix's office was - he was quite sure that his team could train here and do some drills.

In the centermost part of the office was a desk and a high-back swivel chair, facing the direction opposite to his. Oikawa cleared his throat to get the man's attention but his attempt was to no avail, "Uhh? H-Hello?"

Oikawa chuckled nervously as the swivel chair slowly rotated. His heart was racing frantically inside his chest, and it beat so erratically that he almost thought it was gonna break loose. The dark-toned, yet astoundingly charming young man smiled at him. He wasn't who Oikawa was expecting.

 _"H-Hajime?"_ Oikawa's voice quivered, his left hand pinching his right arm to make sure whether he was in some kind of a dream or not. "T-This is a mistake, I-I'm here to interview Mr. Phoenix."

"Well..." Iwaizumi smiled, as he opened his hands to welcome his special guest, "...you're looking at him."

 _Shit! Why does it have to be him? Was this planned? Is he the reason why I was chosen to fill in for Suga's stead? I hate my life_. Unnecessary thoughts began to swarm inside Oikawa's mind as he kept cussing under his breath. He was subconsciously biting his fingernails, and was so distracted that he didn't even notice Iwaizumi approaching him.

He extended a long-fingered hand to Oikawa, and at once he was cut off from his thought bubble. "I'm Mr. Phoenix. It's a pleasure to meet you, and welcome to my lair!" Iwaizumi's lips broke into a poised grin as Oikawa regained composure and flashed a stoic expression.

Iwaizumi was dressed in a fine gray suit, white shirt, and black tie. His unruly jet black hair and intense, bright green eyes regard Oikawa shrewdly. It took him a couple of seconds before Oikawa shook Iwa's hand and smiled sourly, "I'm not sure if I should say that it's a pleasure to meet you as well, Phoenix-san. However, since you're a highly-regarded person and sealing this deal is very important to my job, I would like you to know that the pleasure is all mine."

Iwaizumi flashed a fake smile, Oikawa's words evidently hurting him. He was quick to mask up the grief-stricken expression as he made his way back to his chair.

"Sugawara-san is unavailable at the moment, so my company sent me. I hope you don't mind, Phoenix-san."

"And you are?" Iwaizumi cocked a brow, his question catching Oikawa off guard. His voice was warm, possibly amused, but it's quite difficult for Oikawa to tell with his impassive expression.

 _What's with that question? What is he trying to insinuate? Act like strangers when we've known each other our whole lives?_ Oikawa's brows furrowed as he pursed his lips. He ignored his own question for the meantime as he fished out the questions Sugawara prepared, a notepad and a pen inside his satchel. "Oikawa Tōru, Executive Director of ArtMart Tokyo."

"I see," he says simply. A ghost of a smile appeared on Iwaizumi's face as he looked at Oikawa with full admiration. Despite Oikawa's confident facade, Iwaizumi could tell that he was quite tense, and finding Oikawa's attempt to look poised, cute.

"Would you like to sit?" He waved Oikawa toward a white, leather buttoned, L-shaped couch. Oikawa gawked once more at the entirety of the room as he sat on it.

His office was way too big for just one man. In front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, there was a huge, modern, dark-wood desk. Everything else was white – ceiling, floors, and walls, except on the wall by the door, where a mosaic of small paintings hung, twenty-five of them arranged in a square. They were exquisite – a series of mundane, obscure objects painted in such precise detail that they looked like photographs. Displayed together, they were certainly breathtaking.

"The Troubled Man collection. A series of paintings I worked on last March." says Iwaizumi when he catches Oikawa's gaze.

"They're lovely." Oikawa murmured, distracted both by him and the paintings. That's why the style and art in every painting looked familiar. Oikawa smiled subconsciously.

"Thanks." Iwaizumi cocked his head to one side, and regarded him intently.

Apart from the paintings, the rest of the office was cold, clean, and clinical. Reflecting the personality of the man who sank gracefully into one of the white leather chairs opposite him. Oikawa shook his head, disturbed at the direction of his thoughts. He set up the mini-disc recorder and was all fingers and thumbs, dropping it twice on the floor.

Iwaizumi remained silent, waiting patiently - Oikawa hoped - as he became increasingly embarrassed and flustered. When he finally plucked up the courage to look at him, Iwaizumi was watching him, one hand relaxed in his lap and the other cupping his chin and trailing his long index finger across his lips. Trying to suppress a smile.

"Sorry," Oikawa stuttered, "I'm not used to this."

"Take all the time you need," he says, a smile creasing his lips.

"Do you mind if I record your answers?"

"After you've taken so much trouble to set up the recorder – you ask me?"

 _Oikawa flushed bright red as he clenched his fists. Stop looking like a fool in front of your ex-boyfriend, Tōru. Get a grip._ Oikawa recomposed himself for the nth time as he cleared his throat.

"Did Sugawara-san explain what this interview is for?"

"Yes. Your company wants to work with me for the orders of your biggest American client, right? And you're here to get to know me more, and convince me with a presentation you're going to show tomorrow." Iwaizumi raised one brow as Oikawa nodded faintly in response. "Now, before you start asking me, let me ask you first. Why do you need my help? Is your company alone not capable of satisfying your customers?"

Oikawa's flustered expression was suddenly replaced by a pissed one. He wanted to strangle Iwaizumi so hard, but quelled the urge to do so. "My company is very much capable of that, Sir. We just feel the need of tapping your services to make sure that this business transaction of ours with our client won't be the last."

"Well then, I'm flattered that your company chose me."

"I'm puzzled as to why they chose you." Oikawa rolled his eyes in distraught as Iwaizumi chuckled loudly. It took a matter of seconds for Oikawa to realize what he just said as he blushed furiously yet again. "S-Sorry, shall we begin?"

"Whenever you're ready." Iwaizumi sat properly on his swivel chair, resting both his arms on the armrest as he looked at Oikawa, his eyes so intense that it almost felt like they were piercing through the deepest parts of Oikawa's soul.

"I have some questions to ask you, Phoenix-san." Oikawa mumbled, as he skimmed through the questions, Sugawara prepared.

"Thought you might," Iwaizumi replied, deadpan. He was looking at how Oikawa blushed furiously and he couldn't help but stifle his laugh.

"What does being an artist mean to you?" Oikawa read the first one on the paper and he couldn't help but curse inwardly. _What the hell, Suga-san? Of all the opening questions there is, this is the best you came up with?_

"For the longest time I had trouble identifying with the label of an artist. It was very difficult for me. When I had a brush in my hand, I was one. But when I put on my other various caps – student, athlete – was I still considered an artist? I felt like I was juggling too many things at once to be able to catch a ball long enough that truly defined me as one. But as I struggled internally with the question, I finally realized something: being an artist isn't a label. It's what you do that truly counts." Oikawa was staring at Iwaizumi blankly the whole time. He was looking at the way his lips moved as every word escaped from them. Iwaizumi didn't fail to notice this as he snapped a finger in front of Oikawa, cutting him off of his reverie.

"As I was saying, being an artist means putting your best feet forward everyday and to create things that make a difference; whether that difference is for you, or for others. That's what being an artist means to me. Being able to bare your soul for others to pick at, and not knowing what brickbats will befall you as you put your work out there." Iwaizumi cracked a smile as he looked at Oikawa who was still blushing madly.

"You're not even writing everything I say, Oikawa-san." Iwaizumi teased.

"I-I knew what your answer would be," he confided in a hushed tone, "I already asked you that when we were in high school."

A deafening silence enveloped the two of them. It took a matter of seconds before Iwaizumi let out a faint chuckle and said, "Then let's proceed to the next question."

"Do you personally make the paintings?"

"Well, majority of them. I have a few trusted artists within the building's premises, and they can express my thoughts and ideas in arts beautifully, as I do."

"You sounded quite conceited on the last line, Phoenix-san." Oikawa faked a smile as Iwaizumi's smug expression collapsed into a self-conscious one. "S-Sorry Phoenix-san, let's proceed."

"What international art destination do you most want to visit?"

"The Prado."

"What's the most indispensable item in your studio?"

"A flat palette knife I use to create a fresco-like gesso surface on linen. When I travel someplace I'm going to work, I never ship it with other studio supplies, I take it with me in my bag with my keys and other absolute necessities."

"Of all the paintings you created, what's your most favorite?" Iwaizumi cupped his chin, thinking deeply before answering Oikawa's inquiry.

"The Troubled Man collection, the series of twenty-five paintings right there." He pointed at the direction of the paintings as his tone suddenly became stern. "Those paintings expressed my feelings for the past three years - troubled, disoriented, confused, unorganized. I would even call myself lost."

"You may, or may not answer this question Phoenix-san, but what made you feel those things? You know, being lost, troubled, and whatnot?"

"It was when my greatest sunshine walked out of my life three years ago, when he left me because of the one mistake I had made. When he didn't let me explain everything, when he threw a lifetime of memories away. When he chose to throw everything we had away."

Oikawa's rage from last night resurfaced as he gripped the pen tightly on his left hand, causing it to split into two. He was taken aback with his own reaction and calmed himself down. "If he's listening right now, what would you like to say to him?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"That I love him, and that I'm so sorry. I don't want to say anymore sweet nothings, I just want him to know that, I love him. I always did, and I always will."

Oikawa was silenced as he heard the sound of his heart breaking. Tears started edging his eyes as he stared blankly at his notepad. He didn't know why the man in front of him still had the same effect on him, despite what he did.

"W-Where do you get your inspiration when you paint?" Oikawa was quite professional in handling the pressure between the two of them. He looked straight in Iwaizumi's eyes, as he sounded a lot more serious this time.

"Well, I have lots of sources if we're talking about inspiration, but I would say that my greatest source is the love of my life." Iwaizumi pressed a finger on his lips as Oikawa dropped his pen and paper. He was clearly enjoying the sight of him being tense and out of character.

"Your wife?" Oikawa's brows furrowed, his lips twitching as he waited for an answer.

"No, and ex-wife..." Iwaizumi corrected, "...we got a divorce, remember?"

"So? Who's the girl then?" Oikawa flashed a fake smile, as he felt his insides going ballistic. _What happened to the whole 'I want you back' thing now? I'm so glad I was smart enough not to believe everything he said to me last night._ Oikawa threw his dagger looks at Iwa, as he gritted his teeth.

_"You'll meet her, soon."_

"Uhh? Im not so sure about that. Because after I seal this deal, you're not going to see me again." Oikawa stated matter-of-factly, as he rolled his eyes and huffed in annoyance.

"We'll see." Both their attention were diverted to the office's ingress when it revealed a beautiful and elegant looking young woman. She was clad in a gray pencil skirt and a white, off-shoulder top that reminded Oikawa of the dresses ladies wore during the medieval era. She has long, white hair, which curled slightly at the ends, with two bangs framing her face and reaching down to her chest; her hairstyle's most distinctive trait was a short, upward ponytail obtained by gathering and tying the hair covering her forehead.

"Excuse me, Sir, your next meeting is in two minutes." The woman smiled sweetly at the two of them, as she skimmed through the planner in her hand.

"Cancel it, Mira." Iwaizumi nonchalantly said. It made Oikawa's eyes widen, as he signaled Iwaizumi that canceling it won't be necessary, since their interview was almost done.

"Sure, Sir!" Iwaizumi's secretary smiled once more, as she closed the door behind her.

"Mira Strauss, my reliable secretary. She's been with us since the company started. She's too astute to be just a secretary, though that's why she serves also as my adviser." Iwaizumi smiled at Oikawa's flustered expression.

"You don't have to cancel your meeting, Phoenix-san. I'm down to my last question, you can still make it."

"Nahh," Iwaizumi waved his hand dismissively, as he pursed his lips. "That meeting is not important anyway, and please, you know my real name so stop calling me with that pseudo-name."

Oikawa's eyes narrowed, his lips shutting into a tight line. His thoughts trailed off again as he stared at Iwaizumi aimlessly.

"Oikawa?" Iwaizumi flailed his right hand in front of Oikawa, snapping him out of his trance.

"S-Sorry, what was that again?"

"Your last question?" Iwaizumi teased a smile, Oikawa's cheeks heating up as he looked at his notepad.

"There's lots of arts present in this world today, so what's your most favorite?"

 _"You."_ Iwaizumi smiled when he saw Oikawa's face flare in embarrassment.

"Y-You didn't a-answer my question, Hajime." Oikawa stuttered, unable to look him in the eye.

"I mean, I have no favorites actually, because all of them are unique and beautiful in their own way." Iwaizumi smiled, as he stood up and extended his hand to Oikawa for another handshake.

Oikawa was in a daze as he shook Iwaizumi's hand vehemently. An exhilarating feeling electrified his hands as his heart beat faster and faster. "T-Thank you for your time, Phoe- Uhhh Hajime!"

"The pleasure is all mine." Iwaizumi purred a seductive grin as he winked at Oikawa.

"I don't mean to pry, but, where does the company gets its name?"

"I thought that was the last one?" Iwaizumi joshed, making Oikawa lower his gaze as he drowned in mortification.

"S-Sorry."

"Yusuf is my great great grandfather. He was an artist like me, I was the next one in the family line to inherit his artistic skills. My grandfather and my father never showed interest in this." Iwaizumi's deep voice calmed down Oikawa a bit, as he smiled once more. "Good luck on your presentation tomorrow, and I know you'll do well in persuading me."

"T-Thanks." Oikawa immediately turned his back against him, as he exited the office. His lips broke into a smile as he heaved a deep breath.

 _Finally! Some fresh air to breathe_. He thought, wiping the cold drops of sweat on his face.


	15. Rejected Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa thought he had it in the bag, but the Phoenix had a better plan in mind.

A smile creased Iwaizumi's lips as he combed his pitch-black hair with his fingers, ruffling it upwards. A flaxen-haired woman smiled at him from behind the cobblestone desk as he approaches.

"Where is the conference room?" His speech was muffled. He was tapping his fingers on top of the desk as he flashed a polite smile.

"And you are?" The woman cocked a brow as she adjusted her spectacles. Iwaizumi was taken aback at how her mood suddenly changed.

"Phoenix, CEO of Yusuf's ArtPortal Inc." He gloated, and the woman's mouth fell agape. He stifled his laugh when the blonde receptionist hastily extended a thick logbook and a pen to him. Iwaizumi saw her hands quivering, and he couldn't help but shake his head in disbelief.

Iwaizumi teasingly took the pen, touching her fingers as he smiled. He swore that the woman looked like she was about to faint on the spot. "P-Please sign here sir," she stuttered.

"I have my Secretary and Chief Executive Director with me, do they also have to sign in?" Iwaizumi waved her attention in a direction where two people were standing idly, their eyes surveying the place.

"Just put their names in there as well, Sir."

"Okay." Iwaizumi smiled as he did what he was told. The receptionist handed him three I.Ds with 'V.I.P.' written on them in bold, official letters.

"There's a bank of elevators on the right side, press for the fifteenth floor, they're already waiting for you there."

Iwaizumi muttered a simple 'thank you' as he flailed his arms, catching Mira and Nishinoya's attention. The two were put in motion as they followed close behind Iwaizumi, getting in the first elevator they saw.

"Oikawa-san works here, Iwaizumi-san?" Nishinoya's jaw dropped as he looked beyond the glass walls of the elevator, his nose twitching at the pungent smell he couldn't identify.

"Phoenix, Noya-san. We're in public." Mira reprimanded, she hugged the envelope and her clipboard tightly, her gaze also gawping as they passed floor by floor.

Iwaizumi just ignored the two as he shoved his hands inside his pocket, his jaw clenching as he waited for them to arrive.

The elevator made a sharp ringing sound as its steel doors opened. The fifteenth floor was nothing but a long hallway wrapped in bright purple wallpapers. The vivid atmosphere in the room greeted the three of them as they walked until they reached a pitch-black door.

As if on cue, the door opened and a formally dressed, young woman with blue hair, dark blue eyes, pale skin and a slender, yet curvaceous figure beamed at them. "We've been expecting you, Phoenix-san."

The woman opened the door for them as they entered the extensive and brightly colored room. It had minimal details, but the elegant oak-fashioned long table in the center and its leather chairs were surely top-notch.

"Ohayou gozaimasu." Ushijima extended his hand to Iwaizumi as the latter looked at it bitterly before shaking it.

"Same goes to you, Ushijima-san."

Ushijima greeted the other two significant people that entered the room as Iwaizumi sat on one of the leather chairs. "Phoenix-san, this is Akihiro Yamada, our Chief Executive Director." The raven-haired man, Kageyama Tobio smiled as he introduced his superior.

"Nice to meet you, Phoenix-san." The old man bowed slightly in front of Iwaizumi, making the so-called Phoenix uncomfortable. "The pleasure is all mine, Yamada-san."

"Sorry I'm late!" Oikawa hastily entered the room, not bothering to greet everyone in it as he powered his laptop on and started to set up the projector.

"You kept Phoenix-san waiting, Oikawa-kun." Yamada sternly divulged as he played with his beard. Oikawa averted his attention from his things to Iwaizumi and flashed him an uncomfortable smile.

"It's fine, Yamada-san. It's been only a matter of minutes since I arrived." Iwaizumi smiled, much to the delight of the brunette.

Oikawa was twitchy, Iwaizumi could tell that he was quite in a rush this morning. He was sweaty when he entered, the pungent smell of his perfume mixed with his sweat and its stench overwhelmed the room. Oikawa even forgot to pin the buttons on his wrist, causing Iwaizumi to get on his feet and approach him.

"You forgot to button these." He hissed, his raspy voice sending chills down Oikawa's spine.

"T-Thanks," he stuttered.

Iwaizumi noticed the thick layer of skin under Oikawa's chestnut eyes. He looked lifeless and Iwaizumi could tell that he stayed up all night. "Did you even sleep?" Iwaizumi cupped his chin, causing Oikawa to flinch. There was sadness in his eyes as he looked at the overworked man in front of him.

"That's not what's important right now."

"Gentlemen," Iwaizumi cleared his throat as his gaze met the two secretaries seated on the corner of the long table, "Uhh, ladies? I think Oikawa-san is not conditioned to do this presentation today, so can we reschedule this meeting?"

"No, Hajime. I can do this." Oikawa smiled reassuringly at them as he opened the file on his laptop.

"I agree with Phoenix-san, Oikawa-san." Oikawa's secretary butted in, a hint of concern in her voice.

"I can do this, Juvia."

Iwaizumi sighed in as he waved his hand at him in surrender before going back to his chair. "Well then, let's begin."

Oikawa cleared his throat as he opened his presentation with warm greetings. He didn't even bother looking at his slides as he dug deeper into it, showing his mastery of it.

"An art is a diverse range of human activities in creating visual, auditory or performing artifacts – artworks, expressing the author's imaginative or technical skill, intended to be appreciated for their beauty or emotional power. To some people it may just be a mere expression of what they feel, but in an artist's point of view, a work of art is much more than that..." Oikawa cleared his throat a couple of times before proceeding with his presentation.

"As I was saying, there's so much more to art than what other people think. Because a work of art is simply the whole artist himself, expressed on a clear canvas, painting and establishing a strong and stable connection with its audience. It takes days, even weeks or months to fully express an artist's emotions through art. It is their way of communicating to others, their way of speaking to their audiences. Being an artist is never easy, and it entails a lot of effort and hard work. You need to invest the majority of your time inside your studio, because you want your own brand of art to be unique and appealing, not just to you, but to everyone else."

"...Mr. Phoenix is one of the high-caliber artists in Japan. He is best known for his unique brand of art, though he is enigmatic and little is known about him. His brand of art leaves an impact to everyone who gets to see it. It is his means of telling everyone who he is as a person and as an artist. He puts his best foot forward all the time and he creates work of arts that make a difference. He bares his soul in every painting for others to pick at. He serves as an inspiration to young artists who aspire to be just like him, because of his style and technique that makes a long-lasting effect not just on the viewer's eyes, but also in their hearts and minds."

Oikawa's presentation took roughly fifteen minutes. Iwaizumi couldn't help but be impressed by how Oikawa came up with a flawless and fluid presentation overnight.

He was able to satisfy him with his communication skills, and he pleased the other people in the room as well. _But Iwaizumi had a better plan._

All the people - except for Iwaizumi - stood up and applauded Oikawa who didn't seem very happy with everything. Despite the positive feedback from his colleagues and Iwaizumi's team, he was struck with anxiousness when he saw Iwaizumi with a blank expression.

"What do you think of his presentation, Noya-san?" Kageyama smiled as he addressed his former teammate, who was still clapping his hands in admiration.

"It felt so natural. It was amazing actually, I guess sealing the deal with us won't be impossible at all." Nishinoya remarked, making Oikawa turn to him as he smiled.

Oikawa brushed his brown locks as his expression turned grim. He was looking intently at Iwaizumi, who was just tapping his pen in a rhythmic tune on top of the table, showing no interest at what his colleagues had to say.

"I also think that Oikawa-san was able to expound everything, every single bit about Phoenix-san. I guess it actually helps that they've known each other practically since the dawn of time." Mira smiled as she high-fived Juvia.

Oikawa managed a crooked smile as he gently massaged his temples. His head was throbbing so hard and his vision wasn't clear either, despite wearing his eyeglasses. He forced himself to look fine and perfectly well despite being indisposed and feeling under the weather. All Oikawa could think about right now was falling into a nice and long slumber.

"How about you, Phoenix-san? Did our Executive Director impress you?" Yamada cocked a brow at Iwaizumi, his fingers still playing with his long, white beard.

Oikawa suddenly perked up, as he waited for Iwaizumi's answer. He was glancing at him from time to time during his presentation and he seemed very pleased about it. What troubled him most is that the man was wearing an unreadable expression right now. One couldn't tell whether he was feeling content or otherwise.

"It was impressive how he was able to come up with a presentation like that in a short period of time," Iwaizumi's voice was deep, serious and he seemed uninterested, "However, I feel like there's still something missing. Oikawa-san wasn't able to entice me and pique my interest. I don't think I can risk my brand of art by working with your company. Judging by his presentation, I don't think you guys know who you want to work with."

Indistinct murmurs enveloped the conference room. Oikawa flashed an expression of contempt, his rage surfacing as he flushed a lovely shade of dark red.

"WHAT?!" he snapped. "What do you mean by I wasn't able to pique your interest? Just for your information, I USED YOUR ANSWERS AS BASIS FOR MY PRESENTATION!"

"And you limited your scope to my answers alone? You should've done a little research, you know!" Iwaizumi sneered.

"This really isn't my job! You are well aware that I was just a mere substitute for my friend." Oikawa hissed through gritted teeth, tension rising between the two of them. Iwaizumi stood in front as he opened his hands and chuckled mockingly.

"Is this your Executive Director?" He scoffed. _"Really? Using that shallow reason as an excuse for incompetency!"_

Oikawa felt like he was bathed in ice-cold water, Iwaizumi's words making his chest twinge and tears start edging his eyes. He had never heard Iwaizumi - no matter what an asshole he was - talk about him like that. Oikawa felt something heavy as he drowned in embarrassment in front of his superiors. The insensitive man seemed to enjoy shaming him.

"Stop acting like you know me, because you don't." Iwaizumi closed.

That was when Oikawa realized something: that Iwaizumi was not the same as before. The man standing in front of him was no longer his Iwa-chan, nor Iwaizumi Hajime. _It was Phoenix - the enigmatic, stubborn, and insensitive artist._

Oikawa felt like breaking down, but he was not lowering his walls just yet, no matter how unfamiliar the new Iwaizumi was, he wasn't not letting him hurt his feelings again. _Not anymore._

"Don't get me wrong here, you didn't lose the deal, not yet. I'm not closing the doors to working with you guys, it's just that I wasn't satisfied, as you are." Even Mirajane and Nishinoya couldn't believe what they're seeing. It was as if a cold and stone-hearted spirit took over Iwaizumi's body. They couldn't help but feel sorry for the brunette standing behind him.

"Please, gentlemen! Let's act like civilized people here." Ushijima soared to his seat as he stopped the two from bickering further. "We are very sorry if our Executive Director didn't meet your satisfaction, Phoenix-san. But I hope you give him another chance to get to know you more as an artist, one last chance."

"And what? Another interview?" Iwaizumi scoffed.

"No. Spend time with him Oikawa, get to know the Phoenix more by observing how he works and his pre-work rituals."

"Sounds great to me!" Iwaizumi was quick to react as he winked at Oikawa, whose expression remain unchanged. "Let's start tomorrow, shall we? The two of us, spending time together and getting to know each other." Iwaizumi's bait was working, despite feeling satisfied, he pulled a discontented stunt to draw Oikawa closer to him, and it was sure damn working.

"Fine! I'll spend time with _the_ Phoenix and get to know him better. I'm sealing this deal, once and for all!" Oikawa exclaimed.

 _You want to play games huh?_ Oikawa smirked inwardly. _Fine! You can do this, Oi, for ArtMart, for Sugawara and to show that conceited jerk that he barked up the wrong tree._


	16. Leave The Past Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "After all, I'm still your Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi slowed the car to a halt when he found an empty parking space in the area. There was nothing but silence inside his car the whole drive, the only thing that made a sound was his buffering radio; but Oikawa turned it down, growing irritated with the chappy reception.

"What are we doing here?" Oikawa shoved his hands inside his Burberry trench coat. He huffed away the streaks of shiny, brown locks that fell over his eyes.

Iwaizumi ignored his inquiry as he opened the door for him. The brackish scent of saltwater assaulted Oikawa's nostrils, causing his nose to twitch. His eyes surveyed the place, nostalgia swooping over him.

Oikawa didn't notice the smile that crept up his face. His eyes were fully engrossed with the crowded and fun-filled theme park. He found himself chuckling when he saw the mascots roaming around the fun-fair's premises, lifting the mood sky high.

A sudden realization dawned on him and he shot a profane look at the man beside him. "We're not children anymore, we're supposed to be working!" Iwaizumi cringed a bit at Oikawa's expense. He took his hand, and gripped it tightly in his, causing the brunette to flush a lovely shade of pink.

"But we are working," he gloated.

"In an amusement park? Seriously." Oikawa took his hand back dismissively, as he clenched his jaw, slogging his way back to Iwaizumi's car.

"C'mon, Oi! Don't spoil the fun!" Iwaizumi chortled. He opened the door on Oikawa's side, the other man not paying attention to him. He was just staring aimlessly at one part of the park, his expression showing no signs of being gleeful.

"You said you want to know me more, right?" Iwaizumi sighed, "This is how I work. I clear everything inside my head, I let myself loose, in other words, I have fun."

"I don't want to go in there!" Oikawa was stubborn. He crossed his arms in front of his chest with so much force, Iwaizumi had to take a step back.

"Why are your eyes telling me otherwise, then?" Iwaizumi pursed his lips, imitating the expression Oikawa was showing. Oikawa caught a glimpse of this in his peripheral vision, not knowing whether he should feel irritated or just laugh at how cute Iwaizumi looked.

"I don't want to go in there!" He repeated, stomping his left foot on the accelerator with brute force, causing the car to jolt.

"Shittykawa!" Iwaizumi exclaimed in aghast. His mouth fell agape as the car ran past the bumper and into the grassy meadows.

Iwaizumi scampered towards his car, finally put into a stop. He was halfway there when a shuddering Oikawa came out of it and ran towards him, hugging him tightly as he blubbered softly on his chest.

"Sshh, you're okay, you're fine." Iwaizumi planted a soft kiss on top of Oikawa's head. He found himself smiling at the strawberry scent of his chocolate-brown locks. He was still nuzzled on his chest, his soft whimpers making Iwaizumi's heart twinge.

"Hey," He cupped Oikawa's face, leveling it with his own. Tears were still edging his eyes as Iwaizumi wiped them away. He planted another small kiss, this time on top of Oikawa's nose. "Stop crying, please."

"Sorry." The brunette hissed, pulling away from their hug and wiping his tears awkwardly off his face. His gaze were fixated on the green grass beneath his feet, he couldn't even look at Iwaizumi in the eye. The thought of him hugging his ex-boyfriend made him fume bright red.

"Oi," a hand intertwined with his as he looked up, Iwaizumi's deep and intense eyes meeting his. Oikawa was lost in his senses for a moment, Iwaizumi's soft expression making the swarm of butterflies inside his stomach go wild.

 _This is getting out of hand,_ He thought, pulling his scarf up, as it covered his mouth.

"Are you okay now?" Iwaizumi's lips creased into a smile.

"Y-Yes." He replied, avoiding his stare that had the capacity to melt him.

"As I've said, this is how I work. I want to show you how I brainstorm ideas through indulging myself in recreational stuff. Are you ready to go inside?"

"Y-Yes, Hajime." He swallowed the lump inside his throat as he shot a stoic expression at him.

"And one more thing," Iwaizumi cleared his throat as he extended his hand to Oikawa, smiling at him warmly, baffling the young man. "Can we leave the past behind, and act like nothing happened between the two of us? Just for one day, Oi, I want us to go back to the way we used to be...even for a single day."

Oikawa was indecisive, his heart skipping a beat as his muscles moved on their own when he took Iwaizumi's hand, interlocking their fingers with each other. Oikawa couldn't help but smile, as he nodded faintly.

_"Good. Because after all, I'm still your Iwa-chan."_

**•••**

The pungent smell of hotdogs grilling swarmed Oikawa's senses, and he couldn't help but head towards the direction where the scent was coming from, dragging Iwaizumi along with him.

"Iwa-chan, let's buy some hotdogs!" Oikawa shrieked, his smile sending a tingling vibe within Iwaizumi.

They have been roaming around the theme park for almost an hour now, and Iwaizumi was so glad to see Oikawa back to his jovial and cheerful self.

"Here."

"Thanks," Iwaizumi smiled, as he took the hotdog on a stick from Oikawa. He was busy admiring his ex-boyfriend's features as Oikawa munched happily on his food. Iwaizumi wiped away the smear of ketchup on his lower lip, licking his thumb, and causing Oikawa to blush.

"Why are you blushing?" Iwaizumi joshed. Oikawa avoided his gaze as he pouted his lips, his expense earning a series of chuckles from Iwa. "It's so cute."

"T-Thanks." Oikawa hissed, his eyes fixated on his hand intertwined with Iwaizumi's.

Oikawa was clearly enjoying everything in the amusement park, his genuine laughs were music to Iwaizumi's ears. There was this feeling of contentment within the two of them, as they allowed themselves to let go of their past and spend this day as if nothing bad reminded them of it.

Iwaizumi subconsciously found himself staring at Oikawa, His face was so bright, he had never seen him smile or laugh like this since he met him after three long years. The fresh air smelled like maple crisp, and it reminded Iwaizumi of autumn. He constantly stared at the brunette who had a big smile on his face, his eyelashes were perfectly curved upwards, the way his nose would crinkle every time he'd burst into laughter - it was perfect, every single bit of him was perfect.

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa snapped Iwaizumi off his trance, as he shrieked in excitement. "There's a photo booth! Let's go there!" Iwaizumi shook his head, as a smile crept up his face. Oikawa trailed off as he headed inside the fancy photo booth he was all giddy about.

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa flailed his arms as he peeked through the small opening, giving Iwaizumi the signal to rush in.

Iwaizumi participated in doing silly poses as the two of them smiled for the camera. Oikawa, on the other hand, had the same pose for all six shots - his fingers making a peace sign and his tongue sticking out. The two of them were excited as they claimed the photo strip from the printer. "Your fingers covered my whole face," Iwaizumi pouted, draping an arm around Oikawa's waist. The brunette's attention was still occupied by the photo strip, his expression enthralled.

"I look so cute!" Oikawa squealed, which sounded too narcissistic for Iwaizumi. He couldn't help but just chuckle as well.

"Yeah, you do."

"Come," Iwaizumi whispered, "Let's go somewhere, I wanna show you something."

**•••**

The drive to that 'somewhere' Iwaizumi meant was seriously taking forever. They've been on the road for roughly three hours now, and all Oikawa could see were pine trees and nothing more.

He's starting to fidget on his seat, as his bottom began to feel sore. All he wants to do was to stand the hell up and stretch his whole body.

The strong stench of sweet rose petals reeked from Iwaizumi's air freshener. It was terribly unpleasant, and his nostrils weren't liking the odor at all. The scent reminded him of Iwaizumi's office, it was quite similar to it, only that this one didn't have a touch of milk. Oikawa felt like throwing up any minute from now, but of course, he quelled the urge to do so as he didn't want to puke inside Iwaizumi's Lexus RX.

He let out a huff of annoyance, as he nestled his head against the window. Oikawa was about to reach for the car's radio and turn it on when he remembered it had such crappy reception, so he just rolled his eyes in sheer frustration.

Iwaizumi saw how Oikawa was growing impatient as he desperately distracted himself by silently counting the pine trees that lined up on the sidelines.

"Thirty-four...thirty-five..." Oikawa scratched the back of his nape as he grunted. Iwaizumi couldn't help but laugh, as he thought of topics to broach up.

"Are you alright there?" He teased. Oikawa nudged him by his elbow murmuring indistinct words.

"Where exactly are we going?"

"To my workplace," Iwaizumi replied, his eyes fixated on the road. Oikawa didn't pry much further as his eyelids fluttered shut, drifting into sleep.

It was already dusk, and the skies were painted crimson red, as well as a blend of dark purple when they arrived. Oikawa slowly opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was the barely visible sun already setting on the horizon.

He turned his head, where he saw Iwaizumi smiling at him. "We're here," he said, going around and opening the door for him.

Oikawa was regarded by the cold gust of wind, his eyes squinted as his gaze roamed around the place. From a distance, he heard the sound of water, like the rolling waves of an ocean, or a light summer drizzle. Its soothing sound making Oikawa at ease, as he enjoyed the scent of nature and the feeling it gave off.

Not far from where he was standing was a house, well lit with all the lampposts surrounding it. It was fashioned with modern oak wood, and varnished with lacquer paint giving it a soft glow as it caught the light from the posts.

The glass windows surrounding it had matte, black, steel frames, complementing its heavy tint. The porch had a little welcome sign hanging on the knob, and a silk-woven rug that said the same.

The house overall was simple, yet at the same time breathtaking. Its simplicity was so on-point and Oikawa loved the vibe of wilderness it gave him.

The wooden fence's gate emitted fuzzy creaking sounds as Iwaizumi opened it. The man looked over his shoulder, as he waved his hand at Oikawa, inviting him in.

Oikawa's eyes lit up when he saw a hammock that hung from the largest branch of the cherry blossom on his side. The tangy scent of smoke that billowed from the pile of dried leaves assaulted his nostrils, causing his nose to twitch.

Iwaizumi went around the house, and Oikawa followed close behind. The soft crumbling sound emanating from the scattered, dried leaves made Oikawa a tad irritated. The snapping of the twigs overwhelmed his ears, as he clenched his jaw in frustration. It's always the little things that always made him irritated.

Iwaizumi stooped down as he opened the trapdoor that led to a narrow staircase underground. Oikawa's mouth fell agape, a little bit of confusion stirring within him.

He shot a quizzical look at Iwaizumi who tilted his head to the side, as he looked at him. "Where are we headed?"

"To my workplace." He shrugged his shoulders and shoved his hands inside his petticoat before descending down the staircase.

Oikawa was left with no other choice but to follow, his face collapsing into a frown as he removed the cobwebs his hair caught. He was sneezing almost every second, his nose sensitive to the dusty place.

Iwaizumi opened the door and flicked the lights on, revealing a huge room filled with long-tables and blank canvasses. The atelier's walls were coated by mundane and exquisite details, Oikawa assumed they were Iwaizumi's doodles.

There was a marble sculpture at the side. It was halfway done, as its feet still lacked precise details. Oikawa realized that he's inside Iwaizumi's studio when he saw a bunch of canvass paints and palette plates on the floor. It was topsy-turvy; its mess however, pleased Oikawa, which was highly unusual.

"This is my studio, my original one. I prefer this one than the one in Tokyo." Iwaizumi gloated, sighing as he observed the place.

"I'm not working tonight, though, the trip was so long that it made me jaded." He added. "I'll show you the way I work tomorrow."

"W-What?! I'm staying here?" Oikawa couldn't believe what he just heard.

"Yeah, only for three days."

"I-I d-don't have clothes!" He stuttered.

"I can lend you mine, they fit you, anyway." Iwaizumi replied. Oikawa just sighed in defeat, knowing he won't win an argument with Iwaizumi in case he starts one.

"Come, I want you to meet someone." Iwaizumi headed to the door, waiting for Oikawa to follow before ascending to the stairs.

"Who?"

"You want to know who's my greatest inspiration, right? I want you to meet her." Oikawa swallowed the lump on his throat. He felt his whole body shuddered, as a cold feeling swooped inside him.

He followed Iwaizumi, as they entered the back door. The house was simply as breathtaking as it was from the outside. The furnitures were top-notch and everything else in it.

Oikawa was regarded by another flight of stairs as the both of them went to the second floor. He was feeling unsettled, and something was troubling him. _He wasn't quite sure yet if he's ready to meet Iwaizumi's greatest inspiration - the love of his life._

They passed through a long hallway, at the end was a pink door with Hello Kitty stickers on it. Oikawa tilted his head to the side, as his brows furrowed, he just couldn't imagine a grown up woman still inclined to Hello Kitty. Unless...

"Baby?" Iwaizumi knocked three times before opening the door. Oikawa's jaw dropped, his eyes refusing to believe what he was seeing.

A cute young girl, probably around two years of age, shrieked in delight as she hugged Iwaizumi by his thighs.

_"Daddy!"_


	17. You Were Mine to Lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa meets the love of Iwaizumi's life, Czari Iwaizumi.

Oikawa couldn't believe his eyes. He shifted his weight onto one leg, as he tightly gripped the sides of his trench coat. His eyes glistened so bright they could rival the moonlight.

"How's my baby girl?" Iwaizumi stooped down to her level, as he enveloped her into a tight embrace. The girl's little hands draped around her father's neck as well, tears edging her eyes. Oikawa could tell that they rarely see each other, judging by the warmth of their hug, it looked as if it had been a month since their last meeting.

"I'm good, Daddy, how about you?" The little girl pursed her lips,  planting  a soft peck on Iwaizumi's waiting lips, and the scene melted Oikawa's heart.

"Daddy's great."

Oikawa's eyes averted from Iwaizumi and the child to the woman sitting on top of the bed, where a familiar face regarded him. She has dark, black hair that fell just a little below her shoulders and a distinct mole on the lower left side of her chin. Just like him, the woman wore glasses, and had a beautiful pair of gray eyes under them.

For a split-second, there seemed to be a perplexed look on Oikawa's face, but it disappeared as soon as it came, and he replaced it with a warm smile. "Kiyoko-san," the woman smiled back, she bobbed her head faintly, acknowledging her old friend. Her hands were placed tight on top of her lap, and Oikawa couldn't help but chuckle at how she was able to retain that 'prim and proper' demeanor of her's after all these years.

Oikawa's gaze swiveled around the room. It was coated with pastel-pink colors, the bright hue was surely sleep-inducing and Oikawa yawned a bit. There were Hello Kitty stickers plastered on one corner of the room, Oikawa tilted his head to the side, as a nostalgic smile registered on his face. _I love Hello Kitty,_ he thought.

Stuffed animals were on her bed, and a blanket with a furry texture that had a huge, rainbow unicorn sewn neatly on it covered them. On the side, just below the air conditioner, was a small, pink table, on top of which sat a bunny lampshade and a set of thirty-four broken crayons. There was pinboard on the wall with brightly colored sticky notes and cute fuzzy drawings - almost scribbles - attached to it.

The pungent smell of milk and baby powder overwhelmed the room, its scent was so familiar to him that it reminded Oikawa of the first time he held his nephew in his arms. Oikawa continued to admire the cute details of the room, which was messy, but for a toddler's room it was passingly neat. Oikawa was already lost in his presence for quite some time, the gleeful and slim voice that bellowed snapping him off his reverie. "Who is he, Daddy?" The little girl finally noticed his presence, flailing her index finger at him, as she tilted her head to the side, a look of wonder and awe written all over her face.

"This is your Uncle Oikawa, he's a good friend of Daddy," Iwaizumi looked over his shoulder as a warm smile creased his lips. He pressed them together as he looked at his daughter, who was studying Oikawa from head to toe. "Oji-chan?" The little girl twiddled with her fingers as she flashed Oikawa the warmest smile he had ever seen.

"Yeah, you can call me that." Oikawa bent down until his face leveled hers, a smile tracing his lips. His heart was moved when the little girl imprisoned him in her tiny hands, her little fingers fondled with his brown locks as she giggled. "Let's be friends!" Iwa's daughter squealed, her voice was so pitchy that it made Oikawa cringe a little bit. "Sure!" a smile crossed his mouth when he inhaled the sweet strawberry scent almost identical to his.

"What's your name?" Oikawa broke free from their hug, he looked at the little girl with sparkly eyes as she beamed at him.

"Czawi!" She was quick to respond, her hands clapping as she danced in circles around Oikawa.

"It's Czari, actually. She can't pronounce the letter 'R' properly." Iwaizumi's voice toned down on the last sentence, Oikawa assumed Czari hates it when someone makes fun of her for that 'teensy-weensy' speech impediment.

"Now, now little one. Your father and Oji-chan must be tired from work, what do you say you help Oba-chan prepare dinner for them?"

"Yes! Yes!" Czari jumped, as she wrapped her hands around Kiyoko's thighs, clinging to her as they left the room. As soon as they were out of vicinity, Oikawa and Iwaizumi met gazes, there was an anxious expression on Iwa's face but he quickly dispelled it when Oikawa smiled at him. "How?"

"Let's just talk about this later, I'm hungry already."

**•••**

Oikawa tossed himself on his bed, unnecessary thoughts swarming his mind as he buried his face on his forearm. _He has a daughter! He has a daughter! But how? He'd been avoiding the topic the whole meal._ He thought, cupping his chin with his fingers, as he propped his elbows on the pillow.

The moonlight that seeped through the drapes caught his face, emphasizing his features. Oikawa stood up and paced hastily around the room, the thought of Czari's existence not giving him peace. He let out an annoyed huff as he sprawled on his bed, finally giving up, a look of frustration crossed his visage. The night was serene, all he could hear was the crickets chirping from a distance and the wind blowing that caused the rustling sound of the leaves.

Oikawa found himself rolling from one side of the bed to the other, and though he was feeling tired because of the trip, he had trouble dozing off to sleep. Oikawa sat down, his eyes set on the ceiling. He hugged his knees to his chest, propping his chin on top of them. He was a tad uncomfortable with the oversized sweater he was wearing, which belonged to Iwa. He was quite surprised that they weren't the same size anymore.

The ticking of the clock made Oikawa pivot his head to its direction, it read 10:33. He was beginning to think that his body clock got messed up because of his unusual sleeping patterns lately. Oikawa's forehead creased when he was reminded of how Iwaizumi rejected his presentation, and shamed him big time yesterday. The irked look on his face suddenly dissipated when Oikawa realized how light he felt the whole day. A smile traced his lips when he ascertained it was because of what Iwaizumi suggested, to spend this day leaving everything from the past behind and just enjoying today as it was.

_After all, I'm still your Iwa-chan._

That line echoed through and through inside Oikawa's mind. He was beginning to feel aggravated because it was stuck on his head. Throes of agony overwhelmed his whole body as tears threatened to fall from his hazel eyes. The excruciating reminder of their past bedeviled once more. After all these years, Oikawa still hoped that Iwaizumi should've been completely honest with him. Throwing away everything they had with just one lie may have been exaggerated, but for a person like Oikawa, who put so much trust in people around him, that was the final blow. He was just too tired of everyone letting him down, and he had enough.

Oikawa was startled when the skies started to drizzle, spontaneously it became drops of rain, beating against the windows. He sighed in frustration as he ran a hand down his face, still unable to drift away to sleep. He grunted as he slipped his slippers on and went for the first door, turning to the left where the kitchen was. The lights were on, but there was no one there, he figured that at this time of the night, Iwaizumi, Czari, and Kiyoko may have been asleep. The kitchen was quiet, the only thing that cast noise was rain pouring down the gutters. Oikawa reached for the cupboard where he saw a bag of chamomile tea. He grabbed a cup and heaped it with lukewarm water, dipping the teabag in it as he waited for a couple of minutes for it to blend.

"Can't sleep?" He nearly jumped on his feet as a deep voice came from the kitchen door. He swung his head towards the direction from which the voice was coming, and he was relieved to see Iwaizumi - standing by the doorstep, his weight shifted on one leg as he folded his arms to his chest. "Yeah..." Oikawa smiled, "...my body clock is so messed up." He chuckled, shaking his head in a vehement manner as he sipped from the cup. "I hope you don't mind that I helped myself to a cup of tea."

"No! I don't mind at all." A smile creased Iwaizumi's lips as he entered the room and sat on one of the chairs.

"You want one?"

Oikawa beckoned, as he lifted his teacup and smiled. "Yes, please," Iwaizumi's smile never left his lips as he observed Oikawa, making tea for him. It was like the old times. He was always the one preparing tea or coffee for him, as a matter of fact, Oikawa got his taste and content in beverages more than he do. He felt nostalgic, Iwaizumi had this excessive longing to go back to the past lately. He was cut off his trance when Oikawa sat across him, carefully placing another cup of tea in front of him. "Thanks."

"So..." Oikawa circled his fingers around the brim of the cup, occasionally pausing as he looked for the right words to say, "...can we talk about Czari, now?" He chuckled nervously, his gaze meeting Iwaizumi's, who had an unreadable expression written on his face.

"You're so curious, aren't you?" Iwaizumi teased, taking a little sip from his cup. He nearly spat the tea inside his mouth when he saw Oikawa flushing a lovely shade of red.

"Y-You don't have to answer that." Oikawa pursed his lips, cussing under his breath as he took another sip. He hung his head low so that Iwaizumi couldn't see him blushing, his face heating up more and more as each second passed, and so much that he wasn't able to hear a single word from him. The bright light from the mini-chandelier affixed on the ceiling gave it a cheeky glow, making it obvious that Oikawa was flustered. "I don't mind telling you at all."

Iwaizumi relented, a grin crossed Oikawa's mouth as he squinted his eyes at him.

"Since the both of us practically lived together for a year, Czari was made. But right after Akane gave birth to her, she left us, she went to London to pursue her modelling career. I tried to stop her because I didn't want my daughter to grow up without a mother, but Czari wasn't enough reason for her to stay."

"C-Czari never met her?"

"She did. Last year, when Akane went home to settle things with me and our divorce. Czari was so happy that she met her mom. Akane was happy she met her, too. But right after the divorce got approved, she immediately left for London again because she got back with her longtime-no-see boyfriend."

"A-And Kiyoko-san?"

"She's Akane's sister. Kiyoko-san was a blessing to me and Czari. She was also a sister to me and a mother figure to her, she and her girlfriend Yachi."

"S-So, how did all these happen? You know, Czari?"

"I-It was some sort of an accident, we were both drunk because you know, we had to leave our partners behind for the goddamned arranged marriage. It was difficult for Akane to leave her boyfriend, and it was difficult for me to live without you." Iwaizumi flashed a melancholic smile, his eyes began to water when he saw Oikawa's grief-stricken expression.

"I-I think I have to go to sleep already." Oikawa stuttered, hastily standing up as he left the teacup in the sink.

"But I wasn't finished?" Iwaizumi had a flummoxed expression on his face. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to grab Oikawa's arm, but he was quick to respond by moving away. "I-I really have to get some rest Hajime, let's just talk about this tomorrow."

Oikawa ran to his room, closing the door behind him as he let go of his tears. He couldn't understand the pain he felt when he saw Iwaizumi with a regretful expression and a sad look on his eyes. For a split-second there, he was lost in his presence. Oikawa hugged his knees to his chest as he whimpered silently, slowly dropping on the floor, the flash of moonlight giving his tears a faint glow. He was half glad that Iwaizumi didn't dare to follow after him and was half disappointed that he did not. His heart was aching, aching with the excruciating pain he felt three years ago.

Iwaizumi seemed so sincere, his heart wanted to believe him, but he was also scared that the facade Iwaizumi exposed was just for show. After all, he wasn't sure if it was Iwaizumi talking earlier; it could've been the Phoenix. He wasn't sure if it was his childhood friend and ex-boyfriend, because it could've been the cold and stone-hearted artist his company wanted to work with. Oikawa was confused more than ever.

Was that look genuine? Was that tone of voice sincere? He mentally scolded himself as he harshly wiped his tears away, and dove in bed, his face buried in the comforters. Despite the uncertainties he was feeling that time, one thing was for sure:

_He still loved Iwaizumi..._

**•••**

The next day, the four of them spent time together by the beach, which was a few meters away from their vacation house. The crashing sound of the waves was the only thing that cast noise, along with Czari's giggles and the whooshing sound of the wind. The weather was fair, most of the sun's rays were hindered by thick lines of clouds.

Oikawa's gaze was fixed on the seagulls in the distance. He was rubbing sand on his feet as his eyes fluttered close, relishing the cool breeze that run through his skin. He was enjoying the comfortable silence he had with Iwaizumi. He didn't know how he was still able to keep up with him at this point, but Oikawa didn't want to ruin such a nice day like that.

"Oi?" Iwaizumi whispered, a smile tracing Oikawa's lips, as he swung his head to his side. "Hmm?" Oikawa was regarded by Iwaizumi's mesmerizing eyes, those pair of green orbs always had the capacity to make him space out. His eyes were like portals to another dimension, staring at them makes you lose your senses.

"I wanna ask you something," Iwaizumi said, his tone was stern, and it made Oikawa uneasy.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Did you ever regret leaving me?" Iwaizumi's eyes were poignant, his desolate expression made Oikawa's heart lurch. He was caught off guard by Iwaizumi's sudden question. He looked at his feet, as if there's something interesting down there. As much as he wanted to, Oikawa knew there was no escaping his inquiry.

"I want you to know that throwing away everything we had was never easy for me. I might've dispatched you in a jiffy, but that pained me a lot as well..." Iwaizumi remained silent as he listened. _"...the hardest thing in life is really saying goodbye to someone you want to spend your whole life with."_

In every word that came forth from Oikawa's lips, Iwaizumi's heart was crushed bit by bit. He knew how much damage he caused Oikawa, if only he could turn back time, he would always choose him over anything else.

The skies were already painted ash gray, the sun, which was barely visible earlier was totally gone. Iwaizumi smiled melancholically, tears glistened in his eyes, as he hung his head low, carefully placing his forehead on top of his knees.

_"Maybe you were just mine to lose..."_

Little footsteps scuffed against the sands, tiny giggles were coming their way and the next thing they knew, Czari was already in front of them with a handful of seashells filling her tiny hands. "Oji-chan, I want you to have this." She smiled, the gleeful and carefree look on her face, making Oikawa's heart melt in awe.

"But why, Baby? You collected them."

"I can see that you cawe fow Daddy, and I thank you fow that." Czari's smile was sweet, she enveloped Oikawa into a warm hug before going back to Kiyoko again, gathering another batch of seashells as she twirled in circles gracefully.

"She likes you," A giggle escaped Iwaizumi's lips. "She likes people who care for me. And I guess she has no idea that you don't care...not anymore."

It was as if Oikawa's lips moved on their own, for he spoke the words Iwaizumi wanted to hear from him after everything they've been through. _"Your daughter's right, I care for you. I still do."_

There was no denying that. The longer Oikawa spent time with him, the more his frozen heart began to thaw. Subconsciously, he has allowed Iwaizumi to enter his life once more, finding a little forgiveness for him. Oikawa realized that after all these years, Iwaizumi never left in his heart, he was always there. His extra efforts to forget him hindered Oikawa from realizing that.

Things escalated for the both of them quickly. The next thing they knew, they were already inside Iwaizumi's room, baring together, listening to the each other's heartbeats, their longing for one another's touch couldn't be equated to anything great that time. Oikawa was beginning to see the good in him again, he was beginning to see his best friend once more.

_The man he once loved, the man he never stopped loving. The man he wanted to spend a life with._


	18. I Love You, I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three years of separation made them long for each other more, and now that they finally had the chance, someone got in the way.

Their hearts raced, and the frantic sound was the only thing that made a sound inside the room. Like the rumbling of the thunder, they beat so hard they thought it would rip out of their chests. Like a train on a rickety track, and becoming faster and faster. It sounded like African tom-tom drums beating out an urgent message to anyone who would listen. It had a harmonious tone, their heartbeats synchronizing with one another.

Iwaizumi attacked Oikawa's lips, and propped his arms against the wall, imprisoning him in between them. He responded to Iwaizumi's every single kiss. His body moved in a motion he couldn't understand, his muscles were coordinating to a rhythm so obscure, he couldn't quite put a finger on it. His hands snaked around Iwaizumi's neck, his fingers glided smoothly as he played with his hair. Tears streamed from his hazel eyes, as he stared aimlessly at the vaulted ceiling. Oikawa only had a little bit of sanity left when Iwaizumi sucked on his neck - his weakest spot. Soft moans escaped his lips, as he cried silently.

The pungent smell of Iwaizumi's cologne assaulted his nostrils. Its redolence reminded Oikawa of the smell of honey, it was so sweet and pleasing that a smile creased his lips. "Hajime~" he whimpered, his voice came out in muffled screams, as he buried his face on Iwaizumi's broad shoulders. Oikawa recoiled a bit when Iwaizumi bit his earlobes, it sent chills to every part of his body, his arms tightened around him as Oikawa pressed his body against Iwaizumi's.

"Do you still want this? Do you still want me?" Iwaizumi's raspy voice was cringeworthy, yet it was so manly that it made Oikawa's body heat up.

"Fuck, I need this! I need you! Three years and my body still longs for you. It still longs for your touch." He confided as Iwaizumi carried him and slammed Oikawa on his bed. He was looking intensely at the brunette, his eyes never letting go of his gaze, as he bared himself.

Oikawa drooled at Iwaizumi's beautiful body. It had developed through the years, his muscles toned perfectly and his complexion had the sexiest touch of tan he had ever seen. The ray of sunlight that passed through the curtains gave Iwaizumi's body a mesmerizing glow. He was like a god sent from heaven to make love to him, and only him. Oikawa couldn't help but bite his lower lip as he felt the temperature rising up.

Iwaizumi was already naked when he crawled on top of him, his skin giving warmth to Oikawa, as he pressed their bodies together. A smile traced his lips as tears streamed from Iwaizumi's eyes. They sealed their lips with a kiss, washing away all the feelings of hurt and rage they felt for the past three years. Iwaizumi was too aggressive, the bed made creaking sounds as Iwaizumi attacked every bit of Oikawa's body. "H-Hey Iwa-chan calm down, Czari and Kiyoko-san might hear us." Oikawa's cheeks heat up, his eyes were still wet in tears as he looked at Iwaizumi, who wore a devilish grin.

"Relax, love. I'm sure they already left for Czari's taekwondo class." He purred.

Oikawa gasped when Iwaizumi took in his aching member inside his mouth. He flustered as he looked at Iwaizumi, who bobbed his head up and down, swallowing his shaft. It was the first time, and he was dumbfounded at how skilled Iwaizumi's tongue was; his mouth felt good, and Oikawa couldn't suppress his moans as he arched his back and gripped the sheets. He heard gag reflexes as Iwa sucked it deep, so deep that it touched his throat. Oikawa's sweat was already dripping and he couldn't help but shoot his first load.

Iwaizumi slithered upwards, he opened his mouth filled with Oikawa's semen as he grinned. He attacked his lips once more. The kiss was passionate, and the both of them relished the salty taste of Oikawa's thick liquid. "I love you, Oi, after all these years, I still do. And I'm hoping you still feel the same way as I do." Iwaizumi's eyes were sad, Oikawa felt a pang on his chest as he stared at his desolate expression.

"You dimwit! I wouldn't be on this bed with you if I was feeling otherwise." The both of them smiled. They sealed each other's lips with a kiss once more, feeling elated more than ever. The kiss lasted a few minutes, until Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa by the hips and forcefully made him lie on his belly. He was about to lower himself on his bum hole when Oikawa protested.

"Stop right there, Hajime! This time, we're doing it my way, I'm in charge." A devilish smirk was painted on his face, as he switched places with Iwaizumi. The bottom jolted in pain as Oikawa inserted his dick inside him. The both of them were already about to climax when they heard something that compelled them to stop in motion.

_The doorbell rang..._

"Fuck!" Iwaizumi cursed under his breath as he hastily went out of bed and gathered his clothes. "You need to get dressed as well, love." Iwaizumi smiled at Oikawa as he slipped into his shirt, not knowing that it was turned over the wrong side.

The two of them immediately went to the main door, their locks disheveled. They were still panting and catching their breaths as sweat dripped uncontrollably from their body. The doorbell chimed continuously and Iwaizumi's brows furrowed, aggravated by how impatient the person was.

He opened the door and they were regarded by the forbearing facade of Wakatoshi Ushijima. He grabbed Oikawa forcefully, his hand gripped tight around his arms, causing him to flinch. "I told you to get to know him, not live with him, you idiot!"

"Let go of him!" Iwaizumi curled his fists into a tight ball as his jaw clenched, he viciously grabbed Ushijima by his collar.

"We're going home." Ushijima pushed him aside, as he straightened the faint creases on his shirt. He grabbed Oikawa by his hand, who looked at Iwaizumi with an apologetic look.

The silence inside Ushijima's car was deafening, and it made Oikawa uncomfortable. He looked at his side were Ushijima was, his expression was scary, and Oikawa didn't wanna mess with him. His phone beeped, as it flashed Iwaizumi's name. He was surprised that he hadn't change his phone number after all these years. He opened the message and a smile crossed his lips:

_"Be ready tomorrow night. I'm picking you up at 6:00. I love you."_


	19. Love Wasn't Done Just Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Like air, he came back into my life. But like air, he vanished without a trace."

The night sky was a cold, vast expanse, which enveloped the earth like a blanket littered with small dots of fire, too far away to be felt, but burning nonetheless. Its darkness emphasized the array of heavenly bodies shimmering like fine glitters, giving it a youthful glow. It appeared mysterious, eerie, calm, tranquil, but most of all entrancing. Oikawa can't help but look at it and wondered if there are other life forms up there.

His eyes landed on his Patek Philippe wristwatch, checking the time as he fidgeted on the front porch, growing impatient while waiting for his date. He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his trench coat, leaning against one of the posts in his old suburban house in Miyagi.

Oikawa missed the feeling of the cold, night breeze touching his skin, it was nothing compared to the one in Tokyo - polluted, irritating, and very unwelcoming.

A faint smile traced his lips when his gaze caught the glimpse of a used tire, hanging loosely by a rope attached to the branch of the oak tree in their front yard. It brought him a lot of memories from his childhood, how he and Iwaizumi used to goof around and bicker who's swinging and who's pushing. He swiveled his head to the wooden fence's gate when he heard the irritating honk of Iwaizumi's car.

A tall, dark yet extremely handsome guy with a manly physique rushed outside of it as he opened the door for Oikawa. Iwaizumi was wearing a jet black mackintosh coat, a white inner polo, and a pair of off-white jeans. The light from the lampposts caught his face, emphasizing his mesmerizing features, his manly smile stirred a peculiar feeling in Oikawa. His eyes were intense, the pair green orbs in his eye sockets were like hypnotic gems, like portals to another dimension that could lure every being that stares at them. Iwaizumi was captivating to say the very least. 

"Sorry, love. It took an hour for me to drive from Tokyo to Miyagi, plus, I have to look extra attractive for my date." He saw him wink in his peripheral vision. Iwaizumi's teasing expression made Oikawa flush a lovely shade of rose. He tried to ignore the man and went inside his car, folding his right leg over the other, as his fingers fiddled on his lap.

"Can we eat at Granny's diner?" He pouted, looking over his shoulders as Iwaizumi revved the engine and stepped on the accelerator.

A faint giggle escaped from Iwaizumi's lips, as his right hand found its way to Oikawa's, intertwining his fingers as he spoke, "I can't do that. I already have plans for the both of us for tonight." A sweet smile crossed Oikawa's lips, as he stared at Iwaizumi in awe. The swarm of butterflies inside his stomach fluttered uncontrollably, tickling his insides, as he chuckled faintly.

The drive was slow and smooth. As much as it irritated Oikawa, he couldn't help but blush at how extra careful Iwaizumi was driving, knowing that he is with him, he felt safe and secure. They went downhill where they passed by several suburban houses, their designs were almost alike. Oikawa's face collapsed into a frown as he cocked a brow, tilting his head lightly. He batted his eyes a couple times as he turned to Iwaizumi, who pulled the car into a stop. "A-An old, abandoned building?" Oikawa swallowed the lump that formed inside his throat, starting to sweat buckets, as he scrutinized the building in terror.

"Iwa~!" He gasped, his palm covered his mouth, as Iwaizumi tied a handkerchief around his eyes, blinding him. Oikawa couldn't see a thing, and he was already starting to panic. He grabbed Iwaizumi by the arm and clung to him, his body quivering when he thought he heard a baby's laugh. "Iwa-chan let's go home!" Tears started to stream down from his eyes, but they were absorbed into the cloth around his head. He nudged Iwaizumi by the elbow when the man chuckled at his expense.

"Relax, just hold on tight." Iwaizumi smiled reassuringly, even though Oikawa couldn't see him. He planted a small kiss on the tip of his nose, which made Oikawa blush, much to his delight.

Iwaizumi guided Oikawa, as they ascended up the staircases. It was dark, so Iwaizumi had to be extra careful as he groped for his phone inside his pocket, and activated the flash light. Oikawa kept sneezing, and he couldn't help but feel guilty. "Iwa-can, are we there yet?" He whined like a child, his body still jarring abruptly.

"Relax, love. Even Czari's a lot braver than you." Oikawa was quick to chop Iwaizumi's side as he laughed, the noise echoed for quite a while before stopping. "Ow! Ow! Okay, sorry." Iwaizumi stifled his laughs until they reached the rooftop.

Oikawa shivered even more as the gush of wind blew directly at them, he could tell that they were already in an open area. His mouth fell agape when Iwaizumi removed the blindfold. Tears edged his eyes when he saw a table beautifully decorated with blue laces. It was set beautifully with candles shining bright on top of it. "Y-You did this?" He smiled, enveloping Iwaizumi into a tight hug.

"Anything for my sunshine."

Iwaizumi and Oikawa peacefully ate the food on the table, with only the candle lights and the shimmering stars giving light to the both of them. Iwaizumi smiled as he caught himself staring at Oikawa, enjoying his meal. His face caught the light of the candles, emphasizing his features. He had this ethereal visage that made Iwaizumi think he is the luckiest guy on the planet.

"What?!" He was cut off from his trance when the brunette pouted, earning a chuckle from Iwaizumi at his expense.

"I already accepted the deal. I'm going to work with you and your company."

"Thank you, Phoenix-san." Oikawa stood up as he curtsied. Iwaizumi scoffed at the ring of his pseudo-name, much to Oikawa's amusement.

"When will you stop calling me that, Shittykawa?" He pouted, his fingers cupping his chin, as he propped his elbows on top of the table.

"I don't know!" Oikawa shrugged, "Phoenix is a nice name, to be honest."

Iwaizumi shook his head, as he laughed at Oikawa's silly antics. He was beginning to feel and act natural with him again, and Iwaizumi couldn't be more happy about it. He wanted to make it up to him, he knew that of all people in Oikawa's life, he was the one most capable of breaking him, and fixing him all the same. Iwaizumi squeezed Oikawa's hand as he knelt in front of him and smiled.

"A part of me died when you left. Just like you, I stopped living, I just existed. I distracted myself in my brand of art, but that wasn't enough; there was always this something that was missing and I knew that it was you. The days and nights were meaningless, the weeks, months, and years became pointless. I have died every single day, because the thought of you gone was too much for me to take. When Czari came I found a brand new sunshine in my life, but deep inside, my heart still longs for the original. I may have a kid screaming 'Daddy!' all day long, but guess what? I was never content; I was still looking for that baby who would squeal 'Iwa-chan~!' nonstop. Life was no life without you, Shittykawa. When I saw you for the first time in three years, I got fueled up. You hated me, but you had me going again. I tried so bad to forget you, but boy, how could I forget someone I've been with my whole life? How could I forget someone so dear to me? Band-aids and 'sorrys' cannot fix everything I've done to you. But at least, allow me to mend you. I can't go another day without you, Oi. Those three years were days of darkness, and I'm so glad I survived them to live to this moment. Please don't leave me again. Please don't go." 

"Don't let me..." Oikawa stuttered, his eyes welled with tears.

"If you'll give me a chance, I'll never waste it. If you give _us_ another shot, you'll never regret it. This time, I'll love you even better. This time, I'll never let you go. I'll hold you close, always and forever." 

"I-Iwa-chan? Wha–"

 _"Will you be mine again, Oikawa Tōru?"_ Iwaizumi brought Oikawa's hands to his lips as he patiently waited for Oikawa's answer.

"Yes, Hajime! Yes!" Oikawa shrieked, letting out a gleeful chuckle as he enveloped his arms around him. Iwaizumi lifted him and twirled in circles, as he sealed their lips with a kiss.

_A kiss under the moonlight. A kiss full of hopes and dreams. A kiss that signifies forever._

**•••**

Their relationship worked perfectly fine the second time around. Love was sweeter and stronger this time. Challenges were inevitable, but they worked their way through them. Oikawa and Iwaizumi coped up on their lapses during their first try. Eventually, it was nothing but pure bliss.

Oikawa continued playing for the national team. Iwaizumi pursued his career as an artist, finally revealing his identity as Iwaizumi Hajime and not the Phoenix. They were each other's biggest fans, their love made them successful individually, and as a tandem. 

However, Love played its silly tricks on the both of them once more. Like Oikawa said, maybe the two of them are Love's favorite victims. Love still has a few tricks up its sleeves for our favorite couple.

_Love wasn't done with them just yet._

Iwaizumi grew worried when Oikawa stopped responding to his texts. One day Oikawa stopped keeping in touch with him. Iwaizumi didn't know what the reason was. Did he do something wrong? Impossible. He kept his promise to love him better the second time around. He kept his promise to treasure every moment with him and not waste a chance.

_It was Oikawa who gave up on 'always and forever'._

I am Iwaizumi Hajime. And this is my tale. Just when I thought that I found my happy ending, that's when I also realized that my story has just begun.

Love? It's bullshit. It's nothing but an endless pit. Once you fall in it, there is no coming back. Once you fall for it, you will never be the same again. 

They say Love deserves a second chance, because it wasn't ready the first time around. But that's not true.

Getting back with my best friend was a mistake. It was all just a big mistake. It was the best mistake I had, but it was the worst decision I made, all the same.

_Like air, he came back into my life. But like air, he also vanished without a trace._


	20. The Darkest Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One unfortunate event answered his heart's question for the last three hundred and sixty five days.

Iwaizumi slammed the shot glass hard on the countertop, making the people around him cringe, as he flailed his finger to get the bartender's attention. "One more," his voice was tipsy, his surroundings began to spin as a soft grunt escaped his lips.

"Iwaizumi-san, you're drunk. Let's get you home." Noya had a hint of concern in his voice. He draped an arm around Iwaizumi's shoulders, as he tried to help him stand up, but the stubborn man wouldn't budge.

"Leave me alone, Noya!" He gibbed, gulping the alcohol down his throat as his eyes stung, welling with tears again.

_It's day three hundred sixty-five..._

Iwaizumi hadn't lose count since the day he left. It's been a year already since he was left hanging, suspended in thin air. Iwaizumi still remembered the pain and anxiety he felt when Oikawa vanished without a trace. It was as if that day was yesterday. Everything was fresh, the heartaches, and whatnots. He kept questioning himself: _Where did I go wrong?_

Did Oikawa stop loving him? Did he grow tired of him? Did he do something wrong?

Iwaizumi's head felt like it was about to explode, as he tried to seek for answers once more. He never felt so betrayed and confused in his whole life. He never felt so alone and isolated.

For three hundred and sixty-five days, he kept asking himself. For three hundred and sixty-five nights, he drank the pain away and cried himself silently to sleep.

It's quite ironic how someone can feel so heavy, when he knew he was empty all along.

"What the fuck did I do, Noya-san?" Iwaizumi started to sob, his face was buried on his forearm, as he asked himself the same question he had been asking himself for a year already. "What the hell happened? Why did he leave?"

Nishinoya's eyes widened, his mouth falling agape, not knowing what to say. He sighed as he patted his superior's back. Nishinoya saw how broken Iwaizumi was ever since Oikawa vanished. He was never enthusiastic again; he was back to being the stone-cold and lifeless Iwaizumi Hajime. The Phoenix was reborn, he was stubborn once more, he only devoted his time to his work and nothing else. He never saw him smile again, never saw him laugh, he never saw his jolly expression anew.

"I cannot answer that," he smiled bitterly. Seeing his good friend hurting like this was too much for him to take. "Maybe he had his own reasons."

"And it would take too much of his time to tell me them?" Iwaizumi slurred. His expression turned sour, as he flashed a mean stare at Nishinoya.

"I don't know," he replied casually. "He loves you, Iwaizumi-san, and I'm pretty sure vanishing like that was never easy for him."

"I should've known before I got back with him. He was just trouble waiting to happen again." Iwaizumi clenched his jaw as his finger ran in circles around the brim of the shot glass. "Getting back with him was nothing but a mistake. He already left me once, so what made me think that he couldn't do it again?"

Nishinoya's face collapsed into a melancholic frown. He tried to take the shot glass away from him, but Iwaizumi was quick to react.

"Just let me be, Noya!" He snapped, making the young man cringe, as he sighed in defeat. Iwaizumi demanded for a refill, as he felt his head pound so hard he thought it was gonna explode. There was nothing but bitterness and hatred within him. He reverted to the monster he once was, and it was all because of his best mistake - the worst decision he has ever made. It was all because of one choice. The choice of giving their love a second shot. The choice of believing in always and forever.

_"Oikawa's nothing but a nightmare dressed like a daydream."_

The two of them fell silent for a while. The only thing that cast noise was the loud music coming from the amplifiers. The dance floor was filled with different kinds of people. People who raved and partied, people who were happy. Iwaizumi was clearly out of place, he was sulky and gloomy, he was hurt and broken.

He fished for his phone inside his pocket when he felt it vibrate. It was an incoming call from an unknown number. What could it be this time? He thought, his brows furrowed, as he answered the call.

Iwaizumi was greeted by a tiny and delicate voice from the other line. He perked up as tears threatened to fall from his eyes; he missed this voice so much. _"Daddy?"_ Czari's tone was sad, she sounded like she was about to cry. Iwaizumi couldn't help but feel bad as he exited the club and went to the parking lot to hear his daughter better.

"H-How's my baby girl?" His voice cracked. Iwaizumi broke into tears and cried silently, a feeling of strong guilt knocking on his heart when he heard his daughter's voice for the first time since last year.

_"I'm fine, Daddy. I miss you~!"_

"I miss you too, little one." Iwaizumi propped his right hand against his car's window, shifting his weight to his hand, as he leaned against it. Iwaizumi stared blankly at his feet as if there's something interesting down there. Tears continued to stream from his eyes down to his chin, as he listened intently to Czari, talking on the line.

 _"Can you visit me now, Daddy?"_ Czari started to cry this time, and it hurt Iwaizumi so much that he bit his lower lip as he looked up, staring at the star-studded skies. He heard someone talk to Czari in the background, probably Kiyoko, telling her that he couldn't do that since it was already late. _"Daddy? Please?"_

"Does it really have to be now, baby?"

 _"Yes, Oba-san said it's my birthday today."_ Iwaizumi froze, hastily putting the call on hold as he checked the date: _October 22, 2020 - Czari's fourth birthday._

Iwaizumi cussed as he groped for his keys and climbed into his car, starting the engine and driving out of the parking lot. _How could I forget my own daughter's birthday?_ He cussed under his breath, eyes fixated on the road. He was still a bit sober as he drove.

 _"Did you forget my birthday, Daddy?"_ Czari sobbed, her soft cries faltered as Kiyoko took over the phone.

_"Iwaizumi-kun, your daughter's so mad you forgot her birthday."_

"S-Sorry Kiyoko-san, tell her I'm on my way."

**•••**

The drive seemed longer this time, maybe because he was both depressed and troubled. It was the first time he is going to visit Czari since he started bringing Oikawa. The little girl didn't have the slightest idea that her favorite 'Oji-chan' evaporated into thin air. The thought of Oikawa made Iwaizumi's brows furrow. The night skies matched his feelings, as it made rumbling sounds, threatening an oncoming storm.

The car started clunking, and it shook vehemently. Iwaizumi instinctively stirred the wheel to the sidelines to avoid any collision with oncoming vehicles. He gasped as he bumped his head on the steering wheel, emitting a boisterous honking noise as his ride stopped.

"Shit!" He cussed, hopping off the car, as he went to check what happened wrong. Iwaizumi ran a hand down his face as his fingers brushed his disheveled hair in sheer frustration. The battery has run dry, and he wasn't sure if there was any shop for car accessories nearby. Iwaizumi practically kicked the bumper as he cupped his face. _What a time to be alive!_ He thought.

The skies roared once more, as it started to drizzle, spontaneously, it poured so hard that Iwaizumi was already soaking wet in less than a minute. Every raindrop felt like a miniature hammer. A wet cacophony boomed in the skies, as he heard a series of thunderclaps.

Iwaizumi took off his coat and used it to cover his head, shielding him from the pouring rain. He knew he won't make it to the vacation house in time, and he needed some place to stay. His peripheral vision caught the glimpse of a small light burning in the woods. He squinted his eyes to see a clearer view and realized that it was coming from a two-story house, only a few steps from where he was at.

Iwaizumi fished for his phone and turned on the flashlight, lighting his way as he hauled himself into the woods. He saw two silhouettes standing by what seemed to be the living room. They were some sort of dancing to the tune of a faint, romantic sound coming from the phonograph.

He reached the front porch, and the wooden floorboard emitted faint creaking sounds with every step he took. Iwaizumi lazily knocked three times on the door until a beautiful, old woman, probably in her late 60s, opened the door for him and greeted him with a smile. "Yes?"

"I was wondering if maybe I could stay in your abode until the storm has passed, Ma'am?" Iwaizumi blushed, he was embarrassed when the woman chuckled lightly, as she gestured him to come inside.

"Of course, dear!"

Footsteps came rushing towards the room and from the door frame, emerged an old man who was smiling automatically when he saw Iwaizumi. The old man looked familiar, the way his lips creased into a smile reminded him of someone. His hazel eyes resembled the vividness of Oikawa's. He shrugged the thought away, as he faked a smile. "Good evening, sir."

The old man flailed his hand, gesturing him to stand by. "Wait," he smiled warmly, "I'll go grab some dry clothes for you." Iwaizumi mouthed a simple 'thanks' as he hugged himself, his body quivering because of his drenched clothes.

Iwaizumi looked around the white surroundings. The whole house smelled of cinnamon rolls, its pungent smell swarmed Iwaizumi's senses, and a smile crossed his mouth. His eyes were fixed at a large image of a handsome young man that hung alone on the huge white wall in the living room.

_The image significantly reminded Iwaizumi of Oikawa. And there he stood staring: breathless._

He was snapped off his reverie when the old man chuckled. "That was me, when I was younger." He said smugly, handing the pair of clean clothes to him. Iwaizumi smiled as he gladly accepted them. He was left alone to change into the clothes given to him. It was a pair of boxer shorts and a grey tank top with loose armholes, flaunting Iwaizumi's buff arms - it was a set of clothes clearly not appropriate for a 60-year old man to wear. He shrugged the thought away, and assumed they had a grandson or something.

Just as he was able to change, the old woman emerged from the door frame. She took Iwaizumi's soggy clothes from him and smiled, "Let me hang your clothes so that they will dry, Iwaizumi-kun." 

Iwaizumi's eyes widened. From what he remembered, he hasn't introduced himself just yet. His mouth fell agape, as a lot of thoughts rushed into his mind. "No, it can't be," he whispered softly as he brushed off the unwanted thoughts.

"You don't remember us, do you?" The old man was already leaning against the door frame. He had a smug smirk plastered on his face as he cocked a brow on the still bewildered young man.

_"Y-You're Oikawa's grandparents!"_

The couple chuckled at Iwaizumi's expense. His eyes directly reverted to the huge picture frame on the white wall. The chocolate-brown locks, the hazel eyes, the lips - that's why everything about the man reminded him of Oikawa; they were exactly alike.

"Do you want to see him, Iwaizumi-kun?" The old man sighed, his expression suddenly became sad and dejected. Iwaizumi's heart raced, his lips started to tremble, as he stuttered, "H-He's here?" He earned a faint nod in response, swallowing the lump forming inside his throat. Despite of the temperature dropping, Iwaizumi started to sweat. He wasn't sure if he was ready to meet Oikawa after a year of his absence.

"He's upstairs," Iwaizumi froze. The tensed expression on his face disappeared as soon as it came when the old woman handed him a pair of sanitary gloves and a surgical mask. The couple had theirs as well, putting them on, as Iwaizumi was glued on his feet, a quizzical expression written beautifully on his face.

Iwaizumi looked at them skeptically, afraid he was going into a room filled with some sort of contagious disease. Seeing his worried face, the man informed, "Do not worry. It's not for you, it's for his protection.

With their assurance, Iwaizumi wore the gloves and the mask before he followed the couple upstairs.  He slowly turned the doorknob, silently opened the door and cautiously stepped in. Iwaizumi almost stopped breathing the moment he saw him.

The answer to his questions for the past year was right before his very eyes.

Tears threatened to fall from Iwaizumi's eyes as he stared at the young man he had always loved, even after he left the second time around.  He was looking at the most handsome man he had ever laid his eyes on, the man he had missed so much. The man who was his sunshine - still his sunshine. The man who shined for him during his darkest days.

_The man who added vivid colors to his, then, monochrome world._

But something was different. Dressed in plain light blue hospital gown, his sunshine looked so pale and fragile. His beautiful chestnut curls were kept on one side of his head, as he slept peacefully with an IV and some sort of liquid medicines attached on his right hand.

Like sunshine, his gentle and beautiful features held the certain brightness that made Iwaizumi forget all the pain that he felt for the past year.

Finally letting go of every ounce of pride and pain that he held and bottled up for the past few months, Iwaizumi let himself cry silently. He cried and cried until he couldn't hold it anymore and decided to take a step towards Oikawa, but a hand held his arm, stopping him from doing so.

Iwaizumi looked over his shoulders, tears still streaming from his eyes. The old man man shook his head, "Come with me and we'll explain to you everything," he said. They headed downstairs and settled themselves on the leather couch.

"I see so much pain and melancholy in your eyes. Where do you want me to begin?" The old man cleared his throat.

"W-What happened?"

"Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia, Stage 3. Oikawa was diagnosed a few days after your semifinal match against Karasuno." Iwaizumi's eyes widened, he shook his head in disbelief. He was oblivious all this time.

"He didn't tell me after all these years. So that's why he disappeared? L-Last year?"

The old man nodded, "Yes. At this day, last year, it was the last time you saw each other. It was supposed to be the day he was gonna leave and go to the States for his treatment, but he insisted to spend the day with you and just fly the day after. He said it was your daughter's birthday, and he wanted to say goodbye."

"But he didn't." Iwaizumi said in between his sobs. He cupped his face in frustration, as he hated himself even more.

"Because he didn't want to. He didn't want to say goodbye because he wanted so much to come back and see you again. He was afraid that he won't be able to come back, but you had him going. You were his motivation to recover, Iwaizumi-kun. Not a day has passed that he didn't think of you. Well, except when his memory deteriorated."

"What do you mean his memory deteriorated?" His lips trembled, the man flashed a sadder expression, followed by a comforting smile.

"I'm not sure if he still remembers you, Iwaizumi-kun. As each day passed by, the dosage of his medicines increased to further control the number of lymphocytes in his body. The doctor warned us before, he'll only be able to remember a few details and a few people in his life. And it did happen, he even forgot that he played volleyball, and that he was a national team player."

Iwaizumi broke down into tears.

He hated himself because for a year, he hated a man who was selfless. A man who loved him more than his life. A man who chose to hide everything from him because he never wanted to hurt him.

"Don't lose hope, Iwaizumi-kun..." The old man rubbed his back, "...he may still remember you."

An eerie silence enveloped the two of them. Iwaizumi was still sulking when his attention was caught by Oikawa's grandmother, who had a leather box in her hand. Iwaizumi furrowed his brows as she handed it to him, it had scribbles on top of them. On the side, it had his name written on thick black marker: _Iwa-chan._

_"Inside are letters he wrote while he was away. He said every letter was related to you. He wanted me to give it to you once we meet, in case he wasn't around anymore to hand it personally."_


	21. Letters to That Special Someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi reads the letters inside the box, and what he found out made his world crumble to dust.

Iwaizumi paced hastily around the room. His thoughts trailing off once more, as tears cascaded down his cheeks. He settled himself on the window sofa; the ray of sunlight that seeped through the drapes gave his tears a crystal-like impression.

He hugged the throw pillow to his chest, as Iwaizumi silently cried. His eyes were fixated on the sun creeping slowly into view. It was a sight to behold, but it was unappreciated because of the heavy feeling in Iwaizumi's chest.

He was still staring aimlessly at the horizon. His eyes were puffy and the thick layer of skin under them voiced out the fact that he didn't get so much sleep the night before.

Faint knocks on his door snapped him out of his reverie. He swiveled his head towards the door frame, where little Czari entered his room. Iwaizumi opened his arms, as he hugged Czari tight, planting a small kiss on her forehead as the little girl shrieked, "Daddy, you're here! When did you arrive?"

"Just this morning," Iwaizumi faked a smile, his fingers brushing Czari's curls. "Belated happy birthday, baby."

"Thank you, Daddy!" Iwaizumi carefully put her down, as he stooped down to her level and patted her head lightly.

"You should eat your breakfast now. Off you go." He waved his right hand at Czari, who tilted her head to the side and pouted.

"How about you, Daddy?"

"Daddy's still full. I'll just eat later, okay?" Czari nodded her head lightly as she danced in circles while heading out.

Iwaizumi heaved a deep breath, as he watched his daughter's retreating figure. He closed the door behind her, as his peripheral vision caught the glimpse of a box, sitting idly on top of his bedside table.

It was the box Oikawa's grandmother gave him last night. Iwaizumi mindlessly brought himself to get the box. He was holding it tight in his hands for quite some time, until his tears drenched its cover. He harshly wiped them away and sat on the window sofa once more, removing the lid as he took out the first thing he saw inside it.

_It was a picture of him and Oikawa when they were young._

April 26, 2000 - the date the photo was taken. Iwaizumi stared at it for quite a while as a faint chuckle escaped from his lips. Silly poses became Oikawa's trademark, and it never changed - Iwaizumi never bothered because he looked cute anyway.

Iwaizumi's attention was caught by the letters underneath the photo. The box was full of them. He took one out and shoved the photo inside his pocket, opening the letter as tears started edging his eyes again.

_October 29, 2019_

_It's been a week since I left. It's been a week since I came here. I didn't even say goodbye. I didn't want to say goodbye._

_What am I even writing? I don't know what this is for, but I only have a pen and paper in my room. I only have a pen and paper to listen to me. I have been isolated from almost everyone, it feels like I'm quarantined. My leukemia made things much worse. I'm highly sensitive now, everything around me is sterilized a couple times._

_I feel like my meds weaken me, I feel like they deteriorate things. I miss Japan, I miss home. I miss my Iwa-chan._

_~ Oikawa_

A melancholic smile traced Iwaizumi's lips. He put the letter aside, as he took another, it was a bit wet and the ink had smudged all over the paper. Iwaizumi silently read the second one, as he nuzzled his head against the window pane.

_November 3, 2019_

_I just finished another round of therapy. I am hurting right now because my potential bone marrow donor backed out. I thought I was gonna heal faster than expected. I thought I was gonna go back home after my supposed transplant and see Iwa-chan again._

_I miss him. He might be hating me right now. I want to say sorry to him, for not being strong and brave enough to tell him everything._

_Don't worry, Iwa-chan, I'll get well very soon. I'm so excited to see you once more. I hope you don't cheat on me because if you do, I'll kill your hoe when I get back._

_You're mine Iwa-chan. Only mine._

_~ Oikawa_

**•••**

_December 17, 2019_

_I'm already losing so much color Iwa-chan. I'm so pale, I look like a vampire. I need some sunlight, but they won't let me out._

_I'm already weak, Iwa-chan. If you're here, I know you'd tell me to be strong. And I will be strong, for you. Because I will see you again, right? And we'll get married. We'll take care of Czari together and adopt more babies. We'll have a happy family, Iwa-chan. Wait for me._

_~ Oikawa_

Iwaizumi ran a hand down his face as he clenched his jaw. He stared aimlessly at the bunch of pine trees that overlooked the window. His hand gripped the letter tightly as he cried.

He kissed the letter and opened another one. Iwaizumi shook his head vehemently as he felt his heart being shattered.

_December 24, 2019_

_It's Christmas Eve, and I never felt less Christmas-y my whole life. I have a couple of gifts inside my room, but none of them could ever rival the gift of you._

_I hope I can spend the holidays with you, Iwa-chan. I hope I can be with you one last time._

Iwaizumi stopped as he noticed the smudge of the ink on the paper once more. He assumed that Oikawa has been crying while writing this letter.

_I take back everything I said in the past letters, Iwa-chan. I'm never gonna make it. The medicines and the therapies they're giving me were to no avail. I'm weakening now. I just want to rest. I'm tired already._

_I take back everything. Please be happy, please find someone you'll spend your whole life with. Please find a girl who'll love you like the way I did. Who'll love Czari and your future kids. Yes, I highly demand it to be a woman, Iwa-chan. I'll be the only gay guy in your life! Lol!_

_Please be happy, Iwa-chan. When you find out sooner or later, I hope you'll forgive me. I don't know if I'll last long enough to go back to Japan, but know that I love you very much._

_When I'm in heaven, I want to look down here on Earth and see that you're happy._

_I just want you to be happy. Even if that happiness doesn't include me anymore._

_~ Oikawa_

Iwaizumi read through a bunch of letters Oikawa wrote. His tears were falling nonstop.

He noticed that gradually, Oikawa's penmanship worsened, as if he had forgotten how to write. He stopped writing his name at the end of every letter, like he always did.

 _What's happening?_ Iwaizumi's brows furrowed, as he whispered to himself. He opened another letter and the content broke every last piece of him into fine fragments. _Iwaizumi's greatest fear was confirmed._

_January 13, 2020_

_There's this man always appearing in my dreams. I don't know his name, but I feel like my heart recognized his features._

_He has dark, spiked-up hair and his eyebrows are thicker than the average ones (haha). His eyes have a lovely shade of green. They're intense, it's as if they held the whole universe in them._

_I really feel like I know this guy. I tried to ask my parents, but they wouldn't tell. They told me my doctor said it would help my recovery if my mind's less preoccupied with things and people from the past._

_In one dream, I tossed to him, and he slammed the ball hard in the other side of the court. I made a perfect toss, but god, I don't even remember playing volleyball._

_These inconvenient memory lapses are very frustrating. My mother said it's because of the medicines they're giving me. They affect my memories so much, to the point that I forget significant details from my past._

_They even have to remind me every single time what my name is. I'm not gonna write it at the end of this letter because I still have to ask my mom for it once more._

**•••**

_February 24, 2020_

_I'm finally going back to Japan! Nothing has changed, but I insisted to spend my remaining days there. I don't want to die in a foreign land, let alone a hospital room._

_I'm going to stay at my grandparents' house. They'll take care of me until I can rest peacefully._

_I had a dream last night. The guy I've been seeing in my dreams lately was there as well. It felt so real because I was writing him letters and called him 'Iwa-chan'. Maybe that's his name, I hope I don't forget that._

_In my letters, I promised to fight for him. I promised him that I will live for him. I promised him to come back and see him again. He must be so damn special to me, but hey, I don't even know if he's real, or if I really know him._

_But if he is, I want to tell you 'Iwa-chan' that I tried. I tried to overcome this Chronic Leukemia that I have, but I'm tired already._

_My family's still not giving up. They're fools to think that I still have a chance. They're still searching for a bone marrow donor, but who the Hell would donate a bone marrow to a stranger like me, right?_

_Don't wait for me because I'm never gonna make it, but I want you to know that I died fighting._

_If you're there, Iwa-chan, if you really exist, I know that you made me feel so special. Thank you, Iwa-chan._

_~ Shittykawa (because you called me that)_

Iwaizumi hastily placed all the letters inside the box. He grabbed his Burberry trench coat that was on his bed, and put it on. He groped around for his keys inside the pockets, as he scampered his way to the garage.

Iwaizumi revved the engine, as he drove out of his vacation house. Panic struck his face, as he stepped on the accelerator with so much force. Tears already dried up around his eyes as he said to himself, _"I will wait until you fully recover. I will wait until you remember me once more..."_

_"I can wait forever, Oi, just promise me that you'll be there too."_


	22. On The Verge of Giving Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa doesn't remember, and he is downtrodden.

Iwaizumi knocked three times on the door and Oikawa's grandmother greeted him with a smile. "Welcome, Iwaizumi-kun." She gestured for him to come inside, and Iwaizumi removed his footwear as he hung his coat on the rack by the door.

"Your timing is perfect," The old woman smiled. The way her forehead creased when her facial muscles curved didn't even affect her timeless beauty. "Tōru is awake."

Iwaizumi's eyes brightened. He perked up and became nervous at the same time. This will be the first time he will talk to him after his condition worsened. A lot of unnecessary thoughts swarmed his mind, but Iwaizumi was quick to shrug them away.

The old woman handed him a new set of face mask and sanitary gloves, which he gladly accepted. Iwaizumi wore them and was about to ascend the stairs when Oikawa's grandmother stopped him. "Iwaizumi-kun, do you mind if I ask you a favor?"

"No, I don't mind at all." Iwaizumi shook his head vehemently in response, flailing his hands at the woman, as he flashed a sincere smile. "What is it, Obaa-san?"

"Follow me." The confused Iwaizumi followed her, as they went to the kitchen. He was just standing by the arch as he observed Oikawa's grandmother keenly.

She took a set of utensils from what seemed to be a sterilizing cabinet; filling the bowl with hot soup and placing it on a sterilized food tray. "My husband is usually the one to feed him, but he's in town right now, and I have house chores to do."

The old woman smiled as she approached Iwaizumi, "Can you help him eat his breakfast, Iwaizumi-kun?" Iwaizumi bobbed his head lightly as he took the tray from her. "Of course," a smile crossed his mouth as he excused himself and went upstairs.

Iwaizumi stopped momentarily as soon as he reached the lone door at the end of the hallway. He heaved a deep breath as he wet his lips. His heart beat erratically inside his chest. It almost felt like it was gonna break out of his rib cage at any moment.

He faintly knocked on the door before slowly turning the knob with his right hand, balancing the tray with the other. Iwaizumi slowly stepped inside the room, he was regarded by Oikawa, who looked so frail, but smiled nonetheless.

Iwaizumi almost felt like he was brought to another dimension. The way the sunlight caught Oikawa's face gave him an ethereal visage. He looked so heavenly, Iwaizumi thought he was an angel for a split-second.

"H-Hi," He stuttered, earning a light chuckle from the brunette, as Oikawa looked away.

"You can leave that on the bedside table, I'll eat later." Iwaizumi's face collapsed into a frown. Oikawa sounded nonchalant, he sounded so weird and that's when he realized how much his leukemia changed him in so many ways.

"But your grandmother told me you need to eat on time." Iwaizumi pursed his lips, expecting a retort from him. He was shocked when all Oikawa did was sigh, his eyes still avoiding his gaze.

An eerie silence enveloped the room. The only thing that made a sound was the dreaded beeping noises from the IV machine. Iwaizumi heard him sigh once more, as he finally looked at him, his expression was uninterested, and it pained Iwaizumi a bit.

"You sound like you're actually pushy," Oikawa rolled his eyes as he let out a huff of annoyance. "Give that to me, I'll take it from here."

"No, I'll help you eat." Iwaizumi sat at the empty chair just beside Oikawa's bed. He heard him murmur indistinct things, his expression looked so irked, but Iwaizumi ignored him.

"Scoot closer," he hissed. Oikawa was left with no choice but to follow. He felt several muscle pains as he moved. Iwaizumi felt like tearing up again, as he looked at him with pity.

"Ow~! It's too hot!" Oikawa pouted. Iwaizumi was startled, as he blew the scoop of soup on the spoon. "Sorry!" He hastily handed him the bottled water as he mentally cursed himself.

"I don't remember you introducing yourself," Oikawa smiled. "What's your name?"

Iwaizumi's whole world crumbled. He stared wide-eyed at him, as his eyes began to sting. His hands were already shaking and tears threatened to fall from his eyes. He cleared his throat before he looked back at Oikawa, who had one brow raised as he patiently waited for his answer.

"Iwaizumi Hajime."

Oikawa smiled. His gaze averted from Iwaizumi to the IV beside him, and back to Iwaizumi again. "That's a nice name. Why are you here, by the way? Did we happen to know each other before?"

"Uhh...yeah!" Iwaizumi smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck as he looked at Oikawa, who had an apologetic look on his face.

"I'm sorry I can't remember anything about you. I'm guessing my grandparents already told you that my disease made me forget significant things from my past." Tears cascaded from his hazel eyes, as Oikawa pouted. He clenched his jaw and curled his fists so tight, he was sure it would leave imprints afterwards.

"H-Hey don't cry!"

"Do you mind telling me what we are? How did we know each other and the like?" Oikawa's tone was pleading. He looked at Iwaizumi intently, as the man hung his head low.

"T-There's really not much to tell," he lied, thinking it would be better for Oikawa if he remembered things by himself. "I'm just your teammate from Seijoh."

"So you play volleyball too, huh?" Iwaizumi nodded his head as Oikawa smiled. "I really can't believe I was a volleyball player. I don't even feel any fascination with it right now."

Iwaizumi shook his head in disbelief. His expression turned grim and sour. Never had he thought this day would come; where Oikawa would say that he never liked volleyball.

"I can actually feel like there's something more between us. You're holding back, aren't you? Why?"

Iwaizumi was silenced for a moment. He looked up at the vaulted ceiling, as he tried to search for the right words to say. "It would be better if you remember things yourself, you know."

Oikawa sighed in defeat as he dragged himself out of bed. Iwaizumi hastily put the tray on the bedside table as he approached to help him. "No, I can manage Hajime-san." Oikawa smiled, he went near the floor-to-ceiling glass window of his room which offered the view of a small town by the cliff. He was distracting himself with the view, feeling a little awkward with the conversation he was having with Iwaizumi.

Oikawa's hands were tightly kept at his back. His gaze was centered in the overlooking view of the small town by the cliff. "Tell me, Hajime-san, was I a good player?" He smiled, pivoting his head towards Iwaizumi who perked up a bit.

"Y-Yes!" He exclaimed, standing up as he crossed his hands to his chest. "You were dubbed as the Great King! Your tosses were precise and you brought out the best in your spikers."

Oikawa tilted his head lightly as he shifted his weight on one leg. His lips cracked a smile, as he turned around and settled on the window sofa. "And you? What position do you play?"

"W-Wing Spiker." Iwaizumi stuttered. He looked down to his feet as he swallowed the lump forming inside his throat. "I-I'm the team's ace."

"Really?!" Oikawa beamed. His eyes held the brightest gleam Iwaizumi has ever seen. Oikawa brought his hands together and clapped like a child, energetically. His lofty mood somewhat put Iwaizumi at ease.

"You must be so great, Hajime-san!" Oikawa smiled.

"Nahh," Iwaizumi shrugged his shoulders. "My skills weren't all me. Partly, it was because of you. _You were the one responsible of bringing out the best in me every game."_

For a split-second, there seemed to be an ecstatic look on Iwaizumi's face, but it quickly disappeared as soon as it came. Oikawa had a wistful expression, and he looked like he was about to cry again. Iwaizumi hastily knelt down in front of him as he squeezed Oikawa's hands tightly.

"H-Hey, what's wrong?" His face was full of concern. He couldn't help but smile as he looked at Oikawa's expression. For someone who is about to cry, Oikawa still looked cute.

"S-Sorry Hajime-san." Oikawa pouted, and then burst into tears, cupping his face with his hands as he cried loudly.

"H-Hey! Sssh!" Iwaizumi rubbed his back as he pulled him into a tight hug, carefully placing his chin on top of Oikawa's head. He brushed his fingers through Oikawa's locks as he allowed him to cry on his chest.

"S-Sorry I can't remember anything! I wish I could, but my leukemia affected me in so many ways, including my memory." Oikawa blew his nose at Iwaizumi's shirt, which made him grimace. "S-Sorry!" The brunette quickly pulled away from the hug as he flashed a peace sign at him.

"I-It's okay, you always do that." Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and then chuckled at the flustered Oikawa.

"R-Really?!"

"Yes! You always cry on my chest and then blow your nose on my shirt afterwards." Iwaizumi scoffed.

"Wow! I must be really comfortable around you."

"Very! We do everything together." He said in a jest. Iwaizumi had this expression which made Oikawa think that there's more to what he said than what it literally meant.

"Everything?"

"Yeah!" Iwaizumi cocked a brow as he smirked. _"We even showered together."_

Oikawa's mouth fell agape, his cheeks fuming furiously as Iwaizumi laughed boisterously. He continuously punched Iwaizumi's chest lightly as he sputtered indistinct things.

"I-I was just joking!" Iwaizumi exclaimed in between his laughs as he clutched his stomach with his right hand.

"That wasn't funny!" Oikawa pursed his lips as his expression turned sour. Iwaizumi kept teasing him until he finally learned how to tolerate his shaggy-dog stories.

After hours of sharing a few good laughs with each other, they settled themselves in the sofa where they admired the breathtaking view of the mountains. Iwaizumi sat astride Oikawa, who rested his head on Iwaizumi's chest. He took a deep breath, as his eyes caught the glimpse of the bungee jumping spot just at the edge of the cliff.

"When I recover, I'll go to that town down there and bungee jump." Oikawa smiled, his voice was already frail, but he was feeling perfectly fine with Iwaizumi with him.

"You really want to go down there, huh?" Iwaizumi followed his gaze as he wrapped his arms around him. "When you recover, I'll go there with you."

Oikawa squealed faintly as he looked up. He was regarded by Iwaizumi who was also looking at him with a delighted expression on his face. "You would go there with me?" Oikawa's eyes were filled with ecstasy, his mouth falling agape as he looked at Iwaizumi.

"Yes!" Iwaizumi poked the tip of his nose which caused it to twitch. The way his facial muscles wrinkled made Iwaizumi fall for him even more. "So you better heal fast, okay?"

"I'll try." Oikawa hissed, averting his gaze from Iwaizumi to the view outside his window.

Iwaizumi noticed Oikawa's eyes welling with tears. His tone didn't sound encouraging either. _It was as if Oikawa knew he was already losing the battle. It was as if Oikawa was already giving up._

He didn't notice his tears edging his eyes as well. He squeezed Oikawa's hand tightly as he planted a light kiss on his head.

 _"Please don't give up, Oi. I hope I'm enough reason for you to fight again."_ He whispered softly as Oikawa drifted off to sleep.

**•••**

By November, Oikawa's health improved a bit. Everyday at 5:00 in the afternoon, Iwaizumi would travel from his vacation house to Oikawa's ancestral home to see him. He laid-back with his work in Tokyo and decided to file a leave for two months, entrusting the company to his COO while he was away.

Oikawa began to regain color, and he was a bit energetic than before. This, despite his leukemia, and what seemed to be the unending search for his potential bone marrow donor, made Oikawa's family very happy.

They knew it was because of Iwaizumi. He served as a spark of hope for him as he continued to battle his cancer. Oikawa only listened to him and would go mad whenever Iwaizumi failed to visit him in a day.

Iwaizumi was already lying on his bed after an early morning walk with Czari. He rested his head on his arms as he eyed the vaulted ceiling and smiled like an idiot. He was already stoked to visit Oikawa later in the afternoon.

His phone rang, which snapped him off his reverie. He lazily reached for it on the bedside table and quickly answered the call. _"H-Hello? Iwaizumi-kun?"_ It was Oikawa's grandfather, his voice was shaky, and it stirred an uncomfortable feeling in Iwaizumi.

_"It's Tōru!"_


	23. Another Reason To Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He found him, and he gave him a reason to not give up.

Iwaizumi's eyes fluttered close as he collapsed under the shade of a pine tree marked with a slash on its bark. He cupped his face with both his hands, as he cried silently.

_Oikawa's missing. We couldn't find him anywhere._

The voice of Oikawa's grandfather echoed through and through inside Iwaizumi's mind. He desperately wiped his tears away as he got up to his feet and searched again.

"Oi, please, where are you?" His vision was blurry with his tears. He practically snapped every twig he came across as he groaned in distraught.

"Don't leave me again, please." He cried. There he was, wandering around an eerily quiet forest, with only the faint chirping of the birds and rustling sound of leaves casting noise.

Iwaizumi was desperate. A familiar feeling from last year swooped over him. His heartbeat was getting to be out of hand, and with every beat it made, came a twinge in the chest Iwaizumi felt.

He was well acquainted with the feeling. Iwaizumi was sure it was the same feeling he felt a year ago when Oikawa disappeared without a word. It felt like it was some kind of a déjà vu.

Iwaizumi cried helplessly, as he allowed his feet to drag him anywhere within the woods. Random things crossed his mind as he swallowed the lump forming inside his throat.

Snippets of his past conversations with Oikawa crossed his mind. He swiveled his head towards the right where he saw the small town by the cliff. "Of course," he hissed, his eyes widening as he hurried towards Oikawa's ancestral house to get his car.

Iwaizumi couldn't be more right when he saw Oikawa, standing in queue for the bungee jump. He was wearing a hoodie and a pair of grey sweatpants. He was still attractive but he looked very fragile.

"Oikawa!" Iwaizumi felt relieved and aggravated at the same time, as he grabbed him by the arm. Oikawa had a surprised look on his face, but it dissipated as soon as it came when he shot a frown at Iwaizumi.

"What are you doing here, Hajime-san? Are you going to try the jump as well?" He took his arm back dismissively as he looked away.

"Let's get you home before you get sicker than you already are." Iwaizumi gritted his teeth as Oikawa shot a profane look.

"Go away, please."

"Don't be stubborn, you are exposed to a lot of contaminants here in the open. You're not even wearing a mask!" Oikawa rolled his eyes in frustration, knowing how pushy Iwaizumi was.

"Hajime-san..." his voice broke, words failing him as he spoke. "Just let me do this, I wanna experience this before I die." He smiled encouragingly at him, but Iwaizumi was nowhere near to being happy.

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE, YOU DUMBASS!" Iwaizumi snapped, making Oikawa take a step back and catching everyone's attention on the line. Oikawa hung his head low as he fumed in embarrassment.

"Why do you always say that you're going to die? Aren't you gonna put up a fight? Aren't you gonna fight and live for us?" Tears were already cascading down Iwaizumi's cheeks. His fingers cupping Oikawa's chin as he held his gaze. "We'll get you a bone marrow donor, trust me."

"WHERE?!" Oikawa squalled, his tears were already free-falling, as a look of unrestrained fury registered on his face.

"Five years, Hajime! For five fucking years everyone's been telling me that! Everyone's been telling me that eventually, I'll find a donor and get well! And how dare you tell me that I wasn't putting up a fight?! I fought so hard, Hajime! For the people I love, for the people who matters to me! I've been battling this fucking leukemia for five years already! I've been strong for too long! I just want to rest! I want to end all of this! I just want to die! You don't know what it feels like to spend everyday in an empty room, with only the machines and hospital apparatuses to keep me company! You don't know what it feels like to see the disappointed looks on people's faces whenever they see me, JUST BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER THEM! I don't even remember you, Hajime! I don't even know you! It's very frustrating because I want to remember everything, but I can't! I just want this suffering to stop!"

Oikawa fell on his knees, sobbing as Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around him. "Sorry," Iwaizumi planted a small kiss on top of his head, as he allowed Oikawa to cry on his chest.

They were interrupted by the security guard who approached the both of them and spoke, "Sir, you've been causing trouble here already. We don't want anyone harassing any of our customers. Please come with me to the station."

"N-No, I'm not harassing him!" Iwaizumi flailed his hands in a vehement manner, as the guard took out a handcuff out of his pocket and tried to lock his hands with it.

"No no no! It's just a misunderstanding. Let go of him, he's my..." Oikawa stopped midway in his sentence as he looked at Iwaizumi, asking him to help him out.

 _"I'm his boyfriend."_ Iwaizumi firmly stated and the guard let go of him. Oikawa hung his head low, as he blushed furiously, Iwaizumi's statement was clearly not what he was expecting.

"S-Sorry." The guard excused himself as he walked out of the scene. Iwaizumi helped the still flustered Oikawa stand up. He couldn't look directly at Iwaizumi's eyes.

"Do you really want to do that?"

Oikawa nodded faintly as a smile traced his lips, "Yes."

"Fine, I'm jumping with you." Iwaizumi said with finality, as he draped an arm around Oikawa's shoulders, pulling Oikawa closer to him. Neither of them uttered a single word, as they patiently waited for their turn. Oikawa was feeling a little giddy on the inside, but he couldn't help but be distracted by Iwaizumi's scent lingering on his nostrils.

Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa's hand and intertwined his finger with his. The staff attached the gears to the both of them as they jumped.

Oikawa closed his eyes as he felt the wind rushing through him. It was as if he was cleansed from every worries, every anxiety that he had. A tear fell from his eyes as his lips registered a genuine smile. He was tightly holding Iwaizumi as he screamed on top of his lungs for emotional release.

Oikawa never felt this light since his condition worsened. Every ounce of fear that haunted him for the past five years dissipated. Every frustration that stirred within him whenever he wanted to remember something - but failed to do - was gone. Every heartache, every scar, every wound was mended. Every struggle of living to fight another day, despite all the hardships, suddenly felt worth it. Despite losing firepower, and the willingness to fight every step of the way, he was able to redeem himself. He never felt this free since then. _He was glad that he was able to become himself again - the carefree, stress-free, and bubbly Oikawa - even for a few minutes._

He swiveled his head to the side as he smiled at Iwaizumi. "Thank you, Iwa-chan." Oikawa said softly when they resurfaced. Iwaizumi flashed a warm smile, as he grabbed Oikawa's hand.

"Let's get you home, braveheart."

Oikawa squinted his eyes at Iwaizumi who tilted his head lightly and raised his eyebrows. "I don't wanna go home yet," he pouted, his tone was sweet and smooth. Iwaizumi giggled as he pinched Oikawa's nose and grinned at his expense.

"What do you want to do now?" He smiled. Iwaizumi tried to copy Oikawa's expression, but he was pretty sure that he didn't achieve Oikawa's level of cuteness while pouting.

_"Let's just stay and stroll for a while. Live this day like it's my last."_

**•••**

Oikawa nestled his face against the glass window of the cable car. His mouth fell agape as he looked at the view that overlooked from inside the ride. It made his knees tremble, they were in very high altitude. Below was an estuary where saltwater met the river, on its side was a grove of pine trees that swayed in the direction of the wind.

"Do you think there are crocodiles there, Hajime-san?" Oikawa asked, not bothering to look at Iwaizumi, as he continued to marvel at the sight. Iwaizumi shook his head, as he snickered at Oikawa's inquiry.

"Why do you ask?" Iwaizumi got up on his feet as he went across the bench, where Oikawa was settled. He wrapped his arms around Oikawa's waist, who didn't notice his gesture. Iwaizumi carefully placed his chin on top of Oikawa's shoulder, his strawberry scent assaulting his senses as a smile traced his lips.

"I already feel like they want to eat me alive while I'm looking down there." Oikawa exclaimed mindlessly like a kid, earning a series of chuckles from Iwaizumi at his expense.

"Why do I feel like I'm with Czari right now? You sound a lot like her." Iwaizumi's laughs faltered, and then utterly faded when he saw Oikawa looking at him with a sour expression.

"Who's Czari?" He cocked a brow, as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"You don't have to know."

"We've been friends for almost a month now, and yet you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend." Oikawa rolled his eyes as he looked outside again. Deep down he was still troubled, and intrigued all at the same time.

"So what if I have a girlfriend?" Iwaizumi teased but Oikawa fell silent. The silence was deafening and it was making Iwaizumi uncomfortable. He poked Oikawa who didn't even move a muscle so he sighed in defeat and said, "Fine! I'll tell you who Czari is."

"I don't care about Czari!" Oikawa was quick to react, shoving Iwaizumi's hands dismissively as he rolled his eyes. "Just shut up."

"You mad bro?"

"No, sorry." Oikawa smiled as he wrapped an arm around Iwaizumi. "Hajime-san, thank you."

"W-Why are you thanking me?"

"For never giving up on me. I've seen every disappointed look you had on your face whenever you would tell me something, but I fail to remember. Thank you for constantly visiting me, I know you live a few kilometers from here but I really appreciate the effort of keeping me company. I will never forget this day, Hajime-san. And I couldn't think of another best way of spending my last day than to spend it with you." Tears were already streaming down Oikawa's eyes, as Iwaizumi wiped it desperately and forced a smile.

"W-What do you mean by that? You're not going to die, Oi! You're going to fight, right? Please be strong!" Iwaizumi planted a small kiss on his forehead as his tears fell as well.

"I've been strong for too long, Hajime-san. I don't know if I can keep going." Oikawa pouted, avoiding Iwaizumi's gaze as he nuzzled close to his chest.

"You will keep going. There are so many reasons for you to fight, Oi. You can't just give up." He brushed his fingers through Oikawa's hair as he inhaled his scent.

"You're right, I have many reasons to fight, and you're one of them. Thank you for giving me another reason to live, Hajime-san."

Iwaizumi smiled as he felt butterflies fluttering inside his stomach. They both fell silent as he encased Oikawa in his arms, enjoying the comfortable silence between them.

Oikawa broke free from their hug, as he looked at him with questioning eyes, "Hajime-san?"

"Yes?"

"Who actually is Czari?" Iwaizumi burst out laughing as he hugged Oikawa again who pursed his lips in disappointment.

**•••**

Iwaizumi shut off the shower as he let his hair dry, wrapping a towel around his waist. He dragged himself out of the bathroom, and as if on cue, his phone started ringing.

Iwiazumi hurriedly answered the call and was greeted by Oikawa who was screaming in delight. "HAJIME-SAN! YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!"

He chuckled, as he settled himself on his bed and ran a hand through his disheveled locks. "Woah! Woah! Slow down there, braveheart. What is it?" Iwaizumi heard Oikawa pant from the background, and he couldn't help but chuckle at his efforts to calm himself down.

_"We already found a bone marrow donor and I'm gonna get a transplant tomorrow!"_


	24. Bittersweet Defeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I will always love my Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi shoved his hands inside his pockets as he entered the hospital. His leather shoes scuffed against the tile, emitting loud screeching sounds that made the people in the lobby grimace.

The place reeked of alcohol, and it was unnerving for Iwaizumi. He covered his nose to avoid inhaling the pungent stench of disinfectant, which was irritating to his senses.

He swiveled his head to the side when a familiar stance was caught in his peripheral vision. He had sweet brown hair that reminded Iwaizumi of the tinge of maple leaves during autumn. His shoulders were broad and he had a physique similar to an athlete's. There was some sort of an ethereal glow around him that made him look heavenly.

Iwaizumi's brows furrowed when Oikawa swung his head in his direction and smiled. His smile was so peaceful and showed signs of content. His smile was carefree and relieved.

It was just a mere smile, but a voice told Iwaizumi that Oikawa's smile meant something more. He looked perfectly well for someone who'd battled a Stage 3 blood cancer.

Iwaizumi returned the warmth of Oikawa's smile, and his eyes averted from him to his wristwatch. The time read 3:30 P.M. - one hour since Oikawa's scheduled transplant.

 _What the hell is this idiot doing here?_ Iwaizumi thought, as he looked up, only to find that Oikawa wasn't standing there anymore.

His heart beat faster than usual, and an antsy feeling spread all over his body like wildfire. Iwaizumi couldn't quite put a finger on it, but whatever the feeling meant, Iwaizumi was not liking it.

Iwaizumi continued walking as he looked for the sign that says 'Operating Room'. Finally giving up, he asked the nurse coming out of the right wing, who looked frantic and disoriented.

"H-Hey? Do you know where the Operating Room is?" He held the nurse by the shoulders to keep her still. She was still shaking nonetheless and her lips was very pale.

"T-There!" She pointed towards the right wing, from where she came from, and Iwaizumi saw Oikawa's family sitting by the benches.

He dragged himself towards them with a smile on his face. The smile disappeared as soon as it came when he saw the indescribable look plastered on their faces. "Why? What happened?"

Oikawa's family remained silent. No one bothered to answer Iwaizumi's question. They didn't even acknowledge his presence, as if he wasn't there. "Guys! What happened? Why are you not talking to me?!"

Judging by the look on their faces, Iwaizumi could tell that something wasn't right. His heartbeat became frantic, and his body grew cold. His pulse felt like he came from a rigorous workout or something.

It was Oikawa's mother who approached Iwaizumi. Tears were falling from her eyes down to her cheeks, as she flashed a melancholic smile. "The doctors made us sign the waivers just now."

Iwaizumi's eyes grew wide, his mouth falling agape as his knees started to shake. "W-What for?" Tears threatened to fall from Iwaizumi's eyes, as he stared at Oikawa's mom who looked exactly like his female version.

"T-Tōru's body is rejecting the bone marrow." She desperately wiped her tears away, as he squeezed Iwaizumi's arms. "They've gone so deep into the operation that there's no turning back. Canceling it might cost him his life."

Iwaizumi enveloped Oikawa's mom into a tight hug. He was staring blankly at the ceiling, tears cascading from his eyes as his body froze.

Iwaizumi was already lost in his senses. Time flew so quickly that he lost track of it. His thoughts were trailing off, and he couldn't think straight.

He was snapped off his train of thoughts when the doctor came rushing out of the operating room. Everyone in the waiting area stood up, as the doctor removed his mask.

_"Sorry. We did our best."_

**•••**

_Everything that happened, happened so fast._

The tears around his eyes had dried up. They were still stinging, but Iwaizumi felt like he already cried out every single ounce of fluid within his body.

Iwaizumi stared blankly at the tiles beneath his feet, leaning on the door frame, as he observed his knees trembling.

Everything was perfectly fine. He didn't know what went wrong. Oikawa was supposed to survive, he was supposed to make it.

He was one step away from winning his battle, but eventually, he lost. Did Oikawa give up the fight? Did he intentionally lose?

Iwaizumi shrugged the unnecessary thoughts away as he looked up. He was standing inside the hospital's morgue as he stared aimlessly at the only stretcher inside.

It had a body on top of it concealed under a thin line of white cloth. His feet dragged Iwiaizumi towards his former lover, as tears cascaded down his cheeks once more. Iwaizumi peeled the cloth off of him and he saw the most beautiful human being he had ever laid his eyes on.

He squeezed Oikawa's hand and he realized it was already getting cold. Iwaizumi ran his fingers through his fine locks as he planted a soft kiss on Oikawa's forehead. He looked so serene, he looked so peaceful, he looked happy and content.

Iwaizumi remembered what he saw earlier, when he arrived. Oikawa was wearing the same content smile now, that he had when Iwaizumi saw him in the lobby.

"Was that your way of saying goodbye, Shittykawa?" He said through gritted teeth, his voice echoed within the four corners of the room. "How subtle."

"Do you always leave people behind?! You good for nothing piece of shit! You always leave! You never stay! Fuck you!" Iwaizumi fell on his knees, his whole body shuddering, as his hands gripped Oikawa's tightly.

He swung his head towards the door when he heard footsteps coming in. It was Oikawa's mom, she forced a smile, and Iwaizumi didn't have the slightest clue how she could still manage to do that.

"Here, Iwaizumi-kun." Oikawa's mom handed him a piece of paper, probably a letter. "When we arrived in the ancestral house last night, he barged into our room and gave me this. He told me to give it to you in case he doesn't make it."

Oikawa's mom looked so fragile. She was so frail that Iwaizumi thought she's going to collapse right in front of him. It must've been tough for her as well.

Iwaizumi hesitantly took the letter and excused himself. He sat at the bench right outside the morgue and opened it hastily.

He swore he could hear Oikawa's voice inside his mind while reading it.

_My dearest Iwa-chan,_

_Yes! You read that one right, Iwa-chan. If you're reading this, it means I'm not in this world anymore. But hey, smile, I'm charming and all, but I know you'll get over me (haha!)._

_I want to tell you that I already remember everything, Iwa-chan. Of all the days where I could've regained my memory, I am really wondering why it has to be now, but hey, at least I remembered, right? I didn't die clueless or something._

_Iwa-chan, I want to thank you for everything. I want to thank you for all the times that you've been there for me. I want to thank you for always having my back and for always protecting me._

_Iwa-chan, I'm really trying my best because you know that I'm not good at this, so please don't laugh! I'm not a poet and not a fan of words and stuff, but I want to express everything, even if the struggle is so real._

_You were my pillar of strength. You were one of my life coaches. You were mean, but I know that you cared for me. And I couldn't thank you enough for that._

_I have always wondered why you were so cold to me, why you never showed your sweet and affectionate side, but I guess that's what makes you my Iwa-chan._

_Let me take you back to one of my favorite memories of us when we were still young. You had a habit of coming up behind me, wrapping your arms around my neck and covering my eyes with your hands._

_"Guess who?" You would always ask._

_And how silly of you, I thought, to think that I would not know you by the feeling of your heartbeat against my back._

_You were my best buddy, but I have always considered you as my worst rival._

_You were always the best version of me, Iwa-chan. You were someone I would never become._

_I tried to fathom every single day the beauty of you, my Iwa-chan. And I would always fail to understand how every single bit of perfection in this world could fit into one body. You were perfect to me, Iwa-chan, and I hate that._

_Your smile had the capacity of bringing me into another dimension. Your eyes held so much positivity that they always make me feel good._

_You always know how to make me feel secure, Iwa-chan. I feel like I'm always safe whenever I'm with you._

_You were my sweetest hello, and my hardest goodbye. Thank you for loving me, Iwa-chan. I'm so lucky to have you in my life._

_I would never trade our memories for any amount of money in this world, because those memories I had with you practically summed up my life._

_You were the one who made the greatest impact in my life. You were the reason for my heartaches and my downfalls, but it was also you who picked me up and fixed me._

_You made me feel different, weird things. Inside me, exists a little hell, and never will I tumble out of love with the way your beautiful lungs soothe its fire into grains of ash._

_Please be happy, Iwa-chan, as I've said this in my letters. I just want you to be happy, even if that happiness doesn't include me anymore._

_You made my life worth living, Iwa-chan. You made my stay in this world worthwhile._

_I may not be in this world anymore, I may not be with you physically. But know that I will always be in your heart, and you will always be in mine as well._

_In a parallel universe, maybe we'll be together. In another life, as cheesy as it may sound, I will wait for you and gladly spend a life with you._

_The sun may refuse to shine. The birds may forget how to fly. The rain may stop pouring. The waves may stop crashing. The world may start changing. But one thing is for sure:_

_I will always love my Iwa-chan._


	25. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was gone, but never forgotten.

_Iwa-chan!_

I can still hear his voice inside my head. It was my most favorite sound in the world, it was music to my ears.

I can still hear his laugh that never failed to trigger the butterflies residing inside my body. I can still remember the way his eyes glistened under the moonlight, they held a certain magic within them that had me spacing out from time to time.

I can still remember how his nose twitched, how his forehead creased, and how his cheeks wrinkled whenever he smiled.

I can still picture the way his beautiful brown locks would sway in the direction of the wind. The pungent smell of his strawberry scent still lingers on the tip of my nose.

It has been three years since you left me. It has been three years since you died. I never thought I'd last this long without you by my side.

_Without you, my sunshine._

I feel so empty, yet so full of emotions. Like the smallest thing could push me over the edge.

What do you do when there's nothing left but pain inside you? How do you explain something you don't even understand yourself?

Every single day, after a hard day of work, I go straight here just to see you. To stare at your name etched on your marble gravestone was my daily obsession. It was a means of remembering you, because up until now, I still can't accept the fact that you're gone too soon, my love.

I stoop down as I lay the bouquet of white roses I brought him, it's his favorite. I light the candle and hug the little girl beside me. It has been three years, yet you still have her crying every single time she visits. She misses you, Oi. My daughter misses you, _our daughter misses you._

"Heaven gained another angel in Oji-chan, Daddy." Czari said in between her sobs, she always says that, every time.

"Yeah," I couldn't help but agree. "Heaven gained the most annoying angel three years ago." I sighed inwardly, as I forced a smile.

Someone once asked me what it felt like to love you.

They may as well have asked me to describe the taste of water. So, in return, I'd ask them to imagine living in the absence of it.

You can get by without it for a day or so. You may even survive without it for a week. But eventually, the body will begin to wither away.

_And so, the idea of living without water is the equivalent of not loving you - impossible._

I am Iwaizumi Hajime, and that was my story. I fell in love with the person I grew up with. I fell in love with my best friend. _And loving him was the best decision I had ever made._

Love wasn't easy with the both of us. We had a fair share of ups and downs. We faced so many obstacles together that threatened our love, and pushed us to the verge of giving up.

But when we finally beat Love at its own game, Life happened. _Life fucked up when he gambled our Love to Death, and Death separated the both of us._

Oikawa left a significant mark in my life; a scar that won't ever fade. Maybe our love was doomed from the start, but the times I spent with him were the best times of my life.

In another world, in a parallel universe, I know we'll be together. In an alternate scheme, I know we'll share a life forever. In another life, as delusional as I may sound, I hope to meet him again and love him better.

I'd choose you in a hundred lifetimes. I'd choose you in a hundred worlds. In any illusion, or fantasy, and in any version of reality, I'd choose you and I'd find you.

_You were the best thing that ever happened to me._

If loving you was a mistake, I don't mind committing the same mistake over and over again.

Maybe Love isn't bullshit after all, because when Love happened to the both of us, it made Life worth living.

I am Iwaizumi Hajime. _And my best mistake was worth the battle, he was worth the pain._

 _He was worth the victory, and was worth the defeat all the same._

**T H E  E N D**


	26. Bonus: A Parallel Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best Mistake's Alternate Ending

In a span of three years, a lot had changed in both Oikawa and Iwaizumi's lives.

Oikawa had been promoted to Chief Creative Officer of ArtMart Tokyo, and was now one of Japan's best marketing, media, and branding experts. His longtime boyfriend and childhood sweetheart, Iwaizumi already stepped out of his enigmatic and mysterious image as the Phoenix. His brand of art was making rounds not only in Japan, but also worldwide.

Iwaizumi juggles his time being a renowned artist, successful businessman, and a supportive boyfriend to Oikawa. Sure they've come along way, and they've already reached their dreams - only one thing was left.

It was a fine Monday. Oikawa stood up as he stretched his body, his eyes itchy from staring at the computer screen for hours.

He fished for his phone inside his pocket when it rang. Oikawa smiled as he slid the screen to the right and picked up the call.

 _"Hello, Love?"_ He was greeted by a raspy voice on the other line, and he chuckled when he heard Iwaizumi yawn.

"Yes, Iwa-chan? What made you call?"

 _"I just missed you."_ He smiled. It wasn't the first time Iwaizumi called him for that reason, but it still elicited an exhilarating feeling from within him every time.

"I miss you too," Oikawa giggled.

 _"I'll be going home late tonight, because my meetings are piled up today."_ Iwaizumi groaned as he rolled his eyes, even though Oikawa couldn't see him.

"Okay, sure. Don't stress yourself too much okay? Take a break every once in a while." Oikawa had a hint of concern in his voice. He propped his elbow on top of his other hand as he pouted.

 _"Yes, wifey."_ Iwaizumi teased. Oikawa could tell that he was suppressing his laughs from the other line.

"I'm a guy and we're not married." Oikawa said matter-of-factly.

_"Not yet."_

"Whatever!" Oikawa rolled his eyes as an ear-to-ear smile crept up his face. "I have to hang up now, bye! I love you!"

_"I love you, too!"_

Oikawa stared at the screen for a while, his wide smile never leaving his face. He bit his lower lip as a soft giggle escaped his lips, unable to suppress the giddy feeling he felt when Iwaizumi called.

His mood changed suddenly, however when he remembered Iwaizumi hadn't greeted him yet. It was his twenty-fifth birthday and Oikawa couldn't believe that he possibly forgot it.

"Was that Iwaizumi-san?" He was cut off his reverie, and swung his head to the side where he saw a guy of average height. He has light grey hair and a slender build. Oikawa frowned at Kōshi's teasing smile.

"Who else would I say 'I love you' to, Suga-san?" Oikawa smirked, his sarcastic retort earning a chuckle from him.

"How would I know? You're a flirt!" He teased, and Oikawa shot a profane look at him. The look on Oikawa's face disappeared as soon as it came when the both of them exchanged giggles.

"What was it this time?"

"The usual. He randomly missed me, again." The brunette pursed his lips as he muttered a soft 'thanks' when Kōshi handed him a cup of coffee. "He's just being his clingy self."

"After all your efforts, you finally succeeded. You finally have him head over heels in love with you, Oikawa-san." Kōshi remarked in a jest, and Oikawa was quick to chop his sides.

"You're so mean, Suga-san!"

"Don't call him that!" A deep and stern voice made the both of them pivot their heads toward the door frame. Daichi entered the room, draping an arm around his spouse, as he pulled him close. "He's been Sawamura Kōshi for four years already."

Oikawa flashed a teasing smirk, and Kōshi couldn't help but flush a lovely shade of red. Daichi giggled at his expense, as he pinched his cheeks and planted a small kiss on top of his forehead.

"Woah! Okay! Don't go lovey-dovey in front of me!" Oikawa flailed his arms, turning his back against them as he settled himself on his swivel chair.

"You're just jealous because Iwaizumi-san isn't around." It was now his turn to get flustered at Kōshi's retort. He covered his face with both his hands as the couple laughed.

"Oi! It's a Monday today, you're in charge of the garbage bags!" Daichi laughed and Oikawa let out a huff of annoyance as he took out the garbage bags inside the room.

He was already outside and was on his way to the garbage bins when two familiar figures blocked his way. Oikawa's eyes gleamed in delight as he greeted the two.

"Hanamaki! Matsukawa! What are you–"

He was cut off from his sentence when someone crept on him from behind. Covering his mouth with a white piece of cloth that had a weird smell lingering on it.

_That was the last thing Oikawa remembered and everything went pitch black._

**•••**

Oikawa squinted his eyes as he stared outside, it was already dusk, and the skies were painted by a mixture of purple and crimson red.

His left hand landed on his head, as he let out a faint groan. He remembered the foul smell he inhaled before he blacked out, and his face collapsed into a frown.

"Oji-chan!" Oikawa nearly fell off his seat when Czari attacked him from behind, showering him with hugs and little kisses.

"Hey, hey! Settle down little one!" Oikawa chuckled as he hugged Czari as well. An eerie feeling swooped inside him as his eyes widened in shock.

"What are you doing here? Did you get kidnapped, too?" A look of concern immediately registered on his face. It disappeared as soon as it came when Czari shook her head vehemently and smiled.

"You were never kidnapped," she grinned. "It's just part of...oops!" The little girl was quick to cover her mouth with her tiny hands, as she chuckled nervously.

"Czari?" Oikawa smirked, looking at the child expectantly. "What is it?"

"I knew it! I'll never be good at lying." She pouted, crossing her hands in front of her chest, as she avoided Oikawa's gaze.

"Can you tell Daddy I did great with the acting?" She pleaded.

Still clueless, Oikawa nodded his head nonetheless and Czari perked up. "Come on, Oji-chan! They're waiting!"

Czari dragged Oikawa along with her as they got out of the van. His gaze roamed around the place, and realized they were on the same beach resort where their former team, Kitagawa Daiichi celebrated a week after the championship during their third year in Middle School.

The place where everything started. The place where their love started to bloom.

A smile traced Oikawa's lips as the brackish scent of saltwater assaulted his nostrils. He allowed Czari to drag him to the shore, as he relished the warm feeling of the sands against his feet.

Tears edged his eyes when he saw that the beach was decorated with everything romantic. There were bouquet stands filled with roses everywhere. A pathway was made, and it was surrounded by brightly-lit candles that illuminated its course.

Oikawa looked up at the starry sky and he smiled at the sight of hundreds of sky lanterns decorating the night sky. It was a sight to behold.

_Everything was breathtaking, everything was magical._

Czari dragged him to the center where they followed the candlelit pathway. The red carpet beneath his feet made Oikawa smile, especially when the cello started playing to the tune of A Thousand Years as they walked down the course.

Oikawa looked straight ahead and realized that on the sidelines stood the people close to his heart. They watched them with huge smiles plastered on their faces, as Czari and Oikawa made their way towards the center. Each of them were holding a blue rose and a white card.

Oikawa was all smiles when he was greeted by the first person in the arrangement.

"Happy birthday." A raven-haired guy smiled. It was Oikawa's close friend and workmate, Kageyama Tōbio. He handed Oikawa the blue rose and the card he was holding, and the brunette shot a quizzical expression at him.

They continued walking down the carpet as Oikawa opened the card. It was a mini-letter and he easily recognized Iwaizumi's penmanship on it.

_#25. On this day, 25 years ago, an angel was born. I'm so glad that angel became my significant other, and I'm so thankful to have him in my life. Happy birthday, my love! Thought I'd forget, huh?_

Oikawa chuckled as tears cascaded down his cheeks. It was Iwaizumi's plan all along. The fake kidnapping and everything.

He hugged the second person they passed by, and they exchanged a series of chuckles. Kōshi handed him another rose and another card. Oikawa hastily opened it as he continued to walk.

_#24. Remember when you made me sell 24 boxes of muffins in high school? You said it was for your baking class, and you were worried because no one wanted to buy them. So, I had to buy all of them for myself, so you'd cheer up and not worry about your grade anymore._

"Happy birthday, Oikawa-senpai!" Shinji Watari, Seijoh's former libero and Oikawa's ex-teammate hugged him, as he did what Kōshi did, and said nothing more.

_#23. The number of breaths I took before I finally decided to approach you after you avoided me the whole day during our team outing a few years back, because I accidentally kissed you. It was at this very same resort that I professed my love to you, and I was so tense that time that I was able to count my breaths._

A short girl smiled at Oikawa, and Yachi Hitoka gave him the blue rose and the letter before they continued to walk.

_#22. You made 22 attempts before you finally blocked my attack for the first time when we played volleyball on the clover fields. You were so happy that you cried and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I didn't know what a kiss meant that time, so I never really appreciated the gesture. Haha!_

It was Oikawa's long-time secretary, Juvia, Iwaizumi's assistant and key adviser, Mira, and Kiyoko Shimizu who handed him the fifth, sixth, and seventh letters. Oikawa smiled at them before opening it with a huge grin on his face.

_#21. We got lost on the busy streets of Tokyo when we were young. It was May 21st, we heard an explosion from a distance. You dragged me along with you because you wanted so bad to check it out, thinking that a UFO crashed and aliens have arrived._

_#20. You received 20 elegantly wrapped gifts from your fangirls during prom. You don't know how pissed I was that time, so I never gave you mine._

_#19. You told me that you received a total of 19 spanks from your Mom when you got home late, because you insisted on spending the night at our house. You were so stubborn, and you wanted to sleep beside me, and I think you deserved that! Haha!_

A tall guy with a manly physique regarded Oikawa with a shrewd smile. He smiled at the sight of Daichi, as he gave him a tight hug before going on.

_#18. My 18th birthday was the first birthday that I celebrated without you by my side. You know what happened, and I never want to celebrate any more birthdays without you, Oi. They're just not complete without you there._

Oikawa flushed a lovely shade of rose as a soft giggle escaped his lips. His expression turned sour when it was Ushijima that handed him the next one.

_#17. You won by 17 points when we played the Air Gun in the arcade when we were seven. I don't wanna remember that day ever, but I'll never forget the way a devilish smile crept up your face when you stole a kiss from me on my cheek._

_#16. I had to say sorry 16 times to you before you forgave me when I broke your Buzz Lightyear action figure. That was the first time I saw you really mad, and reminds me to never to get on that side of yours again._

_#15. I spent 15 days planning this surprise for you, so I hope you're liking it so far. I love you!_

_#14. Remember the Seijoh School Fair? That was February 14, Valentine's Day. Our teammates got us tied up with the love knot for two hours. You looked so happy, and I pretended not to care, but deep inside, I was just as delighted as you were._

_#13. The number of days you didn't talk to me when you found out I had my first girlfriend. I didn't know what had gotten into you that time, but now, I completely understand. Jelly baby!_

Oikawa shrieked in delight when his mother enveloped him into a tight hug. She planted a small kiss on his cheek before whispering, "Don't cry at the end of this surprise."

He pursed his lips for a while before his Dad gave him the other.

_#12. We got stuck for 12 hours inside the stockroom once. It was already nighttime and none of the staff was around, so I spent the whole night with you. I would gladly repeat that._

_#11. 11 inches. The size of my...foot! Haha, just kidding! You made me buy you 11 knee supporters all in all, because you kept losing them. I hope you never lose the 11th one._

"Happy birthday, Oikawa-san! We're so sorry for what happened earlier!" Hanamaki and Matsukawa giggled, as they exchanged gleeful looks. Oikawa shot a profane look at them before smiling wide himself.

_#10. It's my birthdate. I love my birthdays, and all of your surprises for me. I may not show it, but it's always the first thing I look forward to during my special day._

_#9. You cooked 9 Agedashi Tofus for me, and burnt all of them. I still had to eat them, because I didn't want to disappoint you and put your efforts to waste._

_P.S. I wanted to end my life so bad during that time, because they were the most awful thing I've ever tasted._

Oikawa blushed furiously when Iwaizumi's parents flashed teasing looks. "Happy birthday, Tōru-kun!" They chorused, before giving him a warm hug.

_#8. I have nothing to write, except for the fact that I took your 'virginity' in 8th grade at this very same resort. I booked the same room we had back then tonight in case you want to reminisce? What do you say? Don't blush!_

_#7. I got 7 kisses from you when I got back from my summer vacation in Paris. That was so awkward, dude, what the hell!_

_#6. I got 6 medals during our first ever volleyball camp, and you only had two. You cried so bad because I had more, so I shared them with you. You may be second best to someone, but to me, you'll always be number one. Cheesy!_

_#5. During my 5th birthday you gave me a dinosaur plushie. You expected me to be happy, but I wasn't. I could've been happy if it was Godzilla, but no, you gave me Barney! You jerk!_

"Happy birthday, Oikawa-san!" Nishinoya gleamed, as he enveloped him into a tight hug. He handed him the blue rose, and Oikawa muttered a soft thanks before he opened the letter and smiled.

_#4. You read Rainbow Rowell's classic Eleanor and Park in a span of 4 hours. You were so immersed with the book you were reading, and I didn't know why you were crying. So for four hours, after you finished reading the book, you nuzzled against my chest and you asked me to hug you tight because the book gave you so many feels. You're just so cute!_

_#3. You asked me to hold the 3 roses that you brought to the Valentine's Ball during tenth grade. After an hour, you texted me to look for you and give you back the roses._

_And so I did, I found you in the middle of the dance floor. I approached you and as soon as I handed them back to you, you shouted: Oh my gosh! Iwa-chan gave me three roses! So sweet!_

_The whole school started teasing us, and you don't know how I barely quelled the urge to strangle you and kill you. I can't believe I fell for that trap._

_#2. You left me 2 times. I went thousands of miles to find you, only to fail twice as well. I've also waited for countless days for you to return back into my embrace, but that doesn't matter. My love will always be greater than the time I must wait, and the distance I must go to be with you._

Oikawa allowed himself to cry softly when he saw Iwaizumi standing on a platform. He was still sporting his office attire, and in his hands was a huge bouquet of roses and three pink balloons.

He handed Oikawa the bouquet and balloons before enveloping him in a tight hug. Iwaizumi planted a soft kiss on his forehead as a smile crossed his lips, "Happy birthday, love."

"T-Thank you!" Oikawa sobbed.

Iwaizumi stooped down to Czari, before patting her head and giving her a soft kiss. "You did great, baby! Thank you!"

Iwaizumi looked up and smiled at Oikawa. The brunette saw a golden card on top of the bouquet and took it. He smiled as he looked at Iwaizumi before opening the letter.

_#1. One lifetime of memories with you. I only need one answer to this one question..._

He raised his eyebrows because it wasn't finished. Oikawa gasped as he looked up and saw Iwaizumi kneeling in front of him, taking out a small red box from his pocket, and Oikawa burst into tears.

_"Will you marry me, Tōru Oikawa?"_

"Gladly!" He shrieked, and Iwaizumi got up on his feet, putting the ring on his finger. Iwaizumi sealed their lips with a kiss, and the people around them, watching in awe, clapping their hands and cheering.

Despite everything they've been through, both of them were very happy that they still ended up in each other's arms.

That night signified a new journey that the both of them were about to embark on. They were about to take on a new road; the road  that they will be taking for a lifetime.

That night signified Iwaizumi and Oikawa's journey.

_The journey to 'Always and Forever'._


	27. Bonus: Azi's Bedtime Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The little Princess and Prince Milk Bread were very much alike. That is why Prince Tofu loved her very much, because the little princess was a living reminder of his true love."

Iwaizumi was completely immersed in the newspaper he was holding as he propped his left leg over the other.

Footsteps scuffed against the tiles as a young girl draped an arm around his neck, and attacked him with a kiss. "Goodnight, Daddy." The nine-year old Czari smiled sweetly, as she gently nuzzled her cheek against her father's.

"Good night, Czarina! Sleep well." Iwaizumi gave her a goodnight kiss before she went running towards the staircase.

"Czari?" Iwaizumi called, stopping Czari in her tracks. She swiveled her head back to the living room, as she shifted her weight on one leg and cocked a brow. "Yes, Daddy?"

"Your sister, Azi? Is she in bed already?" Iwaizumi pursed his lips, his eyes switching from one article on the newspaper to another.

Czari shook her head vehemently even though her father wasn't looking her way and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Azalea won't listen to me, Daddy. She's already in her PJs, but she's still on the porch with Prada."

Iwaizumi was left with no choice but to put down the newspaper he was holding. He heaved a deep breath, as he rolled his eyes and headed outside.

A smile crept up his face when he saw the figure of his youngest daughter, sitting on the doorstep with her pet nestled in her lap.

Iwaizumi slowly sat beside her, and she didn't even dare to look his way. He stared at her awestruck expression, as her eyes gazed the night sky.

Iwaizumi smiled as he continued to marvel at his adopted child. She was a wonderful kid, as wonderful as Czari.

Azi reminded him of Oikawa a lot. She pretty much resembled his features. Azi has pitch-brown locks that is always tied in a neat pigtail. A few strands of her hair cascaded over her forehead, and it pretty much complimented her bright hazel eyes.

Like Oikawa, she beared one of the most powerful and expressive pair of eyes Iwaizumi had seen his whole life. She had this innocent expression on her face, and she is always filled with curiosity.

She pretty much reflected Oikawa's bubbly attitude, but she was as stubborn, as Iwaizumi could get.

Azalea was like their daughter because her personality and appearance was a perfect mixture of Oikawa and his, to say the least. Which was probably the reason he adopted her, back when she was only a few months old.

"You're thinking so deep, I think I'm gonna drown in your thoughts." Iwaizumi said in a jest, as a soft giggle escaped his lips.

"Ah~!" The three year-old squealed in shock as her tiny hands cupped her face. Her father's statement cutting her off from her trance.

"Relax, it's just Daddy."

"You scared me!" Azi retorted, as she hugged Iwaizumi tightly and stared back at the skies. She had a great penchant for stars and other heavenly bodies. And as ironic as it sounded, like Oikawa, she thought aliens were real.

"Daddy, why is Prada not eating?" She pouted. Azi tried to feed her with another loaf of bread again, but the Pomeranian Husky rejected once more.

"You just fed her an hour ago, she's still full." Iwaizumi smirked, his daughter's eyebrows furrowed, as she shot him a quizzical look.

"But that's an hour ago!"

"Let's get you to bed now, little one." Iwaizumi shrugged off his daughter's tantrums, as he patted her head lightly. He tried to pick her up, but she resisted.

"No!" She snapped. "I still wanna watch the stars!"

"How long are you gonna watch the stars?" Iwaizumi copied her expression, which irked her even more. He stifled his laughs at his daughter's expense. Azi looked even cuter when she was mad and irritated.

"I'm gonna watch them until they go and disappear." She exclaimed in a playful tone, and beamed at Iwaizumi, who was unamused.

He rolled his eyes as he let out a huff of annoyance. "But that would be morning already! C'mon, let's get you to bed."

Azi's face collapsed into a frown, as she relented to her father's request. Iwaizumi picked her up, and the two of them went inside the house. Azi propped her chin on top of her father's shoulder as she clung to his neck and pouted. "Azi hates Daddy Zumi."

Iwaizumi couldn't help but chuckle as he carefully laid her in bed. "No, Azi loves Daddy Zumi." He insisted, but the little girl was paying him no attention. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling, where glow-in-the-dark stickers of planets and constellations were plastered on it.

"Is Daddy Kawa a lot nicer than you?"

Iwaizumi chuckled before planting a small kiss on her little forehead. "Yeah, Daddy Kawa is a lot nicer than Daddy Zumi. If he was alive, you two would get along."

Azi pouted as she looked away and faced the wall. She heaved a deep sigh as random thoughts crossed her mind. "Why do Nee-chan and I have two fathers, and no mommy?"

Iwaizumi giggled, as he looked at her daughter in awe. A huge smile crossed his mouth, as he hugged Azi from the back. "Sometimes it's like that, sweetie. Go to sleep, already. It's getting pretty late."

"Where's Oba-san?" Azi turned to face him once more, and Iwaizumi had to roll his eyes again at her curiosity.

"I told you already, she's gone for the whole week because she's on a vacation." Iwaizumi forced a smile, and a disappointed look appeared on Azi's face.

"She's the one who tells me bedtime stories! I can't sleep without bedtime stories!" Azi clenched her fists, as she dabbed the pillows twice.

"But your Oba-san is not around, Azi."

"But you are, so you'll tell me a story." Azi grinned, much to Iwaizumi's disappointment. He let out a soft grunt and smiled at the girl, who had an expectant look on her face.

"Once upon a time," Iwaizumi started his story. "Uhh~uhm,"

"What?" Azi glared at him, growing impatient at his slow start.

"I'm thinking Azalea, I'm thinking." He cupped his chin with his fingers as he thought deep. It took Iwaizumi a few seconds before he was able to find the right words to say. "There was a Kraken~"

"What's a Kraken?"

"A kraken is a huge sea monster that is responsible for the death of many sailors! It lurks around the murky depths of the ocean, as it waits for its prey!" Iwaizumi's storytelling was pretty much animated, with the voice modulation, the actions and all. Azi covered her face with her blanket, littered with star patterns, as she began to quiver.

"Ahh~!" She shrieked, "Change the story, Daddy! Change the story! It's scaring me, it's gonna give me nightmares!"

Iwaizumi's expression softened when Azi started to sob, and he couldn't help but feel guilty for scaring his precious child. "What do you want then? An ogre? A troll? A giant? A dragon?"

"No! No! I don't want scary creatures! I want fairies, and princes, and princesses!"

Iwaizumi scratched the back of his head, as he rolled his eyes for the nth time that night. He didn't have a knack for stories like that, unlike Kiyoko, and he sure was having a hard time thinking of another story plot.

"There was once a pig who fell in love with a frog~"

"What are their names?" Azi pursed her lips, shaking her head at her father's missing details.

"Piggy and Froggy." Iwaizumi flashed a stoic expression, expecting another violent reaction from the little girl, but was glad that it didn't happen. "Piggy and Froggy fell in love and they were inseparable. They got married and lived happily ever after! The end!"

Azi's mouth fell agape, tears starting to edge her eyes, as she stared at her father in disbelief. "That's not nice!" She started to cry, and Iwaizumi had to make her stop.

"You're not trying hard enough, Daddy! You don't love me!" Azi squealed, rubbing her eyes with her tiny hands, and Iwaizumi grimaced.

"S-Sorry, sweetie. Okay, okay, I'll tell another one." A brilliant thought crossed his mind, as Azi calmed down. She looked at Iwaizumi who was grinning wide and had a meaningful look on his face.

He cleared his throat before speaking on his animated voice. "Once upon a time, in two neighboring kingdoms, lived two princes — Prince Tofu and Prince Milk Bread."

He was cut off when Azi giggled and said, "Why would the Kings and Queens of the two kingdoms name their sons that, Daddy?"

"I don't know, just let me finish." He smiled. "They were the best of friends! They practically grew up, and did everything together!"

"Prince Milk Bread was full of silly antics, just like you," Iwaizumi pinched the tip of her nose, causing Azi to shriek. "And Prince Tofu was more of the serious type."

"They had lots and lots of differences. They rarely agree on things, but they cared for each other as much as they cared for themselves. Prince Milk Bread was always bullied, but Prince Tofu was always there to rescue him. Whenever someone made Prince Milk Bread cry, Prince Tofu would just hold his hand and squeeze it tight, and Prince Milk Bread would settle down and smile."

"Prince Tofu was always Prince Milk Bread's hero, Daddy?" Iwaizumi nodded at his daughter's inquiry.

"You see, Prince Milk Bread was so annoying. So, Prince Tofu never showed him that he cared. He was mean to him, but Prince Tofu loved Prince Milk Bread so much, that he was willing to go to extreme measures just for him. They shared the same sport, and they love everything about it. They loved volleyball~"

"Like you and Daddy Kawa?"

"Yes." He agreed, "Like me and your Daddy Kawa."

"Volleyball was their common ground, it was their stress reliever. They were both great at it. When they reached eighth grade, they realized something. They realized that they were in love with each other!" Iwaizumi flailed his finger in delight, but the expression he showed was the exact opposite of Azi's.

"But both of them are boys?" Her eyebrows furrowed, as she pursed her lips. Azi's expression somewhat told Iwaizumi that she wanted enlightenment.

"Love knows no gender, Azi. Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive to its destination, full of hope. I want you to remember that as you grow up." Iwaizumi flashed a cheeky grin, but Azi's look remained unchanged.

"But, I don't understand!" She pouted, fiddling with her fingers, and shaking her toes.

"It's because you're still too young to understand." He kissed Azi before he continued with his story, "It wasn't easy for the both of them, Azi. They faced many challenges, there were lots of hindrance that they encountered. One of which was when Prince Tofu was betrothed to a Princess from another neighboring kingdom."

"What's betro~ what's the word again, Daddy?"

Iwaizumi chuckled at her daughter's expression, "Betrothed. To be arranged in marriage."

"Huh? But Prince Tofu is in love with Prince Milk Bread? Didn't his parents know that?"

"Unfortunately, they didn't. The King and Queen of his kingdom wanted to wed him off, because they were getting poor and it was the only way. So when Prince Milk Bread found out, he was furious! He immediately broke up with Prince Tofu, and it seemed that all hope was lost since that day~"

Iwaizumi was cut off once more by his daughter, who managed to pinch him. Her expression turned sour, as she glared at Iwaizumi, "Don't tell me it's ending already!"

"No!" Iwaizumi shook his head vehemently. "The two princes stopped talking to each other since that day. Their relationship was stained. Prince Milk Bread went far far away from Prince Tofu, and they never got to see each other for three years. But after three years, the both of them were invited to a royal wedding, and for the first time in three years, Prince Tofu and Prince Milk Bread saw each other. Prince Tofu tried to resolve everything, but Prince Milk Bread was so filled with rage and anger, that he told Prince Tofu that he completely erased him out of his life. However, deep down, he knew it was a lie."

Iwaizumi stopped momentarily when Azi started sobbing. He flashed a sweet smile, as he gently wiped her tears away. "Did Prince Milk Bread forgive Prince Tofu?"

"Yes." Her mood brightened up.

"Prince Milk Bread forgave Prince Tofu when he realized that he was sincere. Prince Milk Bread found out that Prince Tofu had a little princess. He had a daughter with the Princess he was betrothed to."

"What's the little princess' name?" Azi's eyebrows furrowed. Her grumpy and nosy expression elicited a soft giggle from her father.

"Princess Czarina." Azi's eyes widened, and her mouth fell agape, much to her father's amusement.

"Like Nee-chan's name?" She tilted her head to the side, hugging her astronaut plushie tightly.

Iwaizumi nodded his head in response, "Yes! Like Nee-chan's name." He crossed his arms in front of his chest, as he pursed his lips. "Shall I continue now? If you keep on interrupting me, this story is never gonna end!"

"Sorry!" Azi flashed a peace sign. Iwaizumi smiled, as her gesture reminded him of Oikawa again.

He turned on her lampshade before continuing, as per Azi's request. "Their bond grew stronger than the first time. Their love blossomed to the fullest this time, but, one day, Prince Milk Bread disappeared. For a year, he didn't show up, and Prince Tofu was getting worried. As each day passed by, Prince Tofu started to hate Prince Milk Bread for leaving him again. He was filled with so much hate and anger. In his mind were several questions that needed to be answered. Prince Tofu was never the same when Prince Milk Bread was gone for the second time."

"Did Prince Milk Bread get kidnapped by a dragon?" Azi guessed.

"I thought you said no dragons!"

"Okay, so what happened?"

"When Prince Tofu went to a kingdom far, far away to visit his little Princess Czarina, his carriage was destroyed. He had to spend the night at a small cabin in the woods owned by a lovely, old couple. The couple looked very, very familiar. The old man reminded Prince Tofu of Prince Milk Bread. They had a significant resemblance." Azi flailed her fingers energetically as she asked permission to interrupt.

"Maybe they're Prince Milk Bread's grandparents!" She shrieked, and Iwaizumi giggled at her intuitiveness.

"You're right, Azi! The old couple were the former King and Queen of Prince Milk Bread's kingdom."

Iwaizumi was interrupted once more when Azi raised a question, "What was his kingdom's name, by the way?"

His eyes gazed the ceiling as he thought deep. It took a couple more seconds before Iwaizumi voiced out the first thing that crossed his mind. "The Milky Way Kingdom."

Azi beamed, her eyes glistening in awe. "Wow!" She mouthed, and Iwaizumi patted her head lightly before going on with the story.

"And there they were, the answers to Prince Tofu's questions were right before his eyes! He found out that during the whole year when he was gone, Prince Milk Bread was in the small cabin. Prince Tofu was glad to see Prince Milk Bread again, but this time he seemed different. He was weak, fragile and frail. It was as if his life was sucked out of him. And that's when Prince Tofu found out that Prince Milk Bread had cancer." Tears threatened to fall from his eyes, as he remembered the pain he felt when he first saw Oikawa lying in bed, almost lifeless. Iwaizumi did his best to hold the tears back, as he composed himself in front of his daughter.

"Nee-chan said Daddy Kawa died because of blood cancer! I hate cancer!" Azi mumbled, curling her tiny fists into a tight ball.

"Yeah, I hate cancer, too." Iwaizumi let out a huff of annoyance at the thought. "When Prince Milk Bread woke up, he couldn't remember anything about Prince Tofu because of his illness. The former Queen handed Prince Tofu the letters Prince Milk Bread wrote when he was gone for a year, and it brought tears to his eyes. The two of them started from scratch once more, their relationship was back to square one because Prince Tofu felt like a stranger to Prince Milk Bread this time. He was able to live for a month, but eventually Prince Milk Bread lost the battle. He died, but he died happy. Prince Tofu was depressed, but he knew life went on, and he did move on, but Prince Milk Bread's memories would forever remain in his heart. The End."

Iwaizumi smiled at Azi, who was already sleepy, but her eyes glistened with tears. "But that was a nice story, why did it have to end that way?" She sobbed.

"It's not always the ending that counts, Azi. It's the memories they made, and the happy moments they shared before their story came to a close. Life isn't always what you expect it to be, but everything happens for a reason. Despite all the pain, Prince Milk Bread and Prince Tofu had no regrets, because the fight was worth it. In fact, a few years after Prince Milk Bread died, their own daughter was born. She was sent from heaven and was given to Prince Tofu to be taken care of. The little Princess and Prince Milk Bread were very much alike. That is why Prince Tofu loved her very much, because the little princess was a living reminder of his true love."

"What's the name of the princess?" Azi was already half asleep. Her eyelids were heavy, and her eyes fluttered close.

Iwaizumi smiled at the sight of his daughter, as she dozed off to sleep. He stooped down and planted a small kiss on her forehead, switching off her lampshade, before he smiled.

_"It was you, Azi."_


	28. Afterword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading until the end!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have other Haikyuu!! fanfics found in my Wattpad account. Go give my profile a visit! The username is the same as my username here in AO3

I would like to express my sincerest gratitude to the readers who saw me through this fan-fiction; to all those who provided support, talked things over, read, voted, and offered comments, thank you.


End file.
